My brother Oren and I would like to sing for you now, but we can't. At least my brother Oren can't, bein' as how he suffered a strange musical accident when he was young, that caused lasting and considerable damage. So if it's all the same to you, my brother Oren will just sit here and tap along to the strange rhythms in his head. This song is called "There Ain't But One Way".

The world is facin' problems
Gettin' bigger every day
We got a greenhouse over Texas
And recession's on the way
There's hunger in the third world
There's anger in the first
Half the world is floodin'
And the other's dyin' of thirst
But tho' people they may tell you
That this planet's dyin' fast
Well I ain't seen a problem yet
Can't be solved by kickin' ass

Kickin' ass! (KICKIN AY-ASS)
Kickin' ass is what we do
Kickin' ass! (KICKIN AY-ASS)
Iron foot in the velvet shoe
We don't care whose ass we kick
If we're ever all alone
We just stand in front of the mirror
And try to kick our own

Well We kicked ass in Grenada
We kicked ass in Iraq
We've kicked the ass out of the ozone layer
Now they say we gotta kick it back
We'll kick the ass of cancer
And we'll kick the ass of AIDS
And as for global warming
We'll just kick ass wearing shades.

Kickin' ass! (KICKIN AY-ASS)
Kickin' ass is what we do
Kickin' ass! (KICKIN AY-ASS)
Iron foot in the velvet shoe
We don't care whose ass we kick
If we're ever all alone
We just stand in front of the mirror
And try to kick our own

Well you can move your ass
Haul your ass
And bustin' ass is fine
And there ain't a better place to put your ass
Than on the line
But if you're like us (YEE-HAA!) Thank you,
And you won't take second best
You'll put your kickin' boots on
And kick like all the rest