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David Dashifen Kees • 5 days ago
Excellent article. I'm a Pagan married to a Catholic and I'm sure she and her family were not expecting to be "yoked" to anyone like me but we're 6 days from our 10th anniversary and couldn't be happier!
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Alicia Chandler • 6 days ago
Thank you for telling your story. I especially like the idea that our commitment to faith and learning can bring people together instead of tear them apart.
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ccws • 6 days ago
Having grown up on a progressive Baptist seminary campus while my dad was a student and gotten a sort of "seminary education by osmosis" by reading anything and everything he was reading and being encouraged to think and question it all, I can't imagine being more "unequally yoked" than with a typical Christian. Having learned to "seek the mind of Christ" and follow the teachings and living example of Jesus the man, I can't find a whole lot to identify with in "having Jesus in your heart because he died for your sins."
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Mariah Sheehy • 6 days ago
Interesting way to look at it- a lot of Christians and other religious people often ignore that there are many on the surface "equally yoked" couples in which one of them is far more religious, and the other is the one who says "whatever, honey"- either going thru the motions to keep up appearances, or not being involved at all. Kids pick up on that.
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Crowtalk • 6 days ago
Thank you for your thoughtful and moving message. I hope that others will learn from it.

Perhaps you will have children. What will be their spiritual and religious upbringing?
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J. Dana Trent Crowtalk • 5 days ago
Crowtalk:

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Per your question, my husband and I do not yet have children. Our plan (should it happen) is that we would attempt to raise them in both faiths. Many other interfaith families have done so with great success. Susan Katz Miller, author of Being Both, is one of those such families.

That said, children arrive with their own personalities and interests. I think parents have a duty to expose their children to their "religion of origin," but also to cultivate understanding of others' beliefs and support and love children through their spiritual quests. Perhaps the most important thing we can offer our our children is a safe spiritual and theological environment in which they can ask questions, wonder, and seek.

In our case, Christianity and Hinduism harmonize well. I'm confident that my husband and I could share both teachings our faith community's beliefs, and our hypothetical children would see the overlap--even amid challenges. Most of all, they would look to us--their parents--to see how we love and move about in the world. We would be their first examples. Therefore, If our faith informs our relationship with God and one another, they would see that as a positive influence from both east and west.

Thanks again.

Deep peace,
Dana
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Sarah E Amick Alzubi J. Dana Trent • 5 days ago
Thank you for sharing this lovely (and loving) plan for your possible future children. :-)
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Govannon Thunorwulf • 7 days ago
I performed a interfaith wedding last summer. He is Methodist and she is spiritual, not really Atheist but close. They have been together for quite sometime before they got married and they are still doing well. He is ordained, like his father, and was hoping that his father would join me in performing the wedding but he declined due to my being an ordained Polytheist Pagan. I feel that his opposition had more to with his wife at the time than anything. She was venomous against anyone that was not Christian. She kept staring at me the whole day, but I never got the impression that she being rude, surprisingly enough. His father is no longer married to her now. I think his son's marriage was the last straw for him.
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Antonja Cermak • 17 hours ago
Just because the couple starts out with the same religion doesn't mean the participants won't change their religion along the way. My husband and I started out as Catholics. He is now atheist, and I am Jewish. Yet we are happy and still married (18 years this August).
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J. Dana Trent • 5 days ago
Thanks so much, everyone, for reading and posting. I've enjoyed reading both your positive comments and the questions and debates put forth. The "unequally yoked" phrase is one that always generates conversation, and I think the most important thing we can do is keep listening and responding thoughtfully. Thanks again!
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Sarah E Amick Alzubi J. Dana Trent • 5 days ago
Thank YOU, Dana! :)
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Glenn Dupuis • 6 days ago
When discussing inter-faith marriages,the Bible addresses the yoke with unbelievers.Often someone that is a Christian might marry one thinking that in time that one will convert.I have no statistics for the success of this idea.What we will never see is a Muslim/Christian marriage whereby a Muslim marries a Christian,as we all know the outcome of that.As far as a Buddhist,Hindu,or whatever,to the Christian those are all unbelievers,but I would say that if the marriage takes place,it will be a matter of continued controversy but like any marriage that is a normal situation.Christians divorce,and the Bible allows that for one reason only,and that is adultery.I myself am a three time loser,and in the Christian community some accept me others don't address it.I guess the only thing to do is just let the Lord make the final decision one day in the future.
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Kathy Ruth Glenn Dupuis • 6 days ago
You really don't know any Muslim/Christian married couples? I know a few and their marriages work just fine! (I even know a Muslim/Jewish couple!)
As far as THIS Christian is concerned , the "unbelievers" are those who profess to a faith but do not follow it.
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Sarah E Amick Alzubi Kathy Ruth • 5 days ago
As the Christian half of a Muslim/Christian married couple, I would just like to join in and say that we do exist and are very happy. :-)
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Tony Houghton Kathy Ruth • 6 days ago
"the "unbelievers" are those who profess to a faith" but that is not what the bible implies when it makes that statement ,it also says "only in the faith" when it comes to marriage meaning Christian faith
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Glenn Dupuis Kathy Ruth • 6 days ago
Just curious was that last remark directed at me personally? I did mention my being divorced I could assume that that is the basis for you remark if so it is offensive.
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NWaff • 5 days ago
It's great that they can enjoy being unequally yoked. The sad part of this story is that Dana's husband denies Jesus, and Jesus is very clear on where He stands with those who choose to deny Him.
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Zaoldyeck NWaff • 3 days ago
"Jesus is very clear on where He stands with those who choose to deny Him."

Childish petulance from a vain and malevolent arrogant monster?

"Your husband is a good person, and I know you love him very much in spite of him not being correct, but when you die, you're going to forget all about him because otherwise you might be sad that he's suffering for all eternity while you aren't, all because he thought a different god existed, and he was wrong."

I can't for the life of me figure out why Christians want to worship a god they describe as so transparently and childishly evil. Zeus wasn't as capricious as this version of Jesus. "Be wrong by denying me and suffer for all eternity!" Cthulhu ain't got notin' on that god.
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Frank • 6 days ago
Ironic that your attempt at saying interfaith marriages are ok you support that indeed they are very problematic and to be avoided.
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Tony Houghton • 6 days ago
What part of "only in the faith"do we not understand. Man is very good at twisting and finding loop holes in gods word to justify our actions as were the scribes and Pharisees as Jesus pointed out. We either believe God and His word or we don't ,if he is your lord then we follow His commands ,"if you love me ,keep my commandments" ,we must choose ,God does not share allegiances with any one,you can not serve two masters.
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Zaoldyeck Tony Houghton • 3 days ago
Huh, so... we could either love our fellow humans, treat each other with respect even if they don't happen to believe the same things you do, or, we could serve some god who requires sycophantic praise, damns anyone who doesn't believe in him, and requires that we put it above other humans?

I think I'd rather serve empathy and basic human kindness than I would want to serve an evil deity and evil master. Your god sounds kinda like how you'd describe a devil. "Do exactly what I say, reject your fellow humans for me, or else face the consequences".
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