our life is so short. we are so insignificant. so i dont care about anything in this life, even about myself. i just wanted to be with somebody, who will be with me always. i know its a never never land to live happy all your life with a man and know no sorrow. people used to get tired of each other. and anyway i wanted to be with you all my life. to become a part of you. i think its beautiful. i dont want to be useful for the society, i dont want to make good to mankind or whatever. i thought it was so beautiful to be together. in spite of all. i didnt think the distance was too hard to overcome. im not stupid, you arent either. i didnt think we wouldnt be able to make money to live on, especially together. now you think im weird? well, i also think it looks so. you called me perfect. i never liked it actually. im not perfect. to be perfect is awful, i dont want it. you said i deserve the best, but i dont deserve you. theres something wrong, dont you think so?

you know, i hate loneliness. you are so happy that you have your friends. and a boyfriend now. i dont have anybody. im perfect, aint i? oh why should you care about me. about what i say now. im really too weird. i have never had sex. isnt it too weird? i have never kissed. fuck, you see, all people like me at first, but then see that im way too weird, nobody actually likes me. fuck, really why should you care now. you can go on without me. no. please.