Liberal: "I believe what I believe because I'm smarter than you."

Conservative: "I believe what I believe because I'm more patriotic than you."

Libertarian: "I believe what I believe because I'm BOTH smarter AND more patriotic than you."

Communist: "I believe what I believe because I'm NOT as smart or as patriotic as you."

|:)

Это сообщение неотносится к лудям на моем списке постояних читателеи или друзей...

Как сказал один очень умный человек (непомню кто точно, помоему Мark Twain):

Stealing the work of one man is plagiarism, Stealing the work of many people is research...

Примерний перевод: "Когда воруеш идеи одново человека ето плагиат, а когда воруеш идеи многих людеи - ето исследования...

Хотел выразить личную благодарность всем тайним "переводчикам ..." (вставляйте ругательства в меру своей испорчесности) етово сайта, за их нелегкую работу, которая состоит в том што они делают мои и другие "дневниковые шидевры" недоступние для большинства изза незнания англисково или других языков, доступними, незатрудняя себя, при етом, указать имя оригинальново автора.

Мне чесно говоря было пофиг, до севоднешнево дня.
Севодня накипело, так как один "умник" обвинил меня в то што я у нево списал, мои же личные слова, то што я сам лично написал, даже не списанново с другово саита... Которые ктоме как с моево дневника вообще ниоткуда списать было...
Противно както стало... Если копируеш, то сиди и невозникай и знай откуда, хотябы... Я не прав?

За последние четыре дня, напал на четырех таких тайних "переводчиков", но необращал внимания на таковых, до севодня...
По именам пока небуду називать, но в будущем возможно буду...

Я не один такой "благодарний", так как говорил есче парой людей кто столкнулись с такой же проблемой... :)

Ладно, поплакался, отвел душу, а жить дальше надо... :)

Только што услышал от female coworker, изречение про мужчин:

"Men are like campfires, they go out if left unattended" :)

Ето точно :)

Rules of the Air

Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.
The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.
Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.
Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take offs you've made.
There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.
The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

Intercourse, (Alabama, Pennsylvania)
Hooker, (Arkansas, California, Oklahoma)
Rough and Ready, California
Climax, (Colorado, Georgia, Minnesota, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania)
Ballstown, Illinois
French lick, Indiana
Assawomen Bay, Maryland
Cockville, Maryland
Fertile, Minnesota
Conception, Missouri
Licking, Missouri
Sleeper, Missouri
Opportunity, Missouri
Square butt, Montana
Yaak, Montana
Colon, Nebraska
Big lick, North Carolina
Blue ball, (Pennsylvania, Connecticut
Virginville, Pennsylvania
Oral, South Dakota
Sweet lips, Tennessee
Quickie, West Virginia
Romance, (Arkansas, Missouri)
Date city, California
Concepcion (in Spanish –Conception), California
Darling, Mississippi
Valentine, (Nebraska, Texas)
Desire, Pennsylvania

For the special situations:
Uncertain, Texas
Confidence, California
Fair play, California
Hope, (Kansas, Missouri)
Last chance, California, Colorado)
Fear not, Pennsylvania
Accident, Maryland
Enough, Missouri
Sleepy eye, Minnesota
Experiment, Pennsylvania
Result, New York

Great memories destinations next :)

Still undecided?
Try these outerplanetary, intergalactic experiences:
Jupiter, California
Jupiter, Florida
Star, Idaho
Blue earth, Minnesota
Lost nation, New Hampshire
Moon, Pennsylvania
Mars, Pennsylvania
Earth, Texas
Moon, Virginia


Ever been to one of those not-very-memorable places, why not pick:
Hell, Michigan
Volcano, California
Satans Kingdom, Vermont
Lost city, West Virginia

Also, for our special guest the other fun-filled happy vocation destinations:
Secret, California
Surprise, California
Christmas, Florida
Surprise, Indiana
Christmas, Michigan
Paradise, Michigan
Happy land, Oklahoma
Paradise, Pennsylvania
Life, Tennessee
Looneyville, Texas
Happy, Texas
Paradise, Utah
Looneyville, West Virginia
Surprise, Nebraska
Parade, South Dakota
Diagonal, Iowa

Destinations that “really” welcomes You, and I mean “really”:
Welcome, North Carolina
Welcome, South Carolina


And of course, places that are not really meant to be remembered:
Nothing, Arizona
Town, California
No name, Colorado
Typo, Kentucky
Basic, Mississippi
Nameless, Tennessee

