501. ARGUMENT FROM SPORTS VICTORY (I)
(1) My team won.
(2) They got their talent from God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

502. ARGUMENT FROM SPORTS VICTORY (II)
(1) My team won.
(2) It's because they prayed to Jesus.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

503. ARGUMENT FROM SIGN AT SPORTS GAME
(1) John 3:16
(2) Therefore, God exists.

504. ARGUMENT FROM BATHROOM
(1) I have to pee.
(2) Our bodies are perfectly designed so that we can do this.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

505. ARGUMENT FROM POSSIBILITY
(1) Without theists, all Gods are possible.
(2) Without atheists, all Gods are possible.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

506. 7th ANGEL'S ARGUMENT (CONDENSED)
(1) Is are five when lemon fell purple left thinks acrophobe sticks.
(2) For sharp king jigsaw white roll quick double; quality bunny done press highly.
(3) Therefore, God exists, and it all makes sense.

507. ASYMMETRIC ARGUMENT FROM INDIA
(1) Mother Theresa's compassion and voluntary poverty prove that her Christianity is the true religion.
(2) No, Gandhi's compassion and voluntary poverty do NOT prove that his Hinduism is the true religion.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

508. ARGUMENT FROM PLAYGROUND SOCIAL DYNAMICS
(1) The public school system is overwhelmingly populated by Christian kids.
(2) If you raise your kid as an atheist, he will get beaten up a lot.
(3) No, this is NOT a reason to be angry at Christians. It is a reason to become one.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

509. ARGUMENT FROM BLATANT CHEATING
(1) The following statement is true.
(2) The preceding statement is false.
(3) While you're puzzling that one out, I'm going to run around and tell everyone that you said God exists!
(4) Therefore, God exists.

510. DR. LAURA'S ARGUMENT.
(1) God either exists or doesn't exist.
(2) How can God not exist?
(3) Whore.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

511. ARGUMENT FROM A BILLION DOLLARS
(1) If someone you didn't like opened a bank account with a billion dollars in it, and put it in your name, you would not believe him and you would lose your billion dollar gift.
(2) This is like me telling you about the gift of God's love. It's a gift that you have, you just don't believe it.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

512. ARGUMENT FROM KISSING HANK'S ASS (II)
(1) God loves you, and wants you to kiss His Ass.
(2) He will give you a million dollars when you leave town.
(3) No, you can't come back after you leave town.
(4) My mother left town, and she got the million dollars.
(5) No, we haven't talked to her since she left town.
(6) God will kick the shit out of you if you don't believe in him.
(7) Therefore, God exists.

513. ARGUMENT FROM RESPECT
(1) You have to respect my right to believe that God exists.
(2) You also have to respect my right to believe that I don't have to respect your right to believe that God doesn't exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

514. ARGUMENT FROM TIME TRAVEL
(1) If time machines existed, then you could go back in history and change events.
(2) God can do that.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

515. ARGUMENT FROM ROCKET SCIENCE
(1) [Atheist spends hours trying to argue the nonexistence of God, unsuccessfully]
(2) Atheist: Look, this isn't rocket science!
(3) Christian: Yes, but rocket science is!
(4) Therefore, God exists.

516. ARGUMENT FROM STUPID BUMPER STICKER (I)
(1) Real men love Jesus.
(2) God made real men.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

517. ARGUMENT FROM STUPID BUMPER STICKER (II)
(1) God said it.
(2) I believe it.
(3) That settles it.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

518. ARGUMENT FROM STUPID SYMBOL ON CAR
(1) Fish-shaped symbol labeled "Truth" eats Darwin symbol.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

519. ARGUMENT FROM GOOGLE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (III)
(1) Google indexes about 44 million pages containing the keyword "God."
(2) So many websites can't be wrong!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

520. ARGUMENT FROM THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
(1) You know how a butterfly flapping its wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world?
(2) Well, surely another mundane event must have caused God's existence by now!
(3) Therefore, God exists.

