я не могу,
я больше не могу...
мне плохо... мне больно...
im not good enough, not good enough for the ones that i love
i cant do so many things, i cant i just cant bring myself to achieve them,,,
im ashamed of myself
i hate myself i despise me
im wrong, im always on the wrong,,,
and im torn in this feeling that i cant ask for help cuz itll upst u even more
cuz id be more useless than i already am
he left on a holiday and he didnt eventell me
nevermind that he hasnt called in ages,,,
like i stopped existing AGAIN
it stings,,, like i walked all the way up the mountin and now i feel back down there again,,,
i wanna cry,,, like that day when he walked in and just set there by my bed and said i love u,,, and i wanted to cry,,,
and its so stupid he called and asked to bring him the thing, and i told himt o fuck off like me usual me, and he came and he just set there and he showed emotions ,,, emotions that neither me nor him were able to show for years
now im back where i started,,,
i cant i cant do this,,, it stings ,,, cuz i pretended to be asleep and really i wanted to hug him, i cant rememember the last time i hugged him,,,
i cant remember the last time i was able to do that...