Настроение сейчас - A bit tired

When I was a child, I wanted to be a detective. I liked to oversee other people and notice every their action, movements of eyes, fingers, arms and legs… I was absolutely alone, nobody ever has disturbed me. It was so wonderful to follow somebody and imagine him or her or, if it was a couple, their everyday life as criminals. It was very interesting to imagine what they were going to commit a crime or that they had guns in their bags and other things like this. Maybe I became such a person because of it. I know many things about strangers, that's enough for me only to have a look at them. I don't know good it or bad, but sometimes it's hard to re-alize that a person you just have met is a weak man, weak personality… There are so less strong persons. It gives you a sense, that you will never meet a strong one, who'll be stronger than you and will be able to protect you. I'm sorry to say, but some people who are known as strong enough and who are even sure that they are such persons - and they aren't.
I also wanted to be an actress. I dreamed about it for seven (or even more) years. I really was a perfect actress, who has been playing in her real life. Every role I wanted was easy to play for me. I could do every-thing I can, and I could everything.
But now I'm studying at the University of Foreign Languages. Do un-important, uninteresting for me things, wasting my time.
They say, the Fate will find you in any case, everywhere. It's the only thing I'm dreaming about. It's the only thing I gave my hope to.