521. ARGUMENT FROM MARTIAL KNOWLEDGE / ARGUMENT FROM "THE MATRIX" (II)
(1) I know Kung Fu.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

522. ARGUMENT FROM THE PEOPLE
(1) All comrades are invited to express their opinion on God's existence in a democratic referendum.
(2) Any comrade who votes "No" will be tortured, mutilated, and shot.
(3) Therefore, Comrade God exists.

523. META-ARGUMENT (II)
(1) I think we've spent too much time discussing whether God exists or not.
(2) We should now discuss whether or not we should discuss whether God exists or not.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

524. ARGUMENT FROM THE ROLLING STONES
(1) You can't always get what you want.
(2) If you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
(3) I need God to exist.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

525. ARGUMENT FROM JOHN LENNON
(1) John Lennon once said that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus.
(2) I didn't like that.
(3) Somebody killed him for saying that.
(4) Obviously, God didn't like him saying that, either.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

526. BOB GREEN'S ARGUMENT FROM THE AUTONOMIC NERVOUS SYSTEM
(1) God is the giver and sustainer of life. Only he can create a person's life force, and only he can take it away.
(2) Humans cannot will their own deaths just by thinking about it, as Jesus did after he was scourged, crucified, and stabbed in the side with a lance, although he could have survived if he wanted to, because he is God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

527. ARGUMENT FROM THE X-FILES
(1) The truth is out there.
(2) God is the truth.
(3) Ergo, God is out there.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

528. ARGUMENT FROM JUST MAYBE
(1) A big-name scientist, somewhere, once admitted that it just might be possible, perhaps, that one of the many pieces of evidence for evolution could, maybe, if P < 0.05, be false.
(2) Therefore, evolution is definitely false.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

529. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF KNOWLEDGE
(1) See this circle?
(2) Its interior represents all that we know.
(3) What we don't know is huge, perhaps infinite.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

530. ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY FAITH
(1) It is impossible to prove the existence of God.
(2) Proof denies faith.
(3) Faith is necessary.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

531. TYLER'S ARGUMENT FROM JESSICA ALBA
(1) Jessica Alba is a friggin' goddess!
(2) Therefore, goddesses exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

532. ST AUGUSTINE'S ARGUMENT FROM REASON AND TRUTH, a.k.a. PRESUPPOSITIONALIST (III)
(1) If there is something immutable and superior to reason, then God exists.
(2) Truth is immutable and superior to reason.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

533. ST AUGUSTINE'S ARGUMENT FROM HELL AND ETERNAL TORMENT
(1) If there is no hell, then I can't watch souls punished for eternity.
(2) When I'm in heaven, I want to watch souls in eternal torment.
(3) God is necessary for heaven and hell to exist.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

534. ST PAUL'S ARGUMENT FROM WRATH OF GOD
(1) The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness.
(2) I like the idea of God being against those I call godless and wicked.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

535. ST PAUL'S ARGUMENT FROM GOD'S INVISIBLE QUALITIES
(1) God's invisible qualities — his eternal power and divine nature — have been clearly seen.
(2) Also, men who say they don't see these qualities are without excuse and are fools.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

536. PETER KREEFT'S ARGUMENT FROM CAUSALITY AND INTELLIGENCE, a.k.a. GOD OF THE GAPS, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (XV)
(1) You can't get more in the effect than you had in the cause.
(2) A universe ruled by blind chance has no intelligence.
(3) Humans are intelligent.
(4) Therefore there must be a cause for human intelligence that transcends the universe.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

537. PETER KREEFT'S ARGUMENT FROM PRINCIPLE OF SUFFICIENT REASON, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (III)
(1) Everything that is has some adequate or sufficient reason why it is.
(2) The universe exists.
(3) Therefore, the universe has to have a sufficient reason, an uncaused cause.
(4) The only reason I can think of is God.
(5) Quantum Mechanics and Inflation Theory? Never heard of them.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

538. PETER KREEFT'S ARGUMENT FROM SINE QUA NON, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (IV)
(1) A cause is the sine qua non for an effect.
(2) If no cause, no effect.
(3) If no creator, no creation.
(4) If no God, no universe.
(5) The universe exists.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

