it looks like I haven't written for ages. it's not that I didn't have anything to write about. it's just that I didn't have the heart to.

yesterday I was at the railway station again, seeing Natalie off. now it has already become something usual, absolutely routine. now I probably don't have such an awful feeling which I had about a year ago. but still ... yesterday I felt something ... something I haven't felt. I suddenly realized that all my life looks like these days when I see Nat or Irene off. all people have something in their lives to live for, some aims, some feelings, some one. and they live for that. they live. they take their trains and travel along their life-way to their point of destination. and I just meet them at this very railway station to encourage and to see them off to their happy future. and I stay there. alone. with nowhere to go, no one to talk to, nothing to feel. I don't have my own station, my train, my point of destination. nothing at all.

and no one cares ...