And all that could have been...

Can't you see the real me?

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You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted game we play

We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...

Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down

The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get tickled
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain

Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...

и тащит!
[698x341]

I still recall the taste of your tears.
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.

You always were the one to show me how
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.
This thing is slowly taking me apart.
Grey would be the color if I had a heart.

In this place it seems like such a shame.
Though it all looks different now, I know it's still the same
Everywhere I look you're all I see.
Just a fading reminder of who I used to be.

I wanna know everything.
I wanna be everywhere.
I wanna fuck everyone in the world.
I wanna do something that matters.

Go fuck yourself
[показать]

Don't you want people to love you?
My spanking, that's the only thing i want so much. Why is that better than being hugged? Because you get closer to the person. Just like a person having sex feels cared for. We wanna be loved, so we have sex together. And they feel loved about that. And this is the way it makes me feel... loved. I want it, i dream about it, i think about it, i want it. Just like a girl wants sex with a boy, you know? It's the way i'll always be probably...
My last one was born in the system. See, they're stupid, very stupid, those people over there they're stupid. These people are so below mentality, honest to god, really. You know what i mean, he got the nerve to bug me. Everything seems so eight ball.
And i, i don't know if that's my imagination, but, umm... hey foxymophandlemama, that's me. Think they got me. It's a lovely stupid mop, it is. There's something really screwey about no streaking. Is it any old dumb mop? It streaks. Come on mop, no streaking mop. I don't mind mop the floor, my mop streaks, i don't like it; it's not me, it's the mop. I bought some new mops. Go away you stupid, dumb old sponge mop. I don't believe it, now the floor looks beautiful. You're right, this mop's stupid. Dumb old sponge mop.
In two weeks, before she could see herself not dressed the twenty-third of may you know she disturbed no one today. The manager told her to completely forget.
If you ever go to bed, i'll kill you. Do i tell the whole world that i'm mentally ill? I want to show them that i can walk on my own without hands of theirs and, i can still fantasize, but i keep it to myself... keep it to myself...keep it to myself.
I think i deserve to be loved, don't you? Very much so, but i keep it to myself. And, i can still fantasize, but i keep it to myself. Do you ever think that you would actually, really kill yourself? Well, if i have thought about it real, uhh, real deep; yes, i believe i would.

My sick imagination works.

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It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
I've been alone here
I've grown old
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

I keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

All the years I've tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We're falling down
I'm falling

Every time I’m falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Just look and you'll see me lying there.
Farewell.

I fucked your girlfriend last night. While you snored and drooled, I fucked your love. She called me Daddy. And I called her baby when I smacked her ass. I called her sugar when I ate her alive till daylight. And I slept with her all over me, from forehead to ribcage I dripped her ass. Sometimes I thought you might be spying, living out some brash fantasy, but no. You were knocked out. But we were all knocked out you know. In a way...
I serve too many masters.
We didn't know you'd break the bottle that the magic came in to use those jagged shards to slit our wrists and neck. And you'd do it too, you're that kind of dude. But you wouldn't know what you were doing because I didn't. Your girlfriend could have been a victim, an amputee, a dead body. But god damn I wanted to fuck.
I'm losing what's left of my fucking mind, I serve too many fucking masters.
(I told you. I told you motherfucker)

Lose me
Hate me
Smash me
Erase me
KILL me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-HH7b-tjGY

I got my propaganda
I got revisionism
I got my violence
In hi-def ultra-realism

Trying, lying, defying, denying, crying and dying. Where is everybody?
God have mercy on our souls; on our dirty little hearts.

This is the year where hope fails you. The test subjects run the experiments. And the bastards you know, is the hero you hate. But cohesion is possible if we strive. There's no reason, there's no lesson, no time like the present, telling you right now: 'What have you got to lose, what have you got to lose, except your soul?'

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You're with someone else
I am still right here

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I won't let you down
I won't make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way


P.S. You make this all go away. I'm down to just one thing, i've started to scare myself.

A man lies in his bed in a room with no door. He waits hoping for a presence, something, anything to enter. After spending half his life searching, he still felt as blank as the ceiling at which he's staring. He's alive, but feels absolutely nothing. So, is he?
When he was six he believed that the moon overhead followed him. By nine he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact. No tradebacks...
So this is what it's like to be an adult. If he only knew now what he knew then.
I'm open
Come in
Come in
I'm open
Lying sideways atop crumpled sheets and no covers, he decides to dream. Dream up a new self for himself.

It started when we were little kids, free spirits but already tormented by our own hands. Given to us by our parents we got together and wrote on desks and slept in laundry rooms near snowy mountains and slipped through whatever cracks we can find minds altered. We didn't falter in portraying hysterical and tragic characters in a smog filled Universe. We loved the dirty city and the journeys away from it. We had not yet been or seen our friends selves. Chase tails round and round in downward spiral leaving trail of irretrievable vital life juice behind. Still the brothersbloodcomradespartnerfamilycuzz was impenetrable. And we lived inside it laughing with no clothes. And everything experimental 'till death was upon us in our face mortality. And lots of things seemed futile then. But love and music can save us and did; while the giant grey monster grew more poisoned and volatile around us. Jaws clamping down and spewing ugly shit around. Nothing is the same, so we keep moving.
I remember 10 years ago in Hollywood we did some good and we did some real bad stuff. But the Butthole Surfers always said it's better to regret something you did, than something you didn't do. We were young and we were looking for the deep kick... Seen them come, seen them go.

Pathetic (benign)
Accept it (undermine)
Your opinion (my justification)
Happy (safe)
Servent (caged)
Malice (Utter weakness)
No toleration
Invade (committed)
Enraged (admit it)
Don't condescend (don't even disagree)
Desire (decay)
Dissapoint (delay)
You've suffered then, now suffer unto me.
Anyone (no) Anything (yes) Anyway (fall)
Anybody (mine) Anybody (tell me)
I want (you) I need (you) I'll have (you)
I won't let anybody have you
Obey (me) Believe (me) Just trust (me) Worship (me) Live for (me)
Be grateful (now) Be honest (now) Be precious (now) Be mine (just love me)

(Don't go) I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you
(I know) the only thing I ever really loved, was...

Alright then, picture this if you will:
10 to 2 AM, X, and a box of Krispy Kremes, in my "need to know" pose, just outside of Area 51.
Contemplating the whole "chosen people" thingy when a flaming stealth banana split the sky like one would hope but never really expect to see in a place like this.
Cutting right angle donuts on a dime and stopping right at my Birkenstocks, and me yelping...
Holy fucking shit!

Then the X-Files being, looking like some kind of blue-green Jackie Chan with Isabella Rossellini lips and breath that reeked of vanilla Chig Champa,
did a slow-mo Matrix descent out of the butt end of the banana vessel and hovered above my bug-eyes, my gaping jaw, and my sweaty L. Ron Hubbard upper lip and all I could think was: "I hope Uncle Martin here doesn't notice that I pissed my fuckin' pants."

So light in his way, like an apparition, he had me crying out, "Fuck me, it's gotta be, Deadhead Chemistry, the blotter got right on top of me, got me seein' E-motherfuckin'-T!"

And after calming me down with some orange slices and some fetal spooning, E.T. revealed to me his singular purpose.
He said, "You are the Chosen One, the One who will deliver the message. A message of hope for those who choose to hear it and a warning for those who do not."
Me. The Chosen One?
They chose me!!!
And I didn't even graduate from fuckin' high school.