"Does this town need a hug? What happened? 'No Country For Old Men,' 'Sweeney Todd,' 'There Will Be Blood'? All I can say is, thank God for teen pregnancy." -- Jon Stewart on the "psychopathic killer movies" nominated

"These past three and a half months have been very tough. The town was torn apart by a bitter writer's strike, but I'm happy to say that the fight is over. So tonight, welcome to the makeup sex." -- Jon Stewart

"Even 'Norbit' got a nomination, which I think is great. Too often, the Academy ignores movies that aren't good." -- Jon Stewart

"Tom Hanks has won two Academy Awards, although he was not nominated tonight. So if you ask me, he's got no place being here. He's got a lot of nerve, that guy." -- Jon Stewart, introducing presenter Hanks

"Mostly we just sit around making catty comments about the outfits you're all wearing at home." -- Jon Stewart on how the Kodak Theater audience spends the commercial breaks

"I happened to have taken Spanish in high school ... I believe he told his mother where the library is." -- Jon Stewart "translating" Javier Bardem's Spanish-language acceptance speech

Personal opinion: the worst ceremony ever! Jon Stewart's jokes (okay, some of them) were not funny. All my predictions about winners failed. Damn, I lost not only a couple of bucks, but a belief in Oscar ceremony. I do understand that those people who give there votes to some actor/movie etc. are qualified, but I think they should ask movie-goers about their opinion!! That will be fair!