539. PETER KREEFT'S ARGUMENT FROM POSITIVE NUMBERS, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (V), a.k.a. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (III)
(1) Positive numbers are not caused by negative numbers.
(2) There is a parallel in the number series for a first cause: the number one.
(3) If there were no number one, there could be no subsequent addition of units.
(4) Two is two ones, three is three ones, and so on. If there were no first, there could be no second or third.
(5) God is like the number one.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

540. ARGUMENT FROM NEGATIVE NUMBERS
(1) Humans used to think that negative numbers did not exist.
(2) Mathematicians tell us that they do exist.
(3) God is like negative numbers.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

541. ST THOMAS AQUINAS' ARGUMENT FROM BEGINNING TO TIME, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (VI)
(1) If there was no God, there was no beginning to time.
(2) If there was no beginning to time, all things that could happen would have happened by now and the universe would have ended.
(3) The universe still exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

542. C. S. LEWIS' ARGUMENT FROM FEELING IN MY BONES, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (VII)
(1) "I felt in my bones that this universe does not explain itself."
(2) This universe needs an explanation.
(3) The explanation must be God, because I can't think of anything else.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

543. ST THOMAS AQUINAS' ARGUMENT FROM PERFECTION, GOODNESS OR VALUE, a.k.a. ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (IV)
(1) We rank things as more or less perfect, or good or valuable.
(2) If this ranking is false and meaningless, then souls don't really have any more perfection than slugs.
(3) Therefore, there must be an ultimate standard of perfection for this ranking or all our value judgments are meaningless.
(4) Our value judgments are not meaningless.
(5) God is the ultimate standard of perfection.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

544. ARGUMENT FROM NEGATIVE DIVINE JUSTICE (I)
(1) If there is no God, then Hitler and Stalin were never punished for the evil that they did.
(2) There would be no Divine Justice for them, and this is not acceptable.
(3) Only God could give us Divine Justice.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

545. ARGUMENT FROM NEGATIVE DIVINE JUSTICE (II)
(1) If there is no God, then gays and others who do things I don't like may never be punished.
(2) I want them to be punished.
(3) Only God could give us Divine Justice and punish them.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

546. ARGUMENT FROM POSITIVE DIVINE JUSTICE, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM NECESSARY FAIRNESS
(1) If there is no God, then the death of a little girl would be unfair.
(2) It's also just not fair that so many millions of people suffer every day of their lives.
(3) There's got to be more to life than the veil of tears we experience.
(4) Our sense of justice demands that these wrongs be righted.
(5) Only God could do that.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

547. ARGUMENT FROM CONSEQUENTIAL DIVINE JUSTICE
(1) If there is no God, then our lives are essentially worthless and meaningless.
(2) There would be no consequences of our actions other than the pleasure they bring us in the here and now.
(3) There would be no Divine Justice, and this is not acceptable.
(4) Only God could give us Divine Justice.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

548. ST ANSELM’S ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists in our understanding. This means that the concept of God resides as an idea in our minds.
(2) God is a possible being, and might exist in reality. He is possible because the concept of God does not bear internal contradictions.
(3) If something exists exclusively in our understanding and might have existed in reality then it might have been greater. This simply means that something that exists in reality is perfect (or great). Something that is only a concept in our minds could be greater by actually existing.
(4) Suppose (theoretically) that God only exists in our understanding and not in reality.
(5) If this were true, then it would be possible for God to be greater then he is (follows from premise #3).
(6) This would mean that God is a being in which a greater is possible.
(7) This is absurd because God, a being in which none greater is possible, is a being in which a greater is possible. Herein lies the contradiction.
(8) Thus it follows that it is false for God to only exist in our understanding.
(9) Hence God exists in reality as well as our understanding.
(10) Therefore, God exists.

