The moods of Lord Jagannatha’s Chariot Festival are very, very mysterious. It seems from an external point of view that Krsna simply instructed Srimati Radhika and the gopis, "You should chant, remember, and meditate on Me. Then you can realize My lotus feet in your heart, and by that meditation you will come out of the well of worldly attachment." It also seems that the gopis appreciated this instruction and simply replied, "You have given us good instruction. From now on we will meditate on You and remember You, and then we will be able to come out of the well of worldly life and give up all kinds of attachments."

However, as I have already explained, the actual mood of the gopis is quite different. Externally their words seem to have a particular meaning, but Srila Krsnadasa Kaviraja has revealed their inner purport. He heard this meaning from Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, who had understood everything from Srila Svarupa Damodara and Srila Rupa Gosvami, and had noted it all down. Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami’s explanation therefore follows the words of Svarupa Damodara, and especially those of Rupa Gosvami.

Although the gopis are not satisfied at all by Krsna’s instruction, their anger is also a tie of love and affection – a crooked tie. The gopis are actually saying, "You’ve just told us to meditate, and You previously sent Uddhava and Baladeva Prabhu, who also delivered Your message: ‘Meditate on
Me.
’ You must be joking! Where is our attachment to this world? Where is our family attachment? We’ve never had any. ‘Who am I?’ ‘Where am I?’ We have forgotten these things. We have completely forgotten everything, including all of our senses. Where has our attachment gone? To You! We are always remembering You when You were in Vrndavana. We remember how we sometimes played together at Radha-kunda and Syama-kunda, and sometimes under Bhandiravata, or in Nandagaon, and how we sometimes used to meet together at Tera-kadamba as well. How glorious it was!"

In those days, Srimati Radhika used to go from Yavata to Yasoda-bhavana with all Her sakhis, headed by Lalita and Visakha, to cook for Krsna. Meanwhile, Krsna was milking His cows midway, at Tera-kadamba. As Radhika walked with Her sakhis, Lalita said, "We should change our direction and go by that other path. This cheater has blocked our way. He’s only milking His cows here because He knows that we will come this way. Better that we change paths." Radhika replied, "Oh, why fear? We will not change our course. Let us see what happens." As She continued walking, Krsna began milking a cow in such a way that Her whole face was splashed with milk, and everyone began to laugh. The gopis always remembered all these pastimes. There were so many pastimes that Krsna Himself would not be able to describe them all, even if He were to have thousands and thousands of mouths.

Now the gopis say, "We only remember those pastimes! We already feel so much separation from You, and now You are telling us, ‘You should meditate on My lotus feet.’ We’re not happy with this instruction. We’re not like the four Kumaras. Grandfather Bhisma and Narada can meditate on You, but we want to forget You altogether! We don’t want to think about You, because You are very cruel and ungrateful."

Krsna wanted to hear all this. He held His head down in shame and enjoyed thinking, "All the gopis are blaming Me."
The gopis continue, "Previously, when we were in Vrndavana, You told us, ‘I am coming back tomorrow. If not, then surely I will come the day after tomorrow.’ But You never came! You never returned! You told Uddhava, ‘Tell them that I am coming right away. I am coming after only four days.’ After that Baladeva came to Vraja, and He said on Your behalf, ‘Oh, don’t be worried. Krsna is coming very soon.’ But You never came."

nahe gopi yogesvara, pada-kamala tomara,
dhyana kari’ paibe santosa
tomara vakya-paripati, tara madhye kutinati,
suni’ gopira aro badhe
rosa

Sri Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya-lila 13.141)

["In the mood of Srimati Radhika, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said: 'The gopis are not like the mystic yogis. They will never be satisfied simply by meditating on Your lotus feet and imitating the so-called yogis. Teaching the gopis about meditation is another kind of duplicity. When they are instructed to undergo mystic yoga practice, they are not at all satisfied. On the contrary, they become more and more angry with You.'"]
"We don’t like Your mode of expression.
Tara
madhye kutinati. There are so many things that are not good about it. Kutinati. Ku-ti-na-ti. You are telling so many kuti, things that are not good, and nati, things that are not favorable. You say, ‘You should try to meditate on Me and remember
Me.
’ But You know that since our childhood we were never able to forget You for even a moment."

