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CAPITALIST

You have two cows.

Your neighbor has none.

So?

 
COMMUNIST

You have two cows.

The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

You wait in line for hours to get it.

It is expensive and sour.
 

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.

You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

 
AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.

You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.

You are surprised when one cow drops dead.

You tell analysts you have downsized to cut costs.

Your stock goes up.

 
FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike because you want three cows.

You go to lunch.

Life is good.

 
GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent

quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.

You also discover they demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

 
ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.

While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.

You break for lunch.

Life is good.
 

RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have some vodka.

You count them and learn you have five cows.

The Mafia shows up and takes however many cows you really have.