Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Women use silence to punish men.
But men love silence.

Women often use indirect speech: they hint at what they want or infer things.
Men use direct speech and take words literally.

A female brain is organised for multi-tracking. A woman can use the computer, talk on the phone, listen to a second conversation going on behind her and drink a cup of coffee all at the same time.
Men can only concentrate on one thing at time. They can't make love and answer questions on why they haven't taken out the rubbish at the same time.

Why it's great to be a man:
Motor mechanics tell you the truth.
Chocolate is just another snack.
People don't stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
Why it's great to be a woman:
You can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
Taxis stop for you.
You don't look like a frog in a blender when you dance.

A woman wants a man who is soft, caring, understanding and will communicate, but is also strong, rugged and masculine.
But she can't have him. He's already got a boyfriend.

Research shows that a woman's ultimate fantasy is having two men at once. One man is cooking; the other is cleaning.

As far as most men are concerned, no undernourished waif could ever become a real sex symbol.

A woman will lie to make you feel good. A man lies to make himself feel good.

Men will never understand woman and woman will never understand men. And that's the one thing that men and women will never understand.

from "The Little Book of Men & Women" by Allan & Barbara Pease