This is pure love, without desire for any gain. The gopis continue, "You speak to us as if we are unintelligent, and that makes us angry."

deha-smrti nahi yara, samsara-kupa kahan tara,
taha haite na cahe uddhara
viraha-samudra-jale, kama-timingile gile,
gopi-gane neha’
tara
para
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya-lila 13.142)

["Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu continued: 'The gopis have fallen in the great ocean of separation, and they are being devoured by the timingila fish, which represent the ambition to serve You. The gopis are to be delivered from the mouths of these timingila fish, for they are pure devotees. Since they have no material conception of life, why should they aspire for liberation? The gopis do not want that liberation desired by yogis and jnanis, for they are already liberated from the ocean of material existence.'"]

The gopis continue, "You speak about a well of material life (samsara-kupa), but where are we? We are in an endless, bottomless ocean of separation. And what is going on in that ocean? There are whales, and there are also fish called timingila fish, which are so huge that they can even swallow those whales."

vrndavana, govardhana, yamuna-pulina, vana,
sei kunje rasadika lila
sei vrajera vraja-jana, mata, pita, bandhu-gana,
bada citra, kemane pasarila
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya-lila 13.143)

["It is amazing that You have forgotten the

land
of
Vrndavana

. And how is it that You have forgotten Your father, mother, and friends? How have You forgotten Govardhana Hill, the bank of the Yamuna, and the forest where You enjoyed the rasa dance?"]

vidagdha, mrdu, sad-guna, susila, snigdha, karuna,
tumi, tomara nahi dosabhasa
tabe ye tomara mana, nahi smare vraja-jana,
se amara durdaiva-vilasa
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya-lila 13.144)

["Krsna, You are certainly a refined gentleman with all good qualities. You are well-behaved, soft-hearted, and merciful. I know that there is not even a tinge of fault to be found in You, yet Your mind does not even remember the inhabitants of Vrndavana. This is only My misfortune, and nothing else.

The gopis, and especially Srimati Radharani, continue to voice their apparent complaints, "Do you remember Vrndavana for even a moment? Do you remember Govardhana? In Vrndavana, we gopis were all assembled in rasa-lila. At that time, when we were tired and perspiring, You used to wipe our bodies with Your pitambara (upper yellow garment)."

Srimati Radharani tells Krsna, "You would ask me, ‘Are you tired?’ and then I would keep My hand on Your shoulder." She used to stand in a "crooked" way and look at Krsna with "crooked" sidelong glances. She leaned on Him with all Her weight, as if He were a pillar, and She looked at Him from the corners of Her eyes. When She leaned on Him in this way, He used to think, "Today, due to this pose of Radhika, My life is successful!"

"Do You remember this?" the gopis continue. "Do You remember that we defeated You in dice games? And Radhika used to defeat You in debate. Do You remember that we used to meet with You in each and every grove of Giriraja-Govardhana? Do you remember that we served You in so many ways at Radhakunda and Yamuna-pulina (the bank of the Yamuna)?"

Do you know the meaning of Yamuna-pulina? In his song Yasomati-nandana, Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura has written yamuna-tata-cara gopi-vasana-hara, rasa-rasika-krpamaya. Krsna would always come to the bank of the Yamuna, because He was very eager to meet the gopis, and He would think, "If I go there, surely the gopis will come to take water from the Yamuna with their very big pots. Why will they come? Because they have promised, and I have also promised." That place on the bank of the Yamuna is called panaghata, the place where Krsna could easily meet with the gopis.[See Endnote 3] Because all the gopis came there, Krsna also came. Everyone else thought that the gopis were going to fetch water, but when they dipped their pots into the Yamuna, they never noticed whether the pots were filled with water or not. They only knew that their pots were filled with love and affection for Krsna. They used to tell Him, "We cannot put these pots on our heads. Can You help us? " It was only for that kind of exchange that Krsna would go there. He would lift their pots and proudly think, "I am helping them."

