Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought For 2009:
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in North America but we haven't got a clue where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

LI 7.05.22