Have you ever wondered if there`s someone special, who can be near you no matter what?! Have you ever wondered..if there`s someone, who can feel you like noone else?!Have you ever wondered if there`s someone you can trully love?!..may be you have had..but I certainly had..almost every evening going to sleep..lying in my bed..I`ve imagined that SOMEONE..I tried to imagine guys I know, loving somebody..it was kind of fairy-tale, you know..In my mind everything could happen..I could imagine myself being queen of all the world or being wealthy woman or even being mother..or just imagining how it is to be loved..it seemed to me, that being loved is something like standing in front of the sea (not calm one)..listening to sound of wind and waves..feeling sunbeams on the face..and smiling..and being a part of this landscape..and all this filles body with feeling of flight, you know..with fealing of peace..and still I wonder..if I, who have never loved, have rights to describe love..to imagine it?!but..everyone can imagine everything their soul and mind wants to..so, I`ve imagined everything..but I was wrong..completely wrong..I never could imagine feeling something (not love..smth other) to someone, who I`ve never known before..to someone I just have no rights and permission..to someone, who is far away from me..I`ve never even thought about the situation I got in..I`ve never even thought about feeling this SOMETHING to a guy I know only 10 days..and now..after 10 days of communicating with him..10 days of complete understanding..and after 4 days non-stop crying and knowing, that this SOMEONE feels almost the same..and after a week trying to get over this..I still can`t stop feeling, that if he wasn`t so far away..if he lived somewhere at least in Latvia..if we could see each other once a week..we would become good friends..at least good friends..we have talked about it with him..and he agreed at this point, telling, that it`s rarely, that 2 people, who didn`t know each other before, in 10 days get so connected..the same humour..some kind of vibe between them..yeah, and this 2 people could get „good friends”..it seems to me, that we defined it like this not because noone of us thought about dating and all the stuff..but because of notbeing sure that we both think and feel like this..or may be no to hurt ourselves..`cause 20 hours of driving in a bus isn`t such a small problem..the thing that keeps me from tears is that in August..in just 3 months we will meet..we certainly will..otherwise we won`t ever meet again, but that`s not the thing we both would like to happen..and also..almost each evening of writing in skype about the stuff we did during this 10 days and sometimes even serious themes like dreams or future..all this means that we enjoy each other`s company..and, you know..noone knows what will happen in August..we can only imagine stuff like this..and as I have already said..in my imagination..EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE..

                                                                                                                                                      01.05.2007