Pastimes at Manasi-ganga

Srimati Radhika now asks Krsna, "Do You remember all these pastimes on the banks of the Yamuna? Do You remember what kind of pastimes we used to perform at Manasi-ganga? We always remember this! Do You remember Sanketa-kunja?" Sanketa is halfway between Varsana and Nandagaon. "Do You remember Sanketa? When I was on the swing with You, You pushed the swing so high that our garments flew here and there. I was afraid, and I embraced You and called out, ‘Save me! Save me!’ And You were easily satisfied by that. Do you remember?" As Krsna heard all this, He was ashamed and held His head down.

By mood, the gopis tell Krsna, "It is very tragic. How could You have forgotten all Your sakhas like Dama, Sridama, Subala, Madhumangala, Kokila, Kinkini, Vasanta, and all others? How could You forget Your father and mother and all Your friends? It is quite astonishing that You could forget them all. You are very ungrateful, and Your heart is harder than a thunderbolt!"

While Srimati Radhika and the gopis were thinking this, they were in a particular type of very angry mood, but now their mood suddenly changes. Their various moods are called bhavaudaya, bhava-sandhi, bhava-sabalya, and bhava-santi.4 Anyone who has not studied Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu, and what to speak of Ujjvala-nilamani, will not be able to taste these moods in thousands of lifetimes. One cannot know all these truths if he has not taken the sanga of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s associates. He is bound to remain in the chain of birth and death, sorrow and suffering. I have come to give this message of Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Srila Rupa Gosvami, and our entire guru-parampara.

The gopis continue to accuse Krsna in various angry and mixed moods. Suppose there is an ugly person who is very black and unqualified, and his teeth stick out of his mouth. Someone may say to him, "How handsome you are! Your teeth are more beautiful than if they were made of gold, and the whole world is charmed by your smile! You are so qualified!" What is this? It is sarcasm or parihasa, a joke. Similarly, the gopis’ words appear to mean, "You are very rasika – very, very rasika! You are also very sweet, and not at all cruel. You have all good qualities. Your tongue never speaks any lies; it can never do so. And Your hands are always controlled; they cannot do anything wrong." But what do the gopis really mean? They are actually taunting Krsna, and telling Him, "Your tongue is always controlled. How is it controlled? It has kissed millions of gopis, and now perhaps it is satisfied. Your hands and feet are always going towards the gopis, searching for them. You have touched the gopis, and that is why Your tongue has become pure, You Yourself have become pure, and everything about You has become pure."

The gopis continue with words that cover their actual mood, and they tell Krsna, "You are very sweet and You have such a good character! You are very soft and mild, and You are also very merciful. All of these qualities are in You. But we are very unfortunate. Even though You are so qualified, sweet, soft, and merciful, You have left us, and this is our misfortune. We must have done something wrong, either in our past lives or in this life, and that is why You have left us."

Nanda Baba has also spoken in this way. When he returned home after leaving Krsna and Balarama in
Mathura
, he was weeping bitterly. "There was only one true father," he said, "and that was Dasaratha Maharaja. He could not survive in separation from Rama. He called out, ‘Ha Rama! Ha Ra...!’ and left his body. I cannot do this! My heart is very cruel, and it is harder than a thunderbolt. Why could I not die? I wanted to die, but I could not. Krsna is very qualified in every way. He is sweet and mild, and He has all good qualities. He must have decided, ‘My mother and father, Yasoda and Nanda Baba, are not qualified, and neither are all the other Vrajavasis. They cannot give Me the love and affection I want,’ and that is why He left us and went where He would receive more love and affection." Speaking thus, Nanda Baba fainted.