Great and memorable love/sex/romance destinations are comming up next :)

Ever wanted to go on vocation somewhere far and exiting, like overseas? Didn’t want to spend too much money? ?
No problem, try these exiting vocation destination next time, as they literary make you feel somewhere else:

Unalaska, Alaska
Bagdad, Arizona
Moscow, Arkansas
Bagdad, California
Siberia, California
Jupiter, Florida
Grand detour, Illinois
Cuba, Kansas
Denmark, Kansas
Holland, Kansas
Rome, Kansas
Zurich, Kansas
London, Kentucky
Paris, Kentucky
Egypt, Massachusetts
Denmark, Mississippi
Egypt, Mississippi
Hollywood, Mississippi
Paris, Mississippi
Mexico, Missouri
Nevada, Missouri
Paris, Missouri
Berlin, New Hampshire
Florida, New York
Bahama, North Carolina
Bolivia, North Carolina
Kremlin, Oklahoma
Beverly Hills, Pennsylvania
California, Pennsylvania
Indiana, Pennsylvania
Jersey shore, Pennsylvania
Moscow, Pennsylvania
Odessa, Pennsylvania
Vienna, South Dakota
Paris, Tennessee
Canadian, Texas
China, Texas
Paris, Texas
West, Texas
Moscow, Vermont
Bagdad, Virginia
California, Virginia
Delaware, Virginia
Jamaica, Virginia


Special needs vocations packages are comming up, soon.

Помоему ето очень страшная фотография.
Кто незнает, ето смотровая площадка на крыше World Trade Center, а дата в углу фотографии говорит што она была зделана 11 Сентября 2001 года...

IDIOTS...
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature of the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Idiot Sighting #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."

Idiot Sighting #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

Idiot Sighting #3:
At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching truck.

Idiot Sighting #4:
I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
People call at 9 pm. And ask, "Did I wake you?"
You answer a question with "Because I said so!"
The end of your tie doesn't come anywhere near the top of your pants.
You know what the word equity means.
You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to someone's lawn.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
Oh yes, it's that time to buy the "Corvette Convertible" and so much wrinkle cream that you start eating it

1. CHURCH PARKING - FOR MEMBERS ONLY! Trespassers will be baptized!
2. No God - No Peace. Know God - Know Peace.
3. Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside!
4. Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
5. An ad for one Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets
on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads:
"For Fast Relief, Take Two Tablets.
6. People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you
know how strong they are.
7. Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush.
8. Fight truth decay - study the Bible daily."
9. How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Non-Smoking.
10. Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives.
11. Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long, and the
pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.
12. It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin.
13. If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.
14. If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.
15. Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire
insurance soon.
16. A ch__ch is a church when (U R) in it.
17. In the dark? Follow the Son.
18. Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.

К сожалению узнал для себя плохую новость.
Я плохо говорю по руски (на этом саите) и луди меня с трудом понимают...
Может оттово што я так давно неговорил по руски?
Всёравно, теперь буду писать тольлко исключительно по анлглиски... :)

This is like the weirdest news report I've ever seen.
Also really gross, don't read if easily grossed out. :)

November 20, 2002 - Wireless Flash
Woman Attempts All-`Man-Juice' Diet
SANTA MONICA, Calif. (Wireless Flash, AP) -- A woman in Santa Monica, California, is attempting to lose weight in a manner others may not be able to stomach -- an all-semen diet.
Starting December 1, a plump porn star named Kim Kelly hopes to lose between 10 and 20 pounds by spending 30 days on a diet consisting largely of semen -- or as she prefers, "man juice."
It may be hard for you to swallow but Kelly is shooting for at least six square meals a day -- with occasional pigouts.
So far, more than 800 men have offered to help Kelly with her diet and she's currently screening applicants thoroughly for STDs.
Although nutrition experts agree "man juice" is high in zinc and other nutrients, there's no officially recommended daily allowance.
Therefore, Kelly says plans to drink plenty of banana smoothies in between her regular meals because, in her words, "I'm not going to kill myself for this."

Ах приятно первии раз в жизни сьесть незгоревшии ужин которыи я сам себе приготовил.... В первии раз незгорел гадениш... Есть чем гордится. :)

Задача на следуюшии раз, попытаться поимать ево (ужин) посередине, тоесть незгоревшии и несырым.
Всетаки севодня он небыл дожарен до конца, бил немного сырои, но уже позно, в желудке дожарится.... :)