10 QUOTES OF THE FAMOUS PSYCHOLOGIST ERIC BERNE ABOUT HOW OUR BRAIN IS PROGRAMMED
Eric Berne is the author of the famous concept of scenario programming and game theory. They are based on transactional analysis, which is now being studied around the world. Berne is sure that every person's life is programmed before the age of five, and we all live after this scenario. In our material, a collection of quotes of this outstanding psychologist about how our brains are programmed.
1. The script is a gradually unfolding life plan, which is formed in early childhood mainly under the influence of parents. This psychological impulse with great force pushes a person forward, towards his destiny, and very often regardless of his resistance or free choice.
2. In the first two years, the child's behavior and thoughts are programmed primarily by the mother.This program also forms the initial skeleton of its scenario, the "primary protocol" as to who it should be, that is, whether it be a "hammer" or an "anvil".
3.When a child turns six years old, his life plan is ready. This was well known to the priests and teachers of the Middle Ages, who said: "Leave me a child until six years old, then take it back." A good pre-school educator can even foresee what kind of life awaits the child, whether he will be happy or unhappy, whether he will become a winner or a loser.
4. The plan for the future is mainly based on family instructions. Some of the most important moments can be detected quite quickly, already in the first conversation, when the therapist asks: "What did the parents tell you about life when you were little?"
5. Out of every indication, however indirect it may be, the child tries to extract his imperative core. So he programs his life plan. We call this programming, since the influence of an indication acquires a character of permanence. The child perceives the desires of the parents as a team, such she can remain for the rest of his life, if in it there does not happen any dramatic upheaval or event. Only great experiences, such as war, or unapproved by parents, can give him instant liberation.Observations show that life experience or psychotherapy can also give liberation, but much more slowly. The death of parents does not always remove the spell. On the contrary, in most cases it makes it stronger.
6. Most often, children's decisions, rather than conscious planning in adulthood determine the destiny of a person. Whatever people think or say about their life, it often gives the impression that some powerful attraction forces them to seek somewhere, very often not at all in accordance with what is written in their autobiographies or work books. Those who want to make money lose them, while others uncontrollably grow richer. Those who claim to seek love are only aroused by hatred, even from those who love them.
7. In the life of a person, the scenario result is foretold, prescribed by the parents, however it will be invalid until it is accepted by the child. Of course, acceptance is not accompanied by fanfare and a solemn procession, but nevertheless one day a child can state this with all possible frankness: "When I grow up, I will be the same as my mother" (which corresponds to: "I will marry and give as many children ") or" When I'm big, I'll be like Dad "(which may correspond:" I'll be killed in the war. ").
8. Programming is mostly done in a negative way. Parents are hammering children's heads with restrictions. But sometimes they give permits. Prohibitions make it difficult to adapt to circumstances (they are inadequate), while permits provide freedom of choice. Permits do not lead a child to trouble, if not accompanied by coercion. True permission is a simple "can", like, for example, a fishing license. A boy is forced to fish with a boy. He wants to - he catches, wants - no and goes with fishing rods, when he likes and when circumstances allow.
9. Permission has nothing to do with the education of permissiveness. The most important resolutions are permissions to love, change, and successfully cope with their tasks. A person with such a permission can be seen right away, as well as one who is bound by all kinds of prohibitions.("He was, of course, allowed to think," "She was allowed to be beautiful," "They are allowed to rejoice.")
10. It should be stressed once again: being beautiful (as well as having success) is not an anatomy, but a parental resolution. Anatomy, of course, affects the pretty face, but only in response to a smile of the father or mother can the real face of the daughter flourish. If parents saw in their son a stupid, weak and awkward child, and in the daughter - an ugly and stupid girl, then they will be like that.
A source