In the same way, the gopis are telling Krsna, "We are most unfortunate because You don’t remember any of us. We know that we have no familial relationship with You, because we are not married to You. That is why a man can give up a lady, even if there is some love between them. On the other hand, if they are married, he will give his whole mood of love to her. We were not married, and that is why You could give us up so easily.

"But how could You give up Your mother and father, and especially Your mother? Your body is made of Your mother, so how could You forget her? Even if You can give her up, Your body will always tell You, ‘I am the son of Mother Yasoda’ because You are made from her blood and everything else. It is very strange that You have left everyone.

"Do You know that because of You the birds are no longer singing? The cuckoo birds have stopped singing and now they only weep. The peacocks do not dance now; they are very sad. The calves do not drink their mothers’ milk, and the cows are about to die. They no longer eat grass or anything else, and Mother Yasoda never cooks."

Hearing this, Krsna began to weep very loudly, and He was about to fall unconscious. There is a poem describing this, and it is very heart-rending.

tuhun se rahila madhupura
vrajakula akula, dukula kalarava,
kanu kanu kari jhura (1)

yasomati-nanda, andha sama baithai,
sahase uthai na para
sakha-gana dhenu, venu-rava na suniye,
vichurala nagara bajara (2)

kusuma tyajiya ali, ksiti-tale lutata,
taru-gana malina samana
mayuri na nacata, kapoti na bolata,
kokila na karatahi gana (3)

virahini rai, viraha-jvare jare jare,
caudike viraha hutasa
sahaje yamuna jala, agi samana bhela,
kahatahi govinda dasa (4)

In this kirtana, the Vaisnava poet Govinda dasa is singing in Radharani’s mood, "O Krsnacandra, now You live very far away in Madhupuri – in Mathura. But what is the condition of Vrndavana? All the Vrajavasis are feeling extreme pain and distress in separation from You. They call out, ‘Kanu, Kanu!’ But there is no answer, and only an echo is heard." Kanu is a nickname of Krsna. "Kanu, Kanu! O Kanu, where are You? Even the birds are calling, ‘Where are You? O Kanu, where are You?’ Everyone is weeping. O Yasomati-nandana, Yasoda-maiya and Nanda Baba are crying bitterly. It is as if they have become blind; they cannot see anymore, and they only sit and cry. They have no strength, and they are hardly more than skeletons. They are about to die because they no longer cook anything. For whom will they cook? They do not even have enough strength in their bodies to stand up.

"And what is the condition of all Your cows and friends? They cannot hear You calling them with Your flute, so the marketplaces and the roads are all deserted. No one is there; no one at all. Not only that; previously, the bumblebees were very busy collecting honey, but now they are so upset that they have left the flowers, and even they are crying and rolling on the ground in the pain of separation. "

All the trees look drab and distressed. The peacocks no longer dance, and the pigeons no longer sing. The cuckoos are silent; they no longer call, ‘Kuhu, kuhu.’ All are feeling great pain in separation from You.


Radharani's feelings of separation

"Virahini rai, viraha-jvare jare jare. Srimati Radharani is burning and burning in the fever of separation. Everywhere, in all directions, everyone is sinking in the ocean of separation from You. Even the Yamuna does not flow anymore. This is the condition of Vrndavana! The water that is seen in the Yamuna is actually the tears that have fallen from the eyes of all the gopis. Tuhun se rahila madhupura. Why are you staying so far away in Mathura, when everyone in Vrndavana is on the verge of death?"

There is another song by Candidasa, also written in the mood of Srimati Radhika. The words of this song are heart-breaking, and it is unparalleled in any language of the world. You cannot hear these topics anywhere else:

sukhera lagiya, ei ghara bandhinu, agune pudiya gela
amiya sagare, sinana karite, sakali garala bhela (1)

sakhi! ki mora kapale lekhi
sitala baliya, canda sevinu, bhanura kirana dekhi (2)

ucala baliya, acale cadinu, padinu agadha-jale
lachami cahite, daridrya bedhala, manika haranu hele (3)

nagara basalama, sagara bandhilama, manika pabara ase
sagara sukala, manika lukala, abhagi-karama-dose (4)

piyasa lagiya, jalada sevinu, bajara padiya gela
kahe candidasa, syamera piriti, marame rahala sela (5)

