Here's my story about how I came to write "Vader's Child" and got involved in V/L fandom (before it existed). VC is about 11 years old. It was published in 1996 in a zine titled "Dark Fantasies #5".

Having been born with a pervish outlook (in elementary school I would scribble stories about my fave male couple of the moment—though what they actually did was vague to me), I'd seen slashy undertones in the V/L exchanges in the movies and had my private fantasies about them, but I couldn't find anyone else interested…to say the least. The reactions I received at cons when I hinted about such a pairing was shock, horror, and even a few lectures about propriety. There was no widespread internet usage like there is today, so I had to rely on in-person conversations and discreet snail-mails. Eventually I found someone who sent to me, after swearing me to absolute secrecy as to whom I got it from (since this was such a scandalous pairing), a 3-page copy of a kinky story that involved Luke as Vader's prisoner. He was chained and hung from a ceiling—nude, of course—and Vader would come in each day and 'interrogate' him. The interrogation involved Vader touching him and, after a day, stroking his penis. Luke was terribly confused. He had no idea what was happening to him. One line is still stuck in my mind, and it went something like this: "When he'd had feelings like this before, he'd hop in his x-wing and zip around the galaxy until the feelings went away". That still makes me laugh.

After a couple days of Vader stroking Luke almost to the point of orgasm, then leaving him confused and frustrated, Luke begged Vader to stay. Vader went behind him, fucked him and stroked him, then cut him down. Luke slid down Vader's legs and puddled at his feet, embracing his boots. The end. I have no idea who wrote it, and unfortunately I don't have it anymore, but that was my first exposure to written V/L. And the last one for a very, very long time.

In the meanwhile, I'd been searching for SW zines. In pre-internet days, if you didn't already know that such things as fandom and zines existed, you'd never know to go looking for them. I sent letters to different people I remembered from past fandoms and eventually found a couple links to SW zines. But they were all genzines. After talking (in snail-mail—that took FOREVER!) to many people, I found ZP Florian, who was editing a groundbreaking zine that would be the first 'adult' SW zine (The Rest of the Garbage). ZP was determined to do the zine but a little worried, since Lucas had come down on a zine that had a Han/Leia sex scene (he gave them a 'cease-and-desist', so they pulled the offending pages from the zine and mailed them separately to people who asked for them). I wrote ZP and asked what sort of story she'd be interested in. She didn't know me at all, and she said that she'd be glad to read what I sent but couldn't promise to use it—then proceeded to give me a list of kinky-nesses that she found acceptable (which was pretty much everything). So I incorporated a lot of them into "Defeat", and also included a tiny V/L moment. Happily, she accepted it and was fine with V/L, but the publication did nothing to bring any V/L fans out of hiding.

Sometime later I was at MediaWest Con, standing at Joanne McCoy's table, flipping through copies of her zine, Dark Fantasies, looking for SW stories. There were none, but she said she'd love to have some. I suggested V/L and she agreed, with a little trepidation and a lot of interest. So I wrote "Vader's Child" to fit Dark Fantasies guidelines, which were a bit on the S/M side. It even had a couple of illos—one of Luke sitting naked at Vader's feet.

Keep in mind there was still no internet, which meant very little feedback. About three people snail-mailed Joanne with feedback on the story—they liked it, but were shocked at their own interest and expressed no desire to read any more V/L. *sigh* Once I posted it online, I received occasional emails, mostly dismayed, but several from readers who were interested in the pairing. I tried to encourage people to write V/L, but for a long time I was the only pervert in town. Eventually I moved on to Kung Fu: The Legend Continues fandom and expressed my V/L fantasies there. KFTLC hasn't been on for several years, so some of you may not be familiar with it. It involved a father and son who were deliberately separated, each thought the other had been killed, and they met again as adults. They were very emotional, touchy-feely, dependent, possessive, with conflicting beliefs— a lot of resemblance to V/L. Of course, I received some bashing for slashing that father/son pair, but for whatever reason, people found it much more acceptable than V/L and many people starting writing it.

At the request of a friend, I wrote a couple Han/Luke stories for her zine, but my heart wasn't in it. We collaborated a bit, but she wanted to write H/L and I wanted V/L, so that collaboration didn't last for long. I gave up on the idea of writing V/L. There was no audience… until the last couple years when V/L fans start appearing and I began finding the occasional V/L story on the web. You can imagine how happy I was (and am)! I love reading stories, though I still haven't been inspired to write another. However, a Certain Person and I are collaborating on a story, which makes me happy, happy, happy! It's wonderful not to feel alone with my fave perversion.

And now there are lists and LJ's about V/L. For me, it's like every holiday rolled into one. But being greed and hungry, I need more stories to read. I think I've read everything that's on the web, but there must be more stories out there, hiding on people's computers, ready to be shared. Anyone??

I'd be interested to hear how others on this list came to enjoy V/L, if there were any special moments in the films that caught your prurient eye, etc. And if you're writing!

Elizabeth