I miss her so much, so unbearably strong ... haven't seen her for more than a month already... looking forward to the 4th of August ... it will be 41 day without seeing her ... an awful lot, isn't it? I didn't tell her. I was so terribly scared to upset her, to make her think about the thing she is fighting with every minute of her life. I told Irene. and she told her... she smsed me immediately... I was shoked. I simply wrote back that I loved her and missed her, and said 'sorry' for no particular reason and for every tiny moment I could cause her even just a bit of pain. I miss her terribly. I just want to embrace her, to look into her eyes and to tell her how much she means to me. I miss her badly ...

and I hope so much that we'll meet in Paris ... otherwise it won't be the right way ...