A Farmer has three daughters, all about to go out on their first date on the same night. As they are upstairs primping, he waits at the door, shotgun in hand.
The first suitor arrives at precisely 8:00pm. He says, "Hi. My name's Joe. I'm here to pick up Flo. We're going to catch a show. Is she ready to go?"
The farmer nods and allows them to leave.
The second suitor arrives at 8:15pm. He says, "Hi. My name's Eddie. I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going out to eat spaghetti. Is she ready already?"
The farmer nods and allows them to leave.
The third suitor arrives at 8:30pm. He says, "Hi. My name's Chuck..."
The farmer shoots him.


Down south, Butch called his attorney and asked, "Is
It true theys suin' them cigarette companies fer causin'
People to git cancer ?"
"Yes, Butch, sure is true," responded the lawyer.
"And now someone is suin them fast food restaurants Fer makin them fat an cloggin' their arteries with all Them burgers an fries, is that true, Mista Lawyer?"
"Sure is, Butch."
"And that lady sued McDonalds for millions when she Was
gave that hot coffee that she ordered?"
"Yep."
"And that football player sued that university when he Graduated and still couldn't read?"
"That's right," said the lawyer."
"But why are you asking?"
"Well, I was thinkin...
What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser fer all them ugly women I slept with?"


A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from the previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there." A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves. Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I take the Macaroni and cheese with broccoli. Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner things the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves. He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork around your vagina before I take it to the blind man." Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"