За эти фразы я и люблю этого автора)

 

1. 'Two . . . and one more . . .'
'So two and one more is . . . ?'
Detritus looked panicky. This was calculus territory.
("Men at arms")

2. Interestingly enough, the gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that's where they deserve to go. Which they won't do if they don't know about it. This explains why it is important to shoot missionaries on sight. ("Eric")

3. Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind. ("Eric")

4. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it's just a cage. ("Witches Abroad")

5. When you break rules, break 'em good and hard. ("Wyrd sisters")

6. The Creator had a lot of remarkably good ideas when he put the world together, but making it understandable hadn't been one of them. ("Mort")

7. The Patrician of Ankh-Morpork sat back on his austere chair with the sudden bright smile of a very busy person at the end of a crowded day who's suddenly found in his schedule a reminder saying: 7.00-7.05, Be Cheerful and Relaxed and a People Person. ("Men at arms")

8. Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
Elves are terrific. They beget terror. ("Lords and Ladies")

Эльфы чудесны. Они творят чудеса.
Эльфы удивительны. Они вызывают удивление.
Эльфы фантастичны. Они создают фантазии.
Эльфы очаровательны. Они очаровывают.
Эльфы обворожительны. Они завораживают.
Эльфы ужасны. Они порождают ужас. ("Дамы и Господа")

10. Always get the young man's name and address. ("Witches abroad")

11. Never get between two mirrors. ("Witches abroad")

12. 'You haven't changed a bit, Esme'.
'Nor have you, then. You're still a rotten liar, Mustrum Ridcully. ("Lords and Ladies")

- Ты совсем не изменилась, Эсме.
- Ты тоже, Наверн Чудакулли. Всё такой же неисправимый врун. ("Дамы и Господа")

13. I've only got to give an order and a thousand wizards will... uh ... disobey, come to think of it, or say 'What?' or start to argue. ("Lords and Ladies")

14. Wasps looked pretty enough. But if you were for bees, you had to be against wasps. ("Lords and Ladies")

15. Chain-mail isn't much defense against an arrow. It certainly isn't when the arrow is being aimed between your eyes. ("Lords and Ladies")

16. 'What could you manage then, do you think?'
'I suppose I could go down to the shops and get a packet of mints, or something'. ("Eric")

17. 'Anyway, demons always lie. Well-known fact'.
' It is? In that case, then - I am a demon'. ("Eric")

18. 'Bursar?'
'Yes, Archchancellor?'
'You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?'
'Me? No, Archchancellor.'
'Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.' ("Lords and Ladies")

- Казначей?
- Да, аркканцлер?
- Ты что, в тайное общество какое вступил?
- Я? Конечно нет, аркканцлер.
- Тогда сними с головы подштанники. Тебе не идет. ("Дамы и Господа")

19. Most gods are created and sustained by belief and hope. ("Lords and Ladies")

*Большинство богов созданы и существуют только благодаря вере и надежде. ("Дамы и Господа")

20. … people didn't seem to be able to remember what it was like with the elves around. Life was certainly more interesting then, but usually because it was shorter. And it was more colorful, if you liked the color of blood. ("Lords and Ladies")

21. We only remembers that the elves sang. We forgets what it was they were singing about. ("Lords and Ladies")

22. Troll, a life form on silicon rather than carbon, can't in fact digest people. But there's always someone ready to give it a try. ("Lords and Ladies")

23. 'Good grief. Old Sobriety's son? How is the old devil?'.
'Dunno, sir, what with him being dead'. ("Lords and Ladies")

*- Ничего себе. Сын старика Твереза! И как поживает старый хрыч?
- Ничего о нем не слышал с тех самых пор, как он умер, сэр. («Дамы и Господа»)

24. Nanny Ogg appreciated fine wine in her very own way. It would never have occurred to Casanunda that anyone would top up white wine with port merely because she'd reached the end of the bottle. ("Lords and Ladies")

Нянюшка Ягг по-своему ценила хорошие вина. Казанунда и представить себе не мог, что белое вино можно запивать портвейном только потому, что оно закончилось. ("Дамы и Господа")

25. You can't trust any bugger further than you can throw him, and there's nothing you can do about it, so let's have a drink. ("Small gods")

26. It's always darkest before dawn. ("Small gods")

27. It's a wise crow that knows which way the camel points. ("Small gods")

28. Does a Falling Tree in the Forest Make a Sound if There's No one There to Hear It? ("Small gods")

29. 'What's a philosopher?'
'Someone who's bright enough to find a job with no heavy lifting'. ("Small gods")

- А кто такой философ?
- Тот, у кого хватило ума подыскать себе непыльную работенку, не связанную с подъемом тяжестей. ("Мелкие боги")

30. You know, I used to think I was stupid, and then I met philosophers. ("Small gods")

31. Never trust a species that grins all the time. It's up to something. ("Pyramids")

Никогда не доверяйте существам, которые постоянно презрительно усмехаются. За этим всегда что-то стоит. ("Пирамиды")

32. 'You stay here. I'll whistle if it's safe to follow me'.
'What will you do if it isn't safe?'
'Scream'.
("Pyramids")