"I built a house in order to be very happy there, but that house was suddenly burned in a fire. I wanted to take bath in the ocean of nectar in order to make My heart very cool, but instead it was crushed and burned. I wanted to go to the ocean to bathe and to make My heart soft, but I saw that all the water was gone. There was no water left at all. Then I looked toward the moon so that some of its cooling rays would come upon Me, but it turned out that those were not the cool rays of the moon; instead, the blazing hot rays of the sun came and scorched Me.

"I thought I was in a very high place where there was no water, but instead I see that I’ve fallen into an endless ocean of water. I wanted wealth, but I became penniless. A very valuable jewel came into My hand, and then suddenly it was gone.

"I built a city near the ocean, so that I could get a valuable jewel from that ocean. Then I made a dam, and I moved the ocean from one side of the dam to the other. However, when the ocean was finally drained, the jewel was nowhere to be seen. It was hidden somewhere, due to My misfortune. I looked towards the clouds to quench My thirst, but instead of rain, a thunderbolt came on My head.

"I loved Krsna in order to be happy, and I gave Him My body, mind, heart, soul, and everything, but He left Me. The fire of separation enveloped Me and I was burned. Krsna’s love is endless like the ocean, and I wanted to take bath in that ocean; but what happened? The water dried up and in its place was a great conflagration. Everything burned in separation. What should I do?" Krsna would not be able to survive if He were to hear all these heart-breaking words.

These feelings of Srimati Radhika are the mood at Ratha-yatra, and this is Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s mood at that time. He experiences all the sentiments of Radhika, and no one can explain Her moods without the help of His bhavas. His moods have been passed on through Sri Svarupa Damodara to Srila Rupa Gosvami and Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, who have expressed them in their own writings. Try to realize all these truths

Who went to Kuruksetra?

This subject matter is very extraordinary. It is not less in depth and significance than Ramananda-samvada (Mahaprabhu’s conversation with Raya Ramananda as found in Sri Caitanyacaritamrta); in fact, it is even deeper. Krsna has promised, "I will never, never give up Vrndavana; I will always be there." Radhika has also promised, "Krsna may go, but I cannot leave Vrndavana." Then who went to Kuruksetra? There are innumerable manifestations of Krsna, and so many of Radhika as well, and this is very wondrous. Krsna can be thousands and thousands of Krsnas at the same time. Yet, there can be millions more manifestations of Radhika than there are of Krsna (as She displayed during rasa-lila). She is very expert.

Radhika and Krsna eternally play with Their gopi associates in Vrndavana, where Radhika is called Vrsabhanu-nandini Radhika. She never leaves Vrndavana, and She hardly ever laments. So who was lamenting in Nandagaon when Uddhava went there? Radhika is always with Krsna, so how did this separation come about?

Who went to Mathura and Dvaraka? Krsna’s manifestations went. Similarly, who was weeping bitterly with all Her sakhis in Nandagaon? It was Viyogini-Radha. She was the one whom Uddhava met, who was feeling intense separation, and who recited Bhramara-gita, which is one of the jewels of Srimad- Bhagavatam.

Who went to Kuruksetra? It was Vrsabhanu-nandini Radhika, but in Her manifestation as Samyogini-Radhika. She is the same Radha, but as a manifestation. She went to Kuruksetra, and there She attracted Krsna to return to Vrndavana.

Even Krsna cannot know

Tad viddhi pranipatena pariprasnena sevaya (Bhagavad-gita (4.34)). Everything is reconciled when you approach a realized spiritual master, inquire from him submissively, and serve him. This process will enable you to realize everything automatically. Your mental speculation alone will not suffice. You may be a learned person, but your learning will not help you; instead, it will betray you.

