Настроение сейчас - Snowy/sleepy

Strange. I always thought about home as it is not mine. I always wanted to escape.. to get the hell out of here. Which is diffucult in winter. But now when I have an opportunity to move out I don't want to. Many many reasons but are they real reasons? Or excuses as I don't like changes?

I love this area. What else can I say? I love it here in spring because I can ESCAPE in spring. I can walk along the Moscow-river's bank, ride on a swing, sing and revel in despair. And I don't want to leave it! Yep I don't want to leave my despair. Marvellous. Here everything is relatively fine apart from the lack of compromises. But this lack can ultimately kill me. As far as I know myself I'll stay but what will happen here to me is a big big question. At least I have places to escape ;)

Ok, enough about sad things. What about positive? This year I have decided to make impulsive thoughtless (or practically unconsidered) actions. And making these actions really brings me happiness! New, previously not experienced happiness. All my life I measured everything, thought about all possible concequences taking into account the worst outcomes and ultimately did nothing. As my friend said I took a passive part in my life. And it is very close to truth, but now I hope I've changed. And I am happy. At least for now. Some major decisions and I am going on quite a different way. My way.