Настроение сейчас - Helpless...

My consciousness keeps my heart away.only this one can help... Help me to live and feel as i want,as i have got used to. ...But outside looks : i'm dumb ...Am i happy? ...May be. But who can help consciousness to go on for keep my soul from one-side love?? ...Hmm... i think,psychotropes or heroine became as a one way out. ...self distruction ...i know. but nobody couldn't ever help me.
Oh,and what about YOU?? ...I'd like better to burn to asches my reminiscences than dreaming of you every night and waiking up every morning thinking of you. ...Oh my dear,please DIE in my memoires , BURN into my egocentrism and into all this pain i've known about love ...and leave alone myself,decaying with every year of your day.

P.S. now i'm torn... I'm so far away from life. Cause,i'm dying here... i'm bleeding in every eyes. And you.... be happy