Настроение сейчас - muthafukked

I'm alone.. again.. and as far as I understand, this condtion seems to stay for ever..
One of my friends advised me not to worry.. but I can't..I CAN'T!! Why is all this shit happenning only with me? Uh?
She's just said, that she's sorry.. wanna believe.. but all these times left deep scars in my heart and I'm not sure that I can cure'em.. and is this worth doing?
I dunno.. Should I again and again try to find a person, that will suit my soul and feelings or jst to give up and try to stay with the feeling that I won't ever find'er?..
I again say, that I dunno.. Well.. I'll try to cure myself by getting drunk or smth like dat..
Peace..