549. ST ANSELM'S ARGUMENT FROM REDUCTIO AD ABSURDUM, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM FOOLS
(1) The Fool asserts that God does not exist.
(2) What is called "God" is "a being than which no greater can be conceived."
(3) The Fool agrees that "a being than which no greater can be conceived" exists in the mind, since he understands the words.
(4) To say that "a being than which no greater can be conceived" does not exist is to say that such a being is only an idea -- it does not exist in the mind and in reality.
(5) But such a being, which exists in the mind alone, is in fact "a being than which a greater can be conceived" since it is greater to exist in both mind and reality than just mind alone.
(6) So, the Fool believes that "a being than which no greater can be conceived" is "a being than which a greater can be conceived" which is impossible.
(7) Therefore, since "a being than which no greater can be conceived" cannot exist in the mind alone (because that is self-contradictory) such a being must exist in both mind and reality.
(8) Therefore, God exists.

550. ARGUMENT FROM KARMA
(1) There are persons who are unusually beautiful and powerful both in this life and in the life after death.
(2) Therefore, there must be a supreme authority who is able to award the respective benefits of our present activities.
(3) Only God could be the supreme authority.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

551. ARGUMENT FROM REVEALED SANSKRIT SCRIPTURES
(1) The existence of God can not be inferred from sense perception (pratyaksa) or from logic (anumana).
(2) The existence of God can be understood from the revealed scriptures (sabda).
(3) Revealed scriptures say that God exists.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

552. ARGUMENT FROM BIG BANG AND QUANTUM MECHANICS
(1) The Big Bang would never have banged if there were no god (or some ET) as observer to collapse the waveform.
(2) Therefore God (or some ET) must have existed at some point in the past.
(3) If an ET had done it, he would be God.
(4) God is eternal, so if He did exist He must still exist.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

553. ARGUMENT FROM CLOTHING
(1) Fundie: "Why do you wear clothes?"
(2) Atheist: "It is cold, I like having pockets for stuff, my body isn't too neat to look at, and most of all, I would be arrested and forced to clothe myself anyway."
(3) Fundie: "No. You wear clothes because Adam and Eve sinned and were kicked out of the Garden of Eden and made ashamed of their nakedness."
(4) Atheist: "What about primitive societies where the natives go bare-assed without embarrassment?"
(5) Fundie: "The word of God hasn't reached them."
(6) Therefore, God exists.

554. EVANDER HOLYFIELD'S ARGUMENT FROM BOXING DEFEAT
(1) I prayed to Jesus for help in knocking out my opponent.
(2) I lost.
(3) Therefore God wanted me to learn something / build character and / or God works in mysterious ways.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

555. EVANDER HOLYFIELD'S ARGUMENT FROM BOXING VICTORY
(1) I prayed to Jesus for help in knocking out my opponent.
(2) Having worked for years and years with the best trainers in the business, I beat my opponent, whom I was heavily favored to beat anyhow.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

556. ARGUMENT FROM OTHERWISE UNACHIEVABLE DENIAL
(1) I have faith in the Bible despite the fact that it endlessly contradicts common sense, the laws of nature, the sciences, a Himalayan Mountain of facts, and of course itself.
(2) Such titanic denial could never be achieved by mere mortals alone.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

557. ARGUMENT FROM UNTIDY THEORY OF EVOLUTION
(1) In attempting to unravel such a simple, straightforward matter as the evolution of life over the course of the last 2.7+ billion years, scientists have encountered certain difficulties and differences of opinion.
(2) Therefore the Theory of Evolution is a house of cards and creationism is self-evident.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

558. ARGUMENT FROM EVERYTHING
(1) God is everything.
(2) You can’t doubt everything – am I right?
(3) Therefore, God exists.

559. ARGUMENT FROM AIR
(1) You know there is air; you can't see it or touch it; you can only feel it.
(2) It's same with God.
(3) When you truly start believing in him you feel his presence within you.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

560. ARGUMENT FROM IMPERFECT READING COMPREHENSION
(1) I have a 12 page argument for the existence of God.
(2) Anyone who reads and comprehends my argument will be convinced that God exists.
(3) You are not convinced that God exists.
(4) Either you didn't read my essay or you didn't understand it.
(5) You cannot refute my argument unless you have read it and understood it.
(6) You cannot refute my argument that God exists.
(7) Therefore, God exists.

561. ARGUMENT FROM MISSING BODY
(1) Jesus' body went missing.
(2) No one ever found it!
(3) He must have risen from the dead!
(4) Therefore, God exists.