33. It was a great comfort knowing that the gods were there. It was knowing they were here that was the terrible part. ("Pyramids")

Как хорошо и спокойно знать, что боги есть. И как страшно понять, что они уже здесь. ("Пирамиды")

34. You can't mess with geometry, friend. Pyramids? Dangerous things. Asking for trouble. ("Pyramids")
 

36. Like a conjurer keeping eighteen plates spinning at the same time - like a man trying to programme a video recorder from an instruction manual translated from Japanese into Dutch by a Korean rice-husker - like, in fact, a man finding out what total self-control really means, Windle Poons lurched onwards. ("Reaper Man")

Подобно жонглёру, вращающему восемнадцать тарелок одновременно, подобно человеку, пытающемуся запрограммировать видеомагнитофон по инструкции, переведённой с японского на голландский корейским сборщиком риса, - подобно человеку, впервые в жизни узнающему, что такое полный самоконтроль, Ветром Сдумс нетвёрдой походкой двинулся вперёд. ("Мрачный Жнец")

37. … trying to keeping down crime in Ankh-Morpork was like trying to keep down salt in the sea… ("Reaper Man")

Пробовать снизить уровень преступности в Анк-Морпорке - это всё равно что пытаться понизить уровень содержания соли в морской воде. ("Мрачный Жнец")

38. The Archchancellor was not the kind of man who takes a special pleasure in being brusque and rude to women. Or, to put it another way, he was brusque and rude to absolutely everyone, regardless of sex, which was equality of a sort. ("Reaper Man")

Аркканцлер был не из тех людей, кто получает удовольствие, обращаясь с женщинами бесцеремонно и грубо. Другими словами, он обращался бесцеремонно и грубо абсолютно со всеми, независимо от их пола, соблюдая, таким образом, равенство. ("Мрачный Жнец")

39. 'In my father's day, any Revenooer came around here prying around by himself, we used to tie weights to their feet and heave 'em into the pond.'
'BUT THE POND IS ONLY A FEW INCHES DEEP, MISS FLITWORTH.'
'Yeah, but it was fun watching 'em find out.' ("Reaper Man")

Когда ещё мой отец был жив, к ногам особенно назойливых налоговиков привязывали камень потяжелее и бросали их в пруд.
- НО, ГОСПОЖА ФЛИТВОРТ, ГЛУБИНА ПРУДА ВСЕГО НЕСКОЛЬКО ДЮЙМОВ.
- Да. Было очень смешно наблюдать, как они об этом узнавали. ("Мрачный Жнец")

40. 'All it's doing is moving around slowly and eating things, ' said the Dean.
'Put a pointy hat on it and it'd be a faculty member,' said the Archchancellor.
("Reaper Man")

- Она просто медленно бродит вокруг и жрёт всё подряд, - ответил декан.
- Если надеть остроконеную шляпу, сойдёт за профессора Университета, - хмыкнул аркканцлер. ("Мрачный Жнец")

41. They were suckers for anything written down with more than one exclamation mark after it. ("Reaper Man")

При виде надписи с тремя восклицательными знаками не устоял бы ни один житель Анк-Морпорка. ("Мрачный Жнец")

42. 'Dean, why have you got stripes all over your face?' he enquired.
'Camouflage, Archchancellor.' ("Reaper Man")

43. 'The Senior Wrangler is an amazingly fine example,' said Ridcully. 'Got the same urgent grasp of reality as a cardboard cut - out. ("Reaper Man")

- ... Вот превосходный пример настоящего волшебника, - ответил Чудакулли. - Имеет такую же твёрдую связь с реальностью, как мясная вырезка из картона. ("Мрачный Жнец")

44. Mrs. Cake always assumed that an invitation to Ludmilla was an invitation to Ludmilla's mother as well. Mothers like her exist everywhere, and apparently nothing can be done about them. ("Reaper Man")
 

45. … partly because it was a lot easier to be an expert on chaos, but mostly because it made really good patterns that you could put on a t-shirt. ("Witches abroad")

...во-первых, быть специалистом по Хаосу куда легче, а во-вторых, в хаосе время от времени встречаются по-настоящему классные узоры, которые здорово смотрятся на футболках. ("Ведьмы за границей")

46. People whose wishes get granted often don't turn out to be very nice people. So should you give them what they want - or what they need? Death nodded politely. From his point of view, people got what they were given. ("Witches abroad")

… коли все до единого желания исполнять, так люди от этого быстро портятся. Вот и ломай голову, что лучше дать - то, что им хочется, или то, что им действительно нужно. Смерть вежливо кивнул. Он с такой проблемой не сталкивался: его клиенты безропотно принимали то, что им дают. ("Ведьмы за границей")

47. Most witches don't believe in gods. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman. ("Witches abroad")

48. There's the basic unwritten rule of witchcraft, which is 'Don't do what you will, do what I say.' ("Witches abroad")

49. As Nanny Ogg would put it, when it's teatime in Genua it's Tuesday over here … ("Witches abroad")

Как выразилась бы нянюшка Ягг, когда в Орлее пьют чай, у нас всё ещё вторник ... ("Ведьмы за границей")