Настроение сейчас - Died

I don't want to speak russian anymore.english diary will be good practice for me.and nobody will know my secrets because people don't like foreign texts-it's too hard to read them even for me.following the advice of good psychologyst I think about seeking foreign boy in icq for practicing my english and for just making friends with him!:)and who knows,maybe we will meet with him in future!:)but my real dream is to be with Valentine...I still love him(or he became my habit,so important for living!)...yes,I know,I'm stupid girl,who makes worse for myself.but I want to be only with him.the psychologyst said that my conduct like masochist's:i'm dreaming about him,seeking a meet with him...I have seen him just now.he was hugging with other girl to make me angry.but I was playing with Dima too!:)Valentine have spoken with me few times.according his behave i may think that he still like me too.but why he don't want to tell me about it?the psychologyst said that he still can't sort out his feelings.but he taking away my freedom.I'm living in obscurity.I want to take my freedom back to me.I want to find an exit from this labyrinth!..