562. BILLY GRAHAM'S ARGUMENT FROM TALKING TO GOD
(1) "I talked to Him this morning."
(2) Therefore, God exists.

563. ARGUMENT FROM HUMAN BEHAVIOR
(1) If we evolved from monkeys, we should behave like monkeys.
(2) We don't behave like monkeys.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

564. ARGUMENT FROM AMERICAN ASTRONAUTS
(1) American astronauts read from the Bible and had communion in space.
(2) Therefore, they believed in God.
(3) Therefore, God and science are compatible.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

565. ARGUMENT FROM LACK OF EVIDENCE (III) (INVERSE BABELFISH ARGUMENT)
(1) Any evidence would be against faith.
(2) Without faith, God is nothing.
(3) Faith exists.
(4) Therefore, God is not nothing and evidence for God's nonexistence cannot exist.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

566. SALMA HAYEK'S ARGUMENT FROM BIGGER BOOBS
(1) As a young girl, I prayed for bigger boobs.
(2) I grew bigger boobs.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

567. ARGUMENT FROM IRRATIONAL CANINE FEARS
(1) My parent's dog wouldn't go past a house people think is haunted.
(2) Science cannot explain this.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

568. ARGUMENT FROM SCIENCE (III)
(1) Science can't explain everything.
(2) God can.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

569. ARGUMENT FROM IMAGINARY LAW OF SCIENCE
(1) Theist states some imaginary law of science, and insists that it is inviolable and immutable.
(2) Without any evident logical rationale, theist claims that this law of science necessitates that God exists.
(3) Atheist points out that the "law of science" doesn't exist, and even if it were true it doesn't have anything to do with whether any god exists.
(4) Theist restates the imaginary law of science and insists it is a fact.
(5) Atheist asks for reliable evidence or logic.
(6) Theist repeats imaginary law of science and points out that it hasn't been refuted.
(7) Eventually, atheist grows tired of the conversation.
(8) Therefore, God exists.

570. ARGUMENT FROM CERTAINTY
(1) I want certainty about how the universe works.
(2) Certainty is more important than being right or not knowing.
(3) God gives me certainty.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

571. ARGUMENT FROM IMPACT ON HISTORY
(1) The existence of many characters who had a large impact on history, is doubted today. Just think of Homer, Socrates, Jesus and Shakespeare.
(2) However, scientific inquiries seem to indicate that these persons did exist after all!
(3) God had a large impact on history, and his existence is doubted today.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

572. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (III)
(1) Theist: How can you say the Bible isn't true, just look at (points out some arbitrary passage)?
(2) Atheist: But (points out some contradictions or falsehoods) makes it seem unlikely that it can be true, let alone the word of God. You are entitled to your beliefs, but ...
(3) (Theist cuts off atheist by throwing a Bible at him and knocking him unconscious.)
(4) Theist: Ha, let's see you argue now.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

573. ARGUMENT FROM ATHEISM
(1) Many atheists exist.
(2) They can't all be right.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

574. ARGUMENT FROM LOVE (II)
(1) Nobody loves me!
(2) I feel sooo lonely...
(3) I don´t like that.
(4) The idea of God who loves me eternally is really beautiful and makes me feel comfortable and I don´t feel that deficient.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

575. ARGUMENT FROM FREE WILL
(1) Free will exists.
(2) The universe is deterministic.
(3) Only God could create free will in a deterministic universe.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

576. ARGUMENT FROM THE BIBLE (IV)
(1) God's word is the Bible.
(2) How do you know?
(3) It says so in the Bible.
(4) How do you know the Bible is true?
(5) The Bible is the word of God.
(6) But...
(7) Therefore, God exists.

577. ARGUMENT FROM STRAWMEN
(1) All these "proofs of God" here are just strawmen and oversimplifications of the real arguments for God!
(2) The fact that a strawman argument exists proves that whatever it is a strawman of must be correct.
(3) Therefore the genuine proofs of God are correct.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

578. ARGUMENT FROM PHONECALL
(1) God is perfect and has no body.
(2) When my phone rang, there was nobody there.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

579. ARGUMENT FROM AUTHORITY (CLASSIC FORMULATION)
(1) God exists.
(2) Why?
(3) Because we said so!
(4) Therefore, God exists.

