there's nothin' we can do to fight it
no man's got it made till he's far beyond the pain
and we who must remain go on living just the same


yes, this is another update. amazingly so.

so thursday and friday were, for the most part, THE most fun i've had in SOOO long. and i felt pretty normal, whatever normal is, and happy, even though i haven't taken my meds in forever, mainly because i'm too poor to spend $20 bucks to go to the doctor and get some. my doctor is worthless.. i need a new one. anyway.. the excitingness began when lisa came up thursday afternoon :-D YAYY. as soon as she got here we went to julie's arbonne party.. kinda like mary kay, but all natural skin care stuff. it was nice but awkward to see everyone.. anyway, we then went to pat and sully's, sully grilled us burgers and dogs, then headed up to saratoga lake for the night.. mark (kearsing) has a place on the lake.. so it was us 4, jamie and laura, jamie's lil bro brody, mark, and walter.. not the normal crew but i don't think i can describe how much fun it was! we alternated between hanging out at the dock, me lying on the grass in nice clothes, sitting on the deck, threatening to throw each other in the water, looking at the giant northern pike that was "sleeping" in the water by the dock, the guys peeing in the water, the girls peeing in the toilet (lol), debating hotwiring the neighbor's speedboat, taking silly pictures, chappelle's show season 2, throwing things at each other, traumatizing brody, and many other things. we all know how sully gets.. and mark was also pretty entertaining. lol. speaking of sully... he comes up to me today and goes "i guess a lot more things happened then i remember before i passed out"...so i asked him what he remembered.. and he says "well apparently i was out on the dock for a while, and then came in." i of course start laughing hysterically... and proceed to tell him that we had about a 15 minute, intense, intelligent conversation.. covering a wide range of topics such as politics, abortion, hiroshima, and various other historical elements. he remembers none of it. i made the comment walking up to the house that night that it had been forever since i'd had a real, opinionated, intelligent conversation that wasn't an argument. apparently i don't leave a lasting impression :-P jk. he has his reasons, and they all start with B.... HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry, inside joke. eventually everyone crashed, including mark and sully in the recliners (CUTE) haha and i stole the last bed. pat complained friday morning because apparently he was sleeping on a bunk bed. i smacked him in the face, stepped on his toes, and told him to deal. ok FINE, i just told him to deal lol. a few phone calls were made, including one from me to nichole at about 2:30 in the morning.. poor nichole. walter kept trying to get everyone to tell him who their sexual experiences were that they regretted.. and was quite annoyed when neither lisa nor i would, but further annoyed him by each telling him that the other one knew.. hahaha. poor walter. morning came way too quickly, and we sat around in the kitchen all way too exhausted to move.. and then jamie very nicely farted on mark a few times, and wafted it towards the rest of us. at this point we forayed into "downtown" toga to the diner for breakfast.. *cough*WALTER!!! hahahaha. I WANT SOME CREAM IN MY COFFEEEE! Oops, sorry ma'am. then pat, who was a bum and had to work, made us all leave.. jk. headed back to albany, lisa and i went home, and literally sat on the couch staring into oblivion. we were both too tired/lazy to move, but apparently not tired enough to fall asleep.. :-/

eventually we both managed to get ready and drove over to warners lake to go swimming/lay out in the sun.. well the last time i was at warner's lake was junior year of hs, aka 2000. so apparently, in the last five years, the restaurant has changed hands, and the new owners, dicks that they are, apparently have made their lakefront private. they let grass grow over in the beach area and everything.. *tear*. so we went to thompson's lake instead, which is a tiny tiny state park, and laid on the beach for a while.. eventually the beach closed, and we headed back to the car... i started driving on the road back the way we came, and there's a state park police suv in the road, who promptly turns his light on and points.. which from my angle, is at the road. i am COMPLETELY confused at this point. he motions again, this time actually in the direction of the roadside, and i pull over.. he come over and asks if i know i just came out of a one way.. i'm like uh... no. *looks around for signs.. nope, no signs* then he says "well do you know what the speed limit is here???" "uh..10 i think, officer." "do you know how fast you were going?!?!? NO?!?!?! WELL.. SIX-TEEN!!!!!! now i know that doesnt sound like a lot, but there are kids around!" "uh sorry, officer, i didn't realize i was going the wrong way." so he comes back from his pretty little white suv, i believe a durango, and gives me my lovely yellow ticket, and a court date august 3, in knox. probably no one knows where that is. farther out there than duanesburg. my lovely parting words from this kind officer were "...and you're lucky i didn't give you a ticket for doing 16 in a 10, because i wouldn't have reduced that in court." uh, THANKS, officer... should i feel grateful? are you insinuating that if i show up to court, you'll reduce the other one? then why write it? ticket quotas a little low for the month?!?! fucker.

anyway, to duanesburg for real food dinner (<3 moms) and to pick up a curtain (<3 moms) and a carrier for Kit Ten, who will soon be legally residing at 192 Crosier, as opposed to 2 Oxford. bye bye little admiral, kittycakes. he will have a much better time there, as he can run around outside (<3) and eat mice and icky things like that. and torture my dogs, who won't be able to get him. i think he is exacerbating my allergies.

*aside* why do i feel like i've been studying for the verbals on the SATs? all day today i have been using huge words. wow. i think it's that convo with sully the other night ;-)

back here, pseudo dinner (AGAIN) with daveycakes.. the love of my life. i hadn't seen him in a while, we went over to red robin, and talked and talked like we always do.. weird how i've only known him about a month, and only hung out about 8 times but i feel like we've been friends forever. just like it is with kate. <3 to both of them.

dave had plans, so i met up with pat and sully and jennyjen (truck jen, NOT pcho jen..lol) to watch charlie.. but our showing was sold out. sully was a bum and went home to bed, jen went home to shower and change, and pat and i went to denny's... then i went home and crashed and i think they went back and saw the 12am showing. i wasn't about to stay up till 2-3 when i had to open.. so sleepytime for me.

and now... *drum roll*














HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE!
if i'm online, and you im me, and i don't answer, that's why.
muggles.

"It was nearing midnight and the Prime Minister was sitting alone in his office, reading a long memo that was slipping through his brain without leaving the slightest trace of meaning behind."