there are a lot of thoughts,which I prefer not to share with someone I even don't want to spell them. Because I'm scared of them They are my fears..my cries...my selfish wishes I'm not selfish'but sometimes I don't understand,why different things cannot be just a little bit easier..It 's so difficult.it hurts me.and my pain hurts my beloved man.. In such moments I regret of all the things I've even thought.