580. ARGUMENT FROM ELIMINATION OF ALL OPPOSING VIEWS, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM FORCE (II), REPEATED
(1) Atheist/agnostic/believer in another god: "I don’t believe in your god."
(2) Believer immediately kills atheist/agnostic/believer in another god.
(3) Repeat for all atheists/agnostics/believers in another god.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

581. ARGUMENT FROM CONSENSUS
(1) All of us in this church believe in God.
(2) Ten thousand lemmings can’t be wrong.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

582. ARGUMENT FROM SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
(1) The girl I lust after will not sleep with me unless I am saved.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

583. ARGUMENT BY RACISTS/POLYGAMISTS/CHILD MOLESTERS
(1) The Bible is sufficiently unclear so that it can be interpreted to mean almost anything.
(2) I can interpret passages from the Bible to support my own degenerate tendencies.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

584. ARGUMENT FROM SPOILED CONSUMERISM
(1) I want God to exist.
(2) I always get what I want.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

585. ARGUMENT FROM NEGATIVE AMAZON RATINGS
(1) Dozens of atheists showed up on Amazon.com to give [Christian apologist]'s book one star.
(2) This shows they're afraid God is real.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

586. ARGUMENT FROM MATHEMATICAL PROOF
(1) The term 'God' implies wholeness, characteristic of the number one.
(2) Identifying God with the number one is in accordance with Holy Scripture (Matthew 19:17 and Galations 3:30).
(3) To prove the existence or necessity of the number one will prove the existence of God.
(4) Nothingness is an identity for emptiness.
(5) If one did not exist and emptiness was all there was, it should still be as such.
(6) We don't have emptiness, and we can substitute 'God' for 'one'.
(7) Therefore, God exists.

587. ARGUMENT FROM OUTSIDE OF FROM TIME, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (VIII)
(1) Something outside of time must have started creation.
(2) God is outside of time.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

588. ARGUMENT FROM DEAD SAINTS
(1) Many people died for their belief in God and Jesus.
(2) Some even became saints!
(3) Only their knowledge of God could allow them to do this.
(4) Jonestown, Heaven's Gate, and the Solar Temple? Never heard of them.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

589. PETER O’TOOLE'S ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER
(1) I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
(2) I exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

590. MARILYN'S ARGUMENT FROM COVERED BUTT, a.k.a. PASCAL'S WAGER (III)
(1) It's not about proof.
(2) It's about covering your butt.
(3) I'd rather have my butt covered than get caught with my pants down, if you get my drift.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

591. ARGUMENT FROM ARGUMENT REFLEXIVITY
(1) Skeptics spend hours reading proofs of God's existence on this web page.
(2) This indicates that even they basically believe in God.
(3) Therefore, all humankind believes in God.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

592. ARGUMENT FROM QUALITY OF LIFE
(1) Quite simply, a believer's quality of life is better than an atheist's.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

593. 11th CENTURY's ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY'S ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT, a.k.a. TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT (III)
(1) God is, by definition, a being greater than which nothing can be conceived or imagined.
(2) Existence in reality is better than existence in one's imagination.
(3) God must exist in reality; if God did not, then God would not be that than which nothing greater can be conceived or imagined.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

594. ONCOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) Cancer is a punishment from God.
(2) Many atheists have died of cancer.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

595. FRED HOYLE'S ARGUMENT FROM IMPROBABILITY a.k.a. GOD OF THE GAPS, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (XVI)
(1) It's extremely improbable that life or humanity arbitrarily came into existence.
(2) The odds are less than for a tornado forming a 747 in a junk yard.
(3) Life and humanity exist.
(4) Only God could have done it.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

596. SINNER MINISTRIES' ARGUMENT FROM OBJECTIVE LAWS
(1) There are objective laws of logic, math and science, and moral truths (that are immaterial).
(2) If you disagree, how do you know that? Go to (1).
(3) The laws couldn't exist if God did not exist.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

