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I was thinking about him... He is my best friend. We were together since kindergarten. And she was there too. But he was MY friend, not her! I'm sitting in my room, blood have already dried on my hands... But guilt was getting stronger... I killed her... But that’s for us! Now every picture of past came back and were floating around me... What did I do??? Now simple realization was killing me--I killed her! ....

I was at the restaurant.. I had a bad day so just wanted to be alone... And as I remember, I was thinking about you, James. There were simple dream-thoughts... Right then I lost the line between reality and dream... I was so happy to think that you were in love with me..

Then... then I saw you and her- Together. She was smiling with her gorgeous smile, like she knew that I was there too and was watching you. I tried to keep calm. I took a newspaper and tried to hide. That’s made me feel like your wife... I don't know, James, I love you... Did I ever tell you that? If I didn't then I'm sorry... That’s what I thought at that moment. And i was there, watching and waiting... We were friends. I would happy to come over and to talk to you, guys, like we always did... But somehow it didn't feel right. She was smiling at ya... And you... you took her hand... My heart was breaking apart... What was going on?

After a while I couldn't stop myself... I went to your table. "Hi!" - I said, trying to look innocent. "What are you doing guys?" You looked at each other... "Well, not much"-you said. "Having a break from outside world"- she added. "Oh, I see... Can I join you?” "Sure."

After that supper we all went home. She left behind us. I asked you to come to my house... You’re agreed. Well... Then when you saw the pictures of us, and her, you became delighted... We talked about our long time friendship. And I said suddenly: "James. I love you". You looked at me for a minute and said: "I'm sorry. You’re my friend".. "She is your friend too!" -"She is more then friend" -you said and looked away. "I loved her for a long time"... My heart was broken.

Tears dropping down my cheek... Why did you say that you love her? Why? My hands were itching from the blood... I tried to scrub it off. But, even if I did scrub it off it wouldn't do anything'. The guilt was still there... And she was dead... Tomorrow you'll find it out... And you'll be hurt... 'Because of me…

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Мдааа... Я спала крепко даже вставать не хотела. Но на работу идти надо. Вот мой рассказик... почитай если англ. знаешь.

Sandra.
Sometimes we need to remember that our life is short and no one knows when somebody we love is going to die. We have to make right choices today, choices that won’t hurt anyone we love. We don’t know what everyone is thinking and even if it’s your own child you still don’t know it.
I’m sitting in my room…alone. Sometimes I have this feeling that I need something more in my life, something that is so unreachable… I wonder if I’ll find that “something” soon. I had another fight with my sister. I will leave before I get mad, ‘cause every time we have a fight… I’m the one that is “always” wrong. That’s right. She is younger, so my parents are on her side even when she is wrong. Well… yes, maybe you don’t have that problem. Good for ya.
I sat in peace for over an hour until I had another strike of pain through my body. I closed my eyes and tightened my teeth. That pain went on and on. Yeah, I’m sick. Doctors have told me that I won’t live longer than a year… But that was two years ago and I’m still alive. Some times I’m thinking:” Better to die than have this terrible pain”… And that was true. In my dreams I see the light from time to time. I want to go there, but something Earthly is holding me, doesn’t let me go. Maybe it’s not my time yet.
I heard my parents talking one night and they were arguing about me. Mom was crying and dad… He didn’t say anything except… “She cost too much money”. His words were cold and I felt them, they were addressed to me. I don’t remember anything after that. I woke up in the hospital. Now hospital was my “home”. Hospital is the only place where I had friends like Emily and Marie. I was visiting my parents, well; actually they were taking me home sometimes on Saturdays. I hated my parents and my sister very much, but when they were with me… somehow it felt good.
Tomorrow I’ll have another operation. Dr. Jefferson said that they found good heart for me. I’m kind of scared… Somebody’s heart is going to be mine. And I don’t even know whose. I hope she/he won’t mind…
I’m going to be ten in two days! I’m excited. I’ll have a big dinner with my friend and all the doctors around. LoL Sounds like fun, huh? And…I hope my parents would come too… And if sister would like to come  she sure can. Maybe I don’t hate them after all...


“Sandra! Your mommy wants to see you”-Dr. Jefferson screamed across the hallway.
“Ok! I’m coming”… Sandra got out of her bed and went to the guest room. The hallways were too long and furniture around was too big. The white walls were brightened by the sunshine from the outside world. The air was pretty fresh. It made her to remember something… “Oh, yeah I’ve got a present for my mommy”… She turned around and went back. “Sandra! What’s taken you so long?”-Dr. Jefferson asked.
“I’ll be back soon!”
Yes! She took out a little package with something inside. She looked at it and smiled: “I’m sure mom would like it”.
On the way to her mom Sandra became too happy and emotions were too big for her little heart. She didn’t finish her way. “Oh, my gosh! Sandra! Doctor, somebody call the doctor!!!”

And there she was… so little and helpless baby. Mom stood beside her, she cried.
“What’s that in her hands?”-a little boy asked looking at Sandra’s package. Everyone turned their attention to it. Mother leaned toward Sandra and took out the package.
What she saw inside was… a card. Sandra made it especially for her. It had sun on it and beside the sun were everyone that she ever loved. She drew parents, sister, doctors and… a new heart of gold that was shining brighter than the sun itself… Everyone was in silence. Only mom was crying upon Sandra’s little body. Someone begin to read: “Mom, dear mom. I’m happy to be your daughter and I’m happy that I’ll have a new heart soon! We’ll have a big party, right? Can we invite Dr. Jefferson and my friends? And if Jenna would like to be there too, well, I don’t mind.  Mom, can you ask dad not to be angry at me? I know I was a big trouble for you, guys… And I promise after I’ll get my heart I won’t be a bad girl anymore. I would listen to you, mom. 
I love you! Your daughter, Sandra.

В колонках играет - у меня по ночам колонки не работают
Настроение сейчас - СКОРО спать пойду...без всякого настроения

ОСТАВЬ КАКИЕ_НИБУДЬ СЛЕДЫ ПОСЛЕ СЕБЯ... Я ЧИТАТЬ ЛЮБЛЮ ТАК ЧТО----ПИШИ! ОБЪЗАТЕЛЬНО ОТВЕЧУ...НА ЛЮБЫЕ ТУПЫЕ ВОПРОСЫ... И НА УМНЫЕ ВОПРОСЫ__ПОСТАРАЮСЬ ОТВЕТИТЬ!

В колонках играет - Linking park: In the end
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Привет..У меня 11:33 ночи. Спать страсть как хочется, но я вредина... мозги давно в одеяльце укрылись, храпят хихи Тока недавно видео смотрела...вощще! Рассказывать не буду (Думать и вспоминать не хочется) Вот тте линк: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-444363488647893860 Посмотри... если тока у тебя формат подходящий-php Так же, если хочешь меня поближе узнать то кликни здесь: http:www.myspace.com/siberiang http:www.facebox.com/Nastena


Ну ссЁ... пошла я.

Фотографии Аннастассия : ;)

Я была в зоопарке :)

Everything is awesome... I feel free and funny, even though I'm not funny at all lol Wanna meet y'all!