Have you really let me go?


No. this must be deceit again.

I left my second one.
He’s gone but the fantom is still here.
I don’t know whether it’s going to set me free one day or not.
I know ghosts shade away.
I know cause I’ve seen it.
There were ghosts with me.
They were exhausting my energy. I was like a squeezed orange.
And then on a sudden they disappeared.

It was a release.
And now you’re here.
I really want you to leave.
Not for ever, being gone with the wind.
Just give me freedom.
I know I should help you.
I will probably try.
I again feel different.
I’m almost pulling these words out of me, and a couple of days ago I felt really proud of myself for this self-cultivation and everything.
And now I’m exhausted.
This’s meaningless now, isn’t it?
No, now this just is hurting.
I promise I’ll try to help.
But I can’t promise there will be much of help.

Take me along, dear. Please. It won’t be ok without you. There will be emptiness.
Please. Go away but take me there. Say you’re glad to see me.
It won’t be ok without you.
I don’t want it to be so.

I simply wanna say a couple of words to you twosome, looking at your face, going down inside your eyes – just one time for real - and then to let it go.
And to hear a few words in return.
I know I’m saying stupid words.
I even must not think about it cause it is a mighty destroying force.
It crushes everything in sight.
I should go to sleep.