597. ARGUMENT FROM BATTERED WIFE SYNDROME
(1) God loves me.
(2) I know that he sometimes hurts me, and others.
(3) But at least he loves me, and I couldn't live without him.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

598. ST AUGUSTINE'S AND ST THOMAS AQUINAS' ARGUMENT FROM APOPHATIC (OBS.) TRADITION
(1) God is ineffable and beyond powers of description.
(2) He can be experienced by religious practice.
(3) Experiences reflect reality.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

599. LADY HOPE'S ARGUMENT FROM DARWIN
(1) An American preacher said that Darwin recanted on his deathbed, and started to read the bible.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

600. ARGUMENT FROM 4 STEP PERFECT PROOF FOR GOD OF THE BIBLE, a.k.a. FIRST CAUSE ARGUMENT (IX)
(1) There is an exponential progression in our conscience, so that it won't take much longer to reach sinlessness in the saved.
(2) Since nothing in nature happens all by itself and always has a cause, then nature could not have caused itself.
(3) Don't argue against some god for we are talking about God of the Bible. Just stay on topic.
(4) There can not be gods creating gods or supernatural events causing supernatural events in the eternity of the past, because they do not cause themselves and due to the exponential progression in conscience as in (1) since they were derived from that past. Therefore, the uncreated created.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

601. BIRDUS' ARGUMENT FROM ONE MORE ARGUMENT, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM FUTURE EVIDENCE (II)
(1) If you made a thousand arguments for the nonexistence of God, how would you know that you have eliminated all possibilities?
(2) There may be one more argument yet unthought of that proves the existence of God.
(3) As for me, I choose to believe in God and begin reasoning from there.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

602. BEHE'S ARGUMENT FROM IRREDUCIBLE COMPLEXITY a.k.a. GOD OF THE GAPS, a.k.a. DESIGN/TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT (XVII)
(1) Some structures and processes in living beings are too complex to have arisen through evolution.
(2) Only God could have created them.
(3) What Dover Trial?
(4) Therefore, God exists.

603. ARGUMENT FROM RISK AVERSION, a.k.a. PASCAL'S WAGER (IV)
(1) Some people said I’d suffer for eternity if I don’t believe in God.
(2) I don’t like risks, no matter how minute.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

604. BILL O'REILLY'S ARGUMENT (II)
(1) O'Reilly: "Evolution has never been proven."
(2) Atheist: "Actually it has. Species have been seen to -- "
(3) "CUT HIS MIKE!!!"
(4) Therefore, God exists.

605. TROLL'S ARGUMENT FROM "NOT A GAY" a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM HOMOSEXUALITY (III)
(1) I don't like that you're gay.
(2) You are changed to not a gay.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

606. CATHOLIC FORUM'S ARGUMENT FROM SUICIDE
(1) Atheists are more likely to commit suicide than believers.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

607. ARGUMENT FROM OLD MAN WITH WHITE BEARD
(1) You seem to think we still believe in an old man with a white beard living in the sky.
(2) We don't.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

608. ARGUMENT FROM DIXIELAND ARROGANCE
(1) Southerners claim to be Southern by the grace of God.
(2) One cannot be Southern by the grace of nothing.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

609. ARGUMENT FROM LITTLE BABIES (III)
(1) "Out of the mouths of babes..."
(2) My child said she loves God, just like I taught her to say.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

610. ARGUMENT FROM HOMOSEXUALITY (IV)
(1) I find homosexuality morally repugnant.
(2) God finds homosexuality morally repugnant.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

611. ARGUMENT FROM ECSTASY (II)
(1) Even atheists sometimes scream, "Oh God!" when having sex.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
(3) And, atheists are guilty of blasphemy.

612. ARGUMENT FROM CHANCE ENCOUNTER
(1) I just looked at my watch and it said 12:34:56.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

613. ARGUMENT FROM INCOHERENCE
(1) God cannot be seen, heard, felt.
(2) God can only be understood.
(3) Just UNDERSTAND, understood?
(4) Therefore, God exists

614. ARGUMENT FROM SAD CASE
(1) I’m lonely and my life’s a failure.
(2) God must really hate me.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

615. ARGUMENT FROM NECESSITY OF EVIL, PARAPHRASED FROM ST THOMAS AQUINAS
(1) In order for good to exist, evil must exist; for out of evil comes good.
(2) If evil did not exist, then good would not exist.
(3) If good did not exist, then God cannot exist.
(4) Good exists.
(5) Therefore, God exists.

