Эрик Картман

Screw you guys , I'm going home.

Respect my Autoritah!

Damn Hippies!

I'm not fat,I'm big boned.

No kitty this is my pot pie

Hella cool

I'm not fat! I'm festivally plump!

Sweeeet

But,MOOOOOOM!

Okay,that does it! Why has everything today involvew things either going in or comming out of my my ass?

Kenny's family is so poor that yesterday they had to put their card box up for a second mortgage

Yeah I want Cheesy Poofs!

Mr. Garrison: How would you like to go see the school counselor?
Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
Mr. Garrison: What did you just say?!
Cartman: Oh, I'm sorry (Clears throat and pulls out megaphone), actually what I said was, "How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"

Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.

I would never let a woman kick my ass. If she tried something, I'd be like, HEY! You get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!

Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.

Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.

It's a man's obligation to stick his boneration in a women's separation; this sort of penetration will increase the population of the younger generation.

Cartman: You seem a little irritable, Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina?
Kyle: There's no sand in my vagina!
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