Top 10 Amish Pick-up Lines:

10. Are thee at barn-raisings often?
9. If our religion didn't forbid the use of telephones, I would ask thee for thy number.
8. Can I buy thee a buttermilk colada?
7. You've really got the build for that plain bonnet and shapeless black dress.
6. Say, my favorite movie is "Witness" too!
5. Are thee a model?
4. There are so many phonies at these quilting bees. Let's go someplace quiet.
3. They buggy has a bitchin' lacquer job.
2. I got Sinatra tickets.
1. Are thee up for some plowing?

Top 10 Amish spring break activities:

1. Drink molasses 'til you heave
2. Wet bonnet contest
3. Stuff as many guys as you can into a buggy
4. Buttermilk keggar
5. Blow past the Dairy Queen on a really rad Clydesdale
6. Get a tattoo: "Born to raise barns"
7. Cruise streets of Belleville shouting insults at people with zippers
8. Sleep 'til 6:00 AM
9. Drive over to Allensville and kick some Mennonite rear
10. Churn butter naked

10 signs that an Amish teenager is going bad...

10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 5:00AM.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap!"
4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."
2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."
1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards!