В колонках играет - i choose life- keisha white
Настроение сейчас - worried but happy

right...im bk 2 UK nd its time to think over the things that happened last year...

current boyfriends: 0
past boyfriends: 3
school: been gd but failed sum exams..although, mocks were gd..
tennis:won loads of matches...

the past year has been...a gd experience...i learnt a lot. im nt gonna make the same mistakes nw. and the main thing is- i am still the same iron girl with a wide smile pulled on and my friends are still with me.

plan for 2007

current boyfriends: will be nothing more than a fling. no more serious realtionships..
past boyfriends: forget Alex. it's gone and we are different people living different lives...
school: work as hard as possible but keep positive
tennis: put your heart into it

this year is the time to start a new life. time 2 b different. i will change as it's the way it should be. i will never blame any1 4 the things i couldnt do. i will make it all this time.

В колонках играет - we're dancing- PYT
Настроение сейчас - fighting with myself, so pretty miserable, after having a great day...

just before you start reading- dont bother and skip this if you are not ready for another confession of a heartbroken lol

i stare at a blank point on the wall...wat shud i say 2 entertain u? wat can make u happy? how can i help? the girl beyond my face is breaking through a set image..."happy,positive,funny and will always help"...yes,thats me...but there is a different person underneath it all. that fragile, little and frightened girl...fairly interesting notes of the girl living in UK at a boarding school. i wonder sometimes, wat if i never came here? it would be so different? would i be able to succeed? of course, i would have had the life i wanted,could have been with my friends and all but i suppose i would have really missed out on alex..or it would have been great to never meet him..? he would have never had a chance to hurt me so bad..he wouldnt have had the chance to steal my heart... the fragile girl is getting tired of this...i want to be free..free from promises, responsibilities, tears and fears. but how do u say googbye for ever? i gave him that note...to wave goodbye...it said:
"life isnt about the amount of breaths u take, its about the moments that truly take ur breath away..u gave me a lot of those and i will never forget u and what u were to me. but now i wish u all the best for the future, forever yours Maria."

this was the end of me and him...a logical ending for me, at least..he never said anything about it. i havent spoken 2 him for so long,but now he is back with all the flirting...i spent 3 hours with him today...it felt just as it did back then, when we were together..but does it mean anything to him??

i want 2 live!!!!!!!!!! live the life i had!!!!! i want to get a part of myself back. i dont want him to hold it anymore. i want to let go and be free to trail off...but i dont know how to.

i tried being friends- failed
i tried going out with someone else- failed
i tried flirting with others to get me busy- failed
i tried workin so hard that i wont have the energy to think- failed.
i tried drawing his attention back to me- the result frihgtens me...what if he wants me back?

ive been trying to erase alll the memories of him, even deleted all his texts and emails, threw away his letter...but as soon as i face another meeting with him, it all gets back to me. all the times we spent together are just there before my eyes. when he holds my hand now, i shiver because it reminds me of the times he used to hold me..of the day when i slept with him. when he asks why i shiver, i lie and say that im cold. its true thought, im cold inside, i need him...its just a question of habit now. the other nite i was lying in my bed, flicking through my old phone and glanced at the watch- it was 10:45, the time when he would always call me. every day without fail. i miss his voice...

god, in tears again. its getting hard to breathe and IT CLICKED- I NEED TO FORGET HIM FOR GOOD. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.

В колонках играет - breathe- michelle branch
Настроение сейчас - im back on the track!!!

everything is changing...an iron girl is falling to pieces under his touch...i spent 3 hours with him today...he touvhed my hand, did all the things we used 2 do...and hes buildin up my hopes again...i dont know whether 2 give in or to try and escape...? what do u guys think?

xxx

do u girlies remeber this?? was soooo much fun))))) cant wait 2 c u!!!

xxxx
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В колонках играет - the weakness in me- Keisha White
Настроение сейчас - alrite...tired lol

Memories fading away,
Moments slipping astray.
We had it all,
And had nothing for all.

How did we get this far?
You could have been a star…
Feelings out of the way.
You are not here today.

The love we had to give…
I wish we could stay and forgive.
But we lost the chance,
Just as the moment of romance

I love you,
And I still do.
But I can never care less for you
After all you put me through.

Go now, its over.
Don’t try to act sober.
You broke us down,
You made us drown.

I can never fly again
I will never see the clouds again
You broke my wings
Which you can’t replace with diamond rings…

В колонках играет - kiss me by god knows who lol
Настроение сейчас - christmasy!!!!

wat should i say? there isnt much to....im so worn out after the mocks- 20 bloody exams in one week!!!!! the weather is crap nd half of the buttons dont work on my laptop...argh...but yay its xmas soon!!!!! im gettin loads of presents from peeps at bradfield nd im abbsolutely loving it!!!!!!!!!!! aparently, Joe is getting me a golden necklace!! how cool? nd i...kinda started talking 2 alex again...i wonder wat is gonna happen next...

xxxx

В колонках играет - ciara- And I
Настроение сейчас - shit. sick and tired.

