moving out and living on my own, its not such a bad idea,
BUT ...
will i be able to support myself? will i have enough money, and not living from paycheck to a paycheck and why do i really want to do it?
is it to be independent? to stay late everynight? to have come overs?
to get a serious boyfriend?
why? i wish i knew, so before i move out , i have to answer this question to myself :"WHY DO I WANT TO DO THIS?"

God Bless me
so lost, damn i hate being in my 20's
its so easy when you are a teenager - you live with your parents, care about nothing
and when you are in ur 30's- you get a family and live in your own house
but when you are in ur 20's- you are lost, "i am not a girl, not yet a woman" , haha ,

20's -- single, broke, poor but full of energy and enthusiasm
GOD HELP ME

love
[390x458]

she was walking on the Gay street in New York City, wearing orange dress and a pilot prada sunglasses. She realized she forgot her cell phone at home. She wanted to call someone, but didn't know anyones phone number by heart. so she kept on walking.

it was getting hotter and hotter outside. the temperature kept on raising. she reached out for her wallet in her bag. it was there, but she had no cash inside. she had 5 credit cards. her driving licence and lots of other credit cards from fancy very expensive shops that she never actually could afford to shop.

she knew that there is no use of her credit cards. all she wanted was a strawberry cone ice cream that she saw one guy selling on the opposite street. so she kept on walking.

she wouldn't stop . she just kept on walking in a fast pace and thinking about something..

than she had the craziest idea. so she stoped, smiled and kept on walking.

she stopped near the deutsch royal bank, walked in and withdraw a $1000.

- "Hi, i would like to open up a new account at your bank, here is a $1000 for start."
- "Gladly ma'am. May i see your id. What kind of account are you interested in?"
- " Marketing... I would like to buy some stocks and options today. Can you do that for me?"
- "Yes, ma'am."
- "What kind of stocks would you like? A put or a call option? What companies are you interested in?"
- " a 100 put options. and its Mathween's LLC "
- " Great choise, great company"
- " Yes, my boyfriend owns it"
- " And you want to buy put options? do you expect the company's value to go down?"
- " I sure do." "Good Bye"

She loved her boyfriend.
Its just that she always knew he is not that good with finance.
Besides, she was the main financial analyst for the company.
she always worked from home, because her boyfriend didn't like the idea of comming home late in the evening and not seeing her at home cooking dinner.
he always underestimated her.

She took a cab home. Fed her cat with chicken in gravy. Turned the mp3 player on with her favority cd by Pet Shop Boys. Sprayed herself with favorite MaxMara perfume. Closed the door and walked out.

She was going to Sheraton hotel. She stayed there all evening, swimming in the pool and than all night waiting for the news from her boyfriend.

She was sure that the next morning , when she will wake up , she will be a millionare.

i wonder why am i writting this journal, i never read it anyway

i did not yell so much in my life!!!
fucking electrician

I CAN DANCE!
[428x374]

haha, my horoscope for 2day says:
Thanks to the planetary formation that is unsettling everyone today you’re likely to react badly if someone seems to be undermining your fierce sense of independence. Aquarians don’t like to be pinned down at the best of times, but today you’ll be extra sensitive, so postpone any deep or serious emotional discussions!
so true!

there, i just broke up on a phone with will
even through we never dated, but he kept on calling me and asking out
now , it put the end of it
gosh, me almost cried on a phone, at the end, he didn't even talk much, i felt like i was talking to myself and he was crying on the other line.
now i feel like a bitch, but for a good reason
i can't stand a guy who is that sensitive and "good"

"Я тебя съем красная шапочка!" - сказал безумный пионер и сожрал свою пилотку.
________________
- Доpогая как ты пpекpасна в этом туалете!
- Закpой двеpь, идиот!

i am going to the mogehan sun casino for two days , yeah!
tonight i am going to see ABBA consert and than go swimming at the local hotel pool
but before, i am playing some poker!!!
i so wanna win, so i can buy myself a piano!

fuck
will now keeps on calling me everyday
fuck fuck fuck
i can't stand him
why why why was i nice to him for a couple of days before
thats what you get when you stay nice with guys that you dont like

just came home
went out to learn how to dance mambo with victor
2 hours of pure fun
even through , he cant dance for shit , and not my type of a guy
but i always enjoy dancing no matter where, when and with who
p.s. especially when that black guy grabed me ... haha
and the instructor always showed new moves on me first
ha!

gosh, even my driving instructor is in love with me
and he is in his 70's
and he wants to be my boyfriend
young, old , straight , gay, single or taken guys just love me

part II
same shit
my first piano lesson
and once again, old farts showed up
what the hell did i sign up for??????
kill me

i hate her
fucking biatch can't make up her mind
first she wants to go to the pool, than she doesnt, than she wants again but cant cause it rains , like she's gona die in the rain
fuck, i should do things on my own from now on so my plants would be ruined anymore

just came from my first dance lesson
it was haha, how can i say that, "fun"
well, i was the star on the podium, thats right, but thats because grandma's and grandpa's showed up
everyone was over 50 in the class...
haha, but dancing will old men was fun for me, and not so fun for their old wifes
one bad thing - they move VERY slow

going to the beach on my own saw fun
BUT now that its after dark, i can see how uneven i applied sunblock at the beach to my body.
i can literally see my finger prints on my back, sides, feet and my BOOBS
i can't wear tank tops anymore
damn
damn
damn
i dont'want my finger prints on my body

for the first time in MY life , i went ot the beach all by my self , without anyone
totaly alone , and it was totaly fun!

i woke up this sunday morning at 7 am just so i can go to 4 hour driving class.
it was so awesome. its so great to learn new things!
i love power of learning.
i also decided to take 5 more lessons to improve my driving skills.
cause driving in NYC DRIVES ME CRAZY , it drives everyone crazy
the instructor was such a cool dude :-)

i can't believe that bitch just called me
i told her earlier that i am going to a party and invited her
but she didn't want it
now, she just called me to ask about this party so she can go with her own friends and didn't even ask if I want to go
and its the party that I invited her
i cant believe it, she totaly abandon me
this is so rude, we are NOT friends any more
thats it
she can go have fun with someone else
i swear , thats it
i will not pick up my phone when she is calling
never ever will i go out with her
i need to get better friends