I have been explaining the moods of the gopis at Kuruksetra, and Krsna’s statements to them. You can also study this subject matter yourselves, but only a rare person can go into it very deeply. It is stated in Radha-rasa-sudha-nidhi (4):

yo brahma-rudra-suka-narada-bhisma-mukhyair
alaksito na sahasa purusasya tasya
sadyo vasi-karana-curnam ananta-saktim
tam radhika-carana-renum anusmarami

Brahma, Rudra (Sankara), Bhisma, Narada, and others like them are very advanced jnani-bhaktas. They are all atmarama and aptakama (fully satisfied internally and externally, respectively), yet even they can only rarely have darsana of Krsna, and what to speak of having darsana of Radhika. The demigods came during Krsna’s rasa-lila, but they only saw Krsna dancing and singing; they did not see the gopis. On the other hand, their wives saw Krsna with the gopis and fainted. The author of this prayer, Sri Prabodhananda Sarasvati, says that if Krsna knows that someone has on his head a minute dust-particle from Srimati Radhika’s lotus feet, He will wholly and solely give Himself to that devotee.

Devotees like Brahma, Rudra, Suka, Narada, Bhisma, and the four Kumaras – Sanaka, Sanandana, Sanatana, and Sanat1 kumara – are all very elevated, and they are prominent among the twelve mahajanas. Yet they cannot control Krsna. On the other hand, curnam ananta-saktim: the dust of Radhika’s lotus feet is so powerful that it can control Krsna very easily. Krsna may be happy and satisfied with the love and affection He receives from these other devotees, but in comparison to the gopis, they cannot control Him in the slightest degree.

If one wants to control Krsna, he must search for Srimati Radhika’s foot-dust – even a single particle of that foot-dust – and try to collect it. In other words, he must accept the guidance of Sri Rupa Gosvami, Sri Sanatana Gosvami, and Sri Raghunatha dasa Gosvami, who are Rupa Manjari, Lavanga Manjari, and Rati Manjari in Radha and Krsna’s pastimes. Krsna will be controlled at once if He knows, "These are the maidservants of Radhika," but no one can control Him otherwise. Try to become a particle of dust of Radhika’s lotus feet.

When Brahma went to Vrndavana and saw Krsna’s pastimes, he personally prayed:

naumidya te ’bhra-vapuse tadid-ambaraya gunjavatamsa-paripiccha-lasan-mukhaya
vanya-sraje kavala-vetra-visana-venulaksma-
sriye mrdu-pade pasupangajaya
Srimad-Bhagavatam (10.14.1)

["My dear Lord, You are the only worshipable Lord, the Supreme Personality of Godhead, and therefore I offer my humble obeisances and prayers just to please You. O son of the King of the cowherds, Your transcendental body is dark blue like a fresh cloud, Your garment is brilliant like lightning, and the beauty of Your face is enhanced by Your gunja earrings and the peacock feather on Your head. Wearing garlands of various forest flowers and leaves, and equipped with a herding stick, a buffalo horn, and a flute, You stand beautifully with a morsel of food in Your hand."]

Sri Sukadeva Gosvami is also an extremely elevated devotee, and in Radha-Krsna’s pastimes he is a special parrot belonging to Srimati Radhika. He always sits on Her hand, and She caresses him, feeds him pomegranate seeds, and teaches him to chant, "Krsna, Krsna," "Govinda," "Vrajanatha," and "Prananatha." Suka always remains in the association of Radha and Krsna, and he may even be there to awaken Them during Their pre-dawn pastimes of nisanta-lila. That Suka became Sukadeva Gosvami, and yet Sri Prabodhananda Sarasvati says that even Sukadeva Gosvami cannot control Krsna. He can serve Krsna, but only the members of Srimati Radhika’s party can fully control Him.

Sri Narada Rsi went to Gokula in Vrndavana and thought, "Krsna has just descended to this world, so Radhika must also be present somewhere." He went to Raval and discovered Her there. After that, he performed severe austerities at Naradakunda and became Naradi-gopi, but even Naradi-gopi cannot control Krsna.