I feel like im on the edge of a clif screaming on top of my voice but everyone just stares at me, no one is even trying to help… this is ridiculous. today I got told that I will fail my drama GCSE cos my entire group is pissing about rather than doing something… and these exams are driving me up the wall- 3 in a row, 1,5 hrs each this is so fuckin stupid…. Especially when they say that its not gonna be like that in the real thing. We have like 1 exam a week…so why put us through such stress for no reason? I wish I could go wherever I wanted to without everyone demanding something I cant do from me… I cant do 2 exams at the same time nor I can play tennis when im so out of breath that im about to faint. Nor I can be a star or an A* student in everything. This is just not possible. Why cant they understand it? Stupid people… or maybe im stupid? Should I even be here? Lastly, I cant love him anymore. This is getting kinda ridiculous… he is after me for the reason I don’t know and I just don’t know how to react… how to love him right? He wants me and I know it, but I don’t see how we can get back to where we were… its been too long…so many things have changed…and he has hurt me too much...

В колонках играет - Mariah Carey- take a look at me now
Настроение сейчас - relief but feel a little blond lol

i must have sum serous brain problems.... i just had my physics exam and one of the first questions was about a filament lamp or something. i just read exactly how to answer it last nite and i couldnt remeber it in the real thing!!!!!! oh well...i reckon i still got a "B" or a "C" so shouldnt b too bad lol

xxxxxxxxxxx

В колонках играет - RiCh GiRl- Gwen Stefanie!!!
Настроение сейчас - soooooooooooooo gooooooood!!!

Сейчас становится особенно четко ясно где в англии лежит грань между веселухой (так называемым-rave) и веселой,"занимательной" учебой!!!! I officially hate skl yr 11 nd exams!! All of them!!

но это все не имеет значения по сравнению с тем,что мне сеня сказа мой папа!!!!!!!!!! на зимние канукулы...с 1ого по 7ое я еду.....в Ишгль с Дашулей!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! УУУУУУУУУУРРРРРРРРРРРРРРРРАААААААААААААААА!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

В колонках играет - Leave me alone(I'm lonely)-Pink
Настроение сейчас - sleepy, jus got out of bed

somehow, u dont realise what are the things that really matter until u lose them or until u get so far away from them... like my best friend Dasha...of course, here at Bradfield ive got loads of friends nd everything but its just soo different. i dont feel like i could tell them anything that comes into my head...they dont understand me right away nd they can never carry on wat im sayin nd read my mind...Dasha wud know wat im talkin bout lol!!

but its not only people that really matter- every spring, nearby our school (91!!!) it smells of spring... i cant really explain or describe that smell but its just there! or wen u go 2 school every day and know exactly that someone is waiting for u there, someone will be gald to see u...and the same whenu come back home..u know that someone will be waiting...2 years ago i didnt know how it feels to walk into a lonely,cold and ugly room to realise that everyone u love and care about are 2000 miles away...

i wonder if im doing the right thing being here?

Ваша красота похожа на... дневной свет...

...яркая, горячая, светлая... ваша красота бросается в глаза и ослепляет... поэтому её не так легко увидеть и понять... но тот, кто поймёт её — необычную и единственную, присущую только вам и больше никому — полюбит и уже никогда не сможет забыть... внутренняя сила, энергия, постоянное самосовершенствование и потрясающая самоуверенность — источник вашего очарования. Хотите — верьте, хотите — нет :)

Пройти тест

В колонках играет - Aretha Franklin-Respect
Настроение сейчас - YAY!! V good!!

u have 2 b havin a laugh!! i hav 20 exams next weeks and....i havent revised for a single 1!!! wat does maria deside to do? start revision on a saturday nite instead of goin out nd havin a rave...silly biatch lol

neway, had a great day, apar from lessons of course!! did sum food shopping was well funny wit Mirra nd Holly!! and those chavs runnin after us lol

xxxx

В колонках играет - when you believe-Mariah Carey
Настроение сейчас - weird....still

omg...so depressed...weird time it is that im havin...oh nd I miss Dasha soooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i don even get 2 spk 2 her that much....i wanna go home!!!


3 weeks to go...

В колонках играет - when you really love someone-Alicia Keys
Настроение сейчас - weird...dunno

i got out of bed this morning and a weird feeling hit me. why am i living this live the way i am? just got back from israel-went for 3 days for my dad's 60th...it was great and everything but when i came back i felt like im falling into pieces. something is tearing me apart im really scared of something...but i dont know what it is. i feel weird. i always was this iron lady who didnt let anything to her. i never let anyone too close to me cos i knew it would really hurt eventually...but i made a mistake-with alex. just confirmed that i was right to keep people away from my heart. now i cant comletely get over him-he's always there-in my head, in my heart,inside of me. but i also struggle to be friends with him cos everything we had in common when we were going out has gone now..i have nothing to takl to him about, i have nothing to share with him. not even my love for him, because its gone. but his charm and all that is stil there and i know that he feels something for me too. he always will. it wasnt just me who had such a serious relationship for the first time. it was him too. and im not dreaming or making it up-this is true, he feels something for me, but we will never be together.

anyway, i even stopped going to the dining hall and on the rare times when i do go i feel sick and want to get out as soon as i can-poor Mirra probs hatess me for it now!! hunni,soz if you're reading ths!!!

god...anyway...i'll try to figure it all out,but after my mocks wich are next week and i havent revised at all! have some stuff to catch up on so spk to u all l8r!!

xxx

Главное



правило - не читай все сразу! Читай по строчке и не дальше, Ок?



