i dont blame you for anything. i loved you. i dont seek for consolation. im just sick of being suspended. im sick of bothering you with my feelings. you dont miss me. you can do without me. you dont need me.
im just sick of hesitating. i told you my dream. it showed all my fears. and still you dont seem to get what i feel. im just going crazy. this dream shows it all. i dont like it. it hurts. and even after this dream. you dont care. what should i say more?
you easily choose your friends over me. its ok. you live your life, go on beaches, cinemas, parties with your friends. its fine, what use in some guy, who is so far away. its ok, i understand you. really, its only natural. i can do nothing with your feelings. im not an interesting man to spend time with, i know. maybe if i had some friends i would do the same. but im all alone. you were everything i had.
you said you didnt have money. but you had them. at least you could write me something other way. you dont feel sorry, cause you dont need me and you didnt need me yesterday. same as in previous days when you talked with me with your phone. and you dont miss me, cause i know what missing is. i missed you, i was going crazy. im just sick of bothering you.
and after what you did. you even havent explained anything. fuck. you dont need me. and this is the thing. should i tell you what i felt? do you need to know? will it change anything? the answer is no.
im sick of bothering you with my feelings. im sorry. im trying to reduce it. just understand that i dont have anybody, but you. be patient, im trying to stop bothering you. maybe if you could make an effort and tell me everything. i will stop sooner.
it hurts.