i dont want your apologies. i just want to know what you feel. only the truth. and what had happened during that two weeks, from our last talk in April. and everything about your boyfriend.

i knew that maybe we were making a mistake, and that it might turn out very dangerous, loving each other so hard. but you convinced me in your love and that you wouldnt leave me. so i loved you. im not like others, i just cant be like others, i made myself in this way and i cant change it now. or maybe can, but i dont want, if im with you. i knew i can hurt you so many times and i didnt do some things that i could do, like fuck other girls and have fun with them. are you afraid of being not like others? of being alone, when everybody around fucks each other, getting drunk? you want to be the same? do you get fun of it? you will change love for this? change happiness of being with one man through your life? but you arent alone, you found me. tell me what can be better than love?

do you think that anybody wouldnt like to be with one man through all his life? maybe only stupid people wouldnt.

why i say that you change love? how can you change it if you dont love.

fuck.

the worst thing is that i cant fuck anybody, but you.
the worst thing is that when i see a girl i think of you.
the worst thing is that even if he is your first, i wont be able to reject you.