Интересная штука. Странно, но она работает. СТРОГО выполняй все пункты.



Попробуй, может, это покажется интересным. Короче, это займет 3



минуты. Тот, кто прислал это, сказал, что его желание исполнилось через



10 минут после того, как он все прочитал. Но не жульничай! Сначала



найди ручку и бумагу.



Когда ты будешь писать имена, выбирай их так,



чтобы это были имена тех людей, которых ты знаешь, а также повинуйся



своему первому инстинкту.



Прокручивай вниз по строчке - не читай все подряд без остановки, а не то ты обломаешь себе весь кайф, понятно?



Прокручивай текст ниже по строчке и шаг за шагом выполняй



задание. Это займет всего пару минут!



Поехали:







1. Сначала напиши в столбик числа от 1 до 11.







2. Потом, напротив 1 и 2 напиши любые два числа.







3. Напротив 3 и 7 напиши имена противоположного пола. (Не смотри



дальше, если не дописал, а то все будет неверно.)







4. Напиши любые имена (например друзей или членов семьи)в 4,5 и 6-ом



номере. (Не мухлюй, а то потом будешь рвать на себе волосы.)







5. Напиши четыре названия песен в 8,9,10 и11.( не мухлюй, а делай



все шаг за шагом!)







6. И, наконец, загадай желание!







А теперь ключ для игры...







1. Ты должен рассказать об этой игре стольким людям, какое число



написал рядом с номером 2







2. Человек под номером 3 - это тот, кого любишь







3. Человек под номером 7 - это тот , который нравится, но с которым ты



все никак не можешь оказаться рядом.







4. Больше всего ты заботишься о человеке под номером 4







5. Человек под номером 5 знает тебя очень хорошо







6. Человек под номером 6 - это твоя "звезда удачи"







7. Песня номер 8 ассоциируется с человеком под номером 3







8. Песня номер 9 - песня , которая относится к человеку под номером



7







9. Десятый пункт - это песня, которая говорит о твоих мыслях, о



тебе самом







10. И 11 песня показывает твое отношение к жизни







11. Что означает число под номером один - никто не знает, но что-то оно



для Тебя значит, раз Ты его написал.







12. Пошли это 20 людям не позже, чем через час, после



прочтения. Если ты это сделаешь, желание исполнится, а нет - не выполнится.



Удивительно, но это работает!







Сегодня в полночь твоя любимая половина поймет, насколько сильно



тебя любит.



Что-то хорошее произойдет с тобой завтра в 13:00-16:00ч.







Это может произойти где и как угодно: через ел. почту, вне работы и



т.д. Будь готов к самому большому шоку в жизни

В колонках играет - pieces of me-Ashlee Simpson
Настроение сейчас - hmm....dunno

how much longer? im so sick and tired...i dont even like him anymore. i mean there will always be something that i feel for him but i just dont care. although,tonight when i was out on "the wall" george,baster and all the "G house crew" screamed "ooi,Maria,Crockford is just here! wanna come over?" and all that crap...this is really annoyin cos i dunno where this all comes from...unless, sum1 read his txts nd s goin around tellin ppl shit or its him sayin something bout me.. jus the fact that the more i try to get away from him the worse it is... "apparently" he came up to this boy in upper sixth and asked if he has the permission to go out with this girl in upper sixth...must be bullshit... or maybe he likes that girl... its also him behavin so weird aroung me...tryin to be this caring friend whom i dont need...

В колонках играет - pink- run away
Настроение сейчас - dunno,weirrd..

everything that ive been through is jus another way of getting back to u... ive been with Ed but i didnt care for him, i was by myself but it felt wrong.. god what do i do now!! i want 2 get back wit u but u seen so far away even when ur touching me and are so close to me...

В колонках играет - i love you-Nickelback
Настроение сейчас - still the same

life is a wicked game that we play...is there gonna be an end to it?

В колонках играет - broken&beautiful-Kate Alexa
Настроение сейчас - angry at myself,nearly in tears as im slowly realisin-he's jus another one...

he said it ws too hard for him...and that he fuckin likes someone else....why did he bloody do this to me? i ws so happy wen i got wit him...i thought he was different-not one of those who lead you on and then say they're sorry...but he IS EXACTLY one of them. and she was right wen she said he is so the type i go for-typicl rude boy...i hate him so much!!!!!!!!!!! but its all my fault all over again..i gave in to all the crap he was tellin me...there we go...another failure...i never have proper relationships-i always play around and flirt just so that i dont get too close and dont get hurt. now,by the means of it,its time to "pay" for wat i have done...second in a row..getting too close...at least i didnt make such a mistake as i did wit alex...maube, i just didnt have enough time this time?

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