reality behind bars,,,
lying low,,, slowly vanishing...
the world around me crumbles and im lost somewhere
cant seem to catch myself,,,
its like everything has shattered in a million peices and things that made so much sense before have disappeared
i sit i stare and im lost,,, i aint got a reason to move anywhere,,,
im beyond all that,,, at least i thought i was,,,,
the walls have been closin on me, i suffocated ,,
i cheated ,,, i lied,,, and i put out the light,,, i made them unreal,,,
so that they wont be able to tell,,,
ive killed with my own hands the last thing that i had,,,
and now what,,, turn my eyes inside close the lids, deny the world to enter,,,
i have destroyed myself bit by bit,,, built walla all thoughout my mind
forgotten who i was,,, why i was,,, lost the will and reason to fight....
who am i? why am i here?
id be much better off if i was hurting... cuz then id know what it is...
today i was thinking,,, why do we do the things we do?
like the good things mainly really
why would u wanna help an old granny cross the street?
what do u feel? why do u care?
she struggles to lift her bags,,, whats in that for u? why does it break ur heart?
why do u pass by unnoticed?
so there must be some good in us humans,,, if we have irrational feelings of humanity?
why is betrayal wrong?
what do u care if someone else is hurting?
then again back to the selfish theory,,,
u feel better urself when u do someone else good,,, and thats why u do it ,,, to feel good
i want the clock to stop and take me back a few years,,, to correct things,,, modify them
would i still be here?
would i have a reason?
i cannot define this,, im lost,,, in my own little fear...
do i want it? do i need it? would it make me feel better?
would it last?
i can define it,,, but its a momentary explanation,,,
after that there will be more, and more, excuses for feeling shit
for being shit,,,
waiting for the day to end,,, a silence came too late,,,