616. ARGUMENT FROM LABELING, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM POPULARITY
(1) If you don't believe in God you're a geek. (Why do you think the URL is "godlessgeeks.com"?)
(2) Geeks are unpopular at school; no one cares about them.
(3) The popular kids believe in God.
(4) So should you, if you want to be popular.
(5) Therefore, God Exists.

617. ARGUMENT FROM PRAYER DENIED
(1) I needed a lot of money, so I prayed God to make me win the lottery and I bought a ticket.
(2) My ticket did not win and I lost the money I spent on it.
(3) God always listen to our prayers, but sometimes the answer is "No."
(4) Therefore, God exists.

618. ARGUMENT FROM UNTREATED CLINICAL DEPRESSION
(1) If it were not for my faith in God, my life would be so pathetic and meaningless there would be no reason to live anymore.
(2) You will feel bad if I kill myself.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

619. ARGUMENT FROM GREED AND APATHY
(1) Scientists say global warming is a very serious problem.
(2) Trying to solve global warming might cost me money or cause me inconvenience.
(3) Therefore, scientists are liars and global warming is not a very serious problem.
(4) Evolution was also thought up by scientists.
(5) Therefore, evolution is a lie.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

620. ARGUMENT FROM ILLOGICAL RATIONALISM, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM UNKNOWABLE, INEFFABLE, INCOMPREHENSIBLE, TRANSCENDENT, AND SUPERNATURAL
(1) God is beyond the limits of logic.
(2) Therefore you cannot use logic to disprove God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

621. ARGUMENT FROM RELATIONSHIP
(1) Religion can be totally corrupt.
(2) But Christianity isn’t a religion; it’s a relationship with Jesus.
(3) Since I have a relationship with Jesus, he must exist -- and so must his father.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

622. ARGUMENT FROM JOKE
(1) We laugh at a joke because we recognize some innate truth in it.
(2) We laugh at the existence of God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

623. ARGUMENT FROM DESTROYED EVIDENCE, BY NED FLANDERS
(1) Atheist: I have irrefutable proof that God doesn't exist.
(2) (Theist reads it and can't refute it. Burns it. Fails to see that Atheist has more than one copy of proof.)
(3) Therefore, God exists.

624. ARGUMENT FROM TIDES AND SUN, BY BILL O'REILLY
(1) The tides come in the tides go out.
(2) The sun go(es) up, the sun go(es) down.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

625. C.S. LEWIS' ARGUMENT FROM LOVE AND HUMAN KINDNESS
(1) Humans can love and be kind to each other.
(2) This doesn't make sense in the nasty world of survival of the fittest.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

626. FRANCIS COLLINS' ARGUMENT FROM FROZEN WATERFALLS
(1) Look at those frozen waterfalls.
(2) There are three of them, just like the trinity.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

627. FRANCIS COLLINS' ARGUMENT FROM DNA
(1) DNA is very complex, like a code or language.
(2) It must be the language of God.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

628. ARGUMENT FROM EGOTISM
(1) The creator of the universe cares about ME, my thoughts, and even my sex life.
(2) He responds to my prayers.
(3) He hates all the same people I do.
(4) His orders are always to do what I would have done anyway.
(5) Everyone who disagrees with me will spend an eternity in Hell.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

629. ARGUMENT FROM TERMINOLOGY, a.k.a. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (IV)
(1) There are hundreds of proofs of God's existence.
(2) When you call something a 'proof' that means you have shown the result to be true.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

630. ARGUMENT FROM MULTIPLICITY (V) (recursive internet edition)
(1) There exists a web page (http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm)
(2) That page has hundreds of purported proofs of the existence of God.
(3) They can't all be wrong.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

Ergo:

666. ARGUMENT FROM ASSUMPTION
(1) God exists.
(2) Therefore, God exists.
[700x525]