Krsna Himself became a bumblebee and went to Nandagaon. There He took darsana of Radhika when She was in mahabhavadivyonmada, but He was still unable to understand the depth of Her mood. Three desires then manifested in His heart. He became intensely eager to relish the exalted state of Her pranaya (loving mood), Her appreciation of His sweetness, and the rapture in Her heart at that time. Krsna could never go deep enough to fully understand Radhika’s moods of madana- and modanamahabhava. Her highest mood of love, sva-samvedya-dasa,[See Endnote 4] never comes in Him, for He is the visaya, the object of love. It only comes in the asraya, the reservoir of love. That is why Krsna – in the form of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu – went to the bank of Godavari and was admitted into the school of Radhika’s personal secretary, Visakha, who was there in the form of Ramananda Raya. Mahaprabhu heard many instructions there. He learned about Radha’s moods, and then He went to Puri and realized those moods and relished them.

Srimati Radhika’s sakhis, who are Her party members, can understand and realize Her moods to some extent – more so than Krsna. Krsna is akhila-rasamrta-sindhu, the object of love, but He is not the container of love. The container or reservoir is the asraya-bhakta.

It has been explained in the above verse from Radha-rasasudha- nidhi (yo brahma-rudra-suka-narada) that neither the four Kumaras, nor Narada as a gopi, nor even Sukadeva Gosvami as Radhika’s parrot can fully control Krsna. Even Uddhava could not realize the moods of the gopis, although he went to Vrndavana and had their association there. That is why he prayed:

vande nanda-vraja-strinam
pada-renum abhiksnasah
yasam hari-kathodgitam
punati bhuvana-trayam
Srimad-Bhagavatam (10.47.63)

"[I repeatedly offer my respects to the dust from the feet of the women of Nanda Maharaja’s cowherd village. When these gopis loudly chant the glories of Sri Krsna, the vibration purifies the three worlds."]

Be very humble, and hollow like a flute, and then go to Srimad-Bhagavatam and Sri Caitanya-caritamrta and pray. Then you will very easily realize something. You will realize that the gopis’ moods are the most elevated.

caitanya-gosanira lila – ananta, apara
‘sahasra-vadana’ yara nahi paya para
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya-lila 14.256)

["The pastimes of Caitanya Mahaprabhu are unlimited and endless. Even Sahasra-vadana, Lord Sesa, cannot reach the limits of His pastimes."]

Krsnadasa Kaviraja Gosvami has explained here that Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s pastimes are unlimited, endless, and unfathomable, and even Ananta-sesa Baladeva Prabhu cannot explain them all with His unlimited mouths, even in unlimited time. How deep these pastimes are! Even Krsna cannot know their depth, although He is an ocean of rasa. Yet, one can easily know something of their depth by taking shelter at the feet of Srila Rupa Gosvami and Srila Raghunatha dasa Gosvami.

sri-rupa-raghunatha-pade yara asa
caitanya-caritamrta kahe krsnadasa
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya-lila 14.257)

["Praying at the lotus feet of Sri Rupa and Sri Raghunatha, always desiring their mercy, I, Krsnadasa, narrate Sri Caitanyacaritamrta, following in their footsteps."]

Krsna’s reply

You will be successful in your spiritual life if you develop positive understanding and moods. It will not be enough just to think, "Not this, not this, not this." Absorption in the positive must be accompanied by negation of the negative; otherwise you cannot advance. This is true; but still, absorption in negation will not help you very much. If one wants to advance in bhakti, he should try to understand these topics.

The gopis tell Krsna, "We cannot live without You. We cannot maintain our lives without You. It will be better if You come to Vrndavana, and that Vrndavana is non-different from our hearts. If You don’t come, You will see Vrndavana become completely lifeless. Everyone and everything there will die."

suniya radhika-vani, vraja-prema mane ani,
bhave vyakulita deha-mana
vraja-lokera prema suni’, apanake ‘rni’ mani’,
kare krsna tanre asvasana
Sri Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya-lila 13.148)