Happy New Year, dudes and dudettes!

* May all your Total World Domination plans come true in 2010.

* May all the spam in your Inbox bounce back to the sender in triplicate.

* May all the commercials be limited to 5 seconds unless you have to go to the bathroom in which case may they last 15 minutes.

* May you never see the words "Your computer has been infected" displayed on the monitor.

* Unless it's someone else's monitor.

* And you don't have to fix it and they deserved it anyway.

* May there be a software glitch and the money in your bank account triples... and they won't find it.

* May there be money in your bank account, so that the math in the previous point works out.

* May your kids put you to shame with their brilliance.

* May their brilliance not express itself in the creative ways they can stuff a cat in the dishwasher.

* Finally, may Google Language tools translate this phrase correctly for those of you who don't understand it.