Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other. (воистину)

Marriage: It's an agreement in which man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Divorce: Future tense of marriage.

College: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway, "See, I am not injured yet."

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Software Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such mails.../vkontakte.ru/images/end_quote.gif" target="_blank">http://vkontakte.ru/images/end_quote.gif) no-repeat 100% 100%; margin-right: 5px; -webkit-background-clip: initial; -webkit-background-origin: initial">