Шайтан, сапсем забыл про любимую матерную песню
об тяжелой жизни во флоте... взята с моего сайта :)

урезанная версия была в самом конце совершенно чумовой
фильмы the great rock n'roll swindle - бодрящее кино, особливо
когда с утра встанешь - и лучше б и не вcтавал :)

PS. песня - народная, аглицкая - прошу учесть. Звучит не так
как в школе учили - mate есть скорее майт чем мэйт :)

'jerked' - это значит 'jerked' :)
'reproductive organ' - скорее всего мужской половой хуй,
но могу ошибаться.
'bosun' - сволочь жадная и подлая, матершинник :)


===============
Friggin' In The Riggin'

It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ ya shouldda seen us.
The figurehead was a whore in bed,
And the mast a mammoth penis.

The captain of this starker
He wept to leave his mother.
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another.

Chorus:
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do.

The first mate's name was Morgan.
By Christ he was a gorgon.
Ten times a day he'd stop and play
With 'is reproductive organ.

The second mate was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper.
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor.

Chorus

The bosun's name was Andy
By Christ he had a dandy
Until he crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For coming in the brandy.

The cabin boy was Ripper
He was a randy nipper.
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper.

Chorus

The Captain's wife was Mabel.
To fuck she was not able.
So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table.

While crossing the equator
The crew did elevate her.
She bared her ass on the topmost mast,
And dared the crew to mate her.

Chorus

The Captain's daughter Charlotte
Was born and raised a harlot.
Her thighs were white by the pale moonlight,
By morning they were scarlet.

The Captain's other daughter
Fell in deep sea water,
And by her squeals we knew the eels
Had found 'er private quarters.

Chorus

While sailing on the ocean
We'd often get a notion
In cold and heat to beat our meat
With a peculiar motion.

Sailing on the Sargasso,
To make the doldrums pass, Oh
We'd launch a spree of buggery
Upon each other's ass'oles.

Chorus

We knew sooner or later
Approaching the equator
That every Jack would have a whack
At turning furnicator.

Each sailor lad's a brother
To each and one another.
We'd take great pains at our daisy chains
Whilst writing home to mother.

Chorus

Chorus

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later
discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying
to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor,
a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft
said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra
movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons
of math instruction. "Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said.
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on tangents in a search of аbsоlute value. They
use secret code names like "x"and "y" and refer to themselves as
"unknowns", but we have determined they belong to a common
denominator of the axis of mediеvаl with coordinates in every
country. "As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are
3 sides to every triangle," Ashcroft declared.

When asked to comment o the arrest, President Bush said, "If God
had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would
have given us more fingers and toes. "I am gratified that our government
has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these
math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard.
Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence,"
the President said, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must
differentiate their root, make our point,and draw the line." President
Bush warned, "These weapons of math instruction have the potential
to decimal everything in their math on a scalene never before seen
unless we become exponents of a Higher Power and begin to factor-in
random facts of vertex."

Attorney General Ashcroft said, "As our Great Leader would say, read
my ellipse. Here is one principle he is uncertainty of: though they
continue to multiply, their days are numbered as the hypotenuse
tightens around their necks."

Давно уж не был я на исторической родине, и как-то привык к тому,
что включивши радио, можно пымать значительно больше одной станции,
коя вещает нормальную музыку (1077thebone.com rulez!), что из соседнего
автомобиля, где за рулем дама лет 60-ти, звучит "I'm on the highway to hell"
вместо "хочется курить, но прмокли все спички". Более того, ничего плохоло
я в этом не вижу- грешен, просто не терплю наше родное творчество.
воспринимаю нормально разве что Облачный край и Зоопарк. АУ может быть.
От новомодных - не помню названия, но про зайчика орут похабными голосами - песен, пардон, блевать так и кидат... Да, это вступление было...
Не просветит ли кто убогого, как там, на родине? Лучше стало? Али хуже?

The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

Люблю....

Идиет я наверное...
===============================

Loaded like a freight train
Flyin' like an aeroplane
Feelin' like a space brain
One more time tonight
Well I'm a west coast struttin'
One bad mother
Got a rattlesnake suitcase
Under my arm
Said I'm a mean machine
Been drinkin' gasoline
And honey you can make my motor hum''
I got one chance left
In a nine live cat
I got a dog eat dog sly smile
I got a Molotov cocktail
With a match to go
I smoke my cigarette with style
An I can tell you honey
You can make my money tonight

Wake up late
Honey put on your clothes
Take your credit card
to the liquor store
That's one for you and
two for me by tonight
I'll be loaded like a freight train
Flyin' like an aeroplane
Feelin' like a space brain
One more time tonight

I'm on the nightrain
Bottoms up
I'm on the nightrain
Fill my cup
I'm on the nightrain
Ready to crash and burn
I never learn
I'm on the nightrain
I love that stuff
I'm on the nightrain
I can never get enough
I'm on the nightrain
Never to return-no

Loaded like a freight train
Flyin' like an aeroplane
Speedin' like a space brain
One more time tonight
I'm on the nightrain
And I'm lookin' for some
I'm on the nightrain
So's I can leave this slum
I'm on the nightrain
And I'm ready to crash and burn
Nightrain
Bottoms up
I'm on the nightrain
Fill my cup
I'm on the nightrain

Whoa yeah
I'm on the nightrain
Love that stuff
I'm on the nightrain
An I can never get enough
Ridin' the nightrain
I guess I
I guess, I guess, I guess
I never learn

On the nightrain
Float me home
Ooh I'm on the nightrain
Ridin' the nightrain
Never to return
Nightrain

I sit alone in my bedroom
Staring at the walls
I've been up all damn night long
My pulse is speeding
My love is yearning

I hold my breath and close my eyes and...
Dream about her
Cause she's 2000 light years away
She holds my malakite so tight so...
Never let go
Cause she's 2000 light years away
Years Away!

I sit outside and watch the sunrise
Lookout as far as I can
I can't see her, but in the distance
I hear some laughter,
We laugh together

I hold my breath and close my eyes and...
Dream about her
Cause she's 2000 light years away
She holds my malakite so tight so...
Never let go
Cause she's 2000 light years away
Years Away!

I sit alone in my bedroom
Staring at the walls
I've been up all damn night long
My pulse is speeding
My love is yearning

I hold my breath and close my eyes and...
Dream about her
Cause she's 2000 light years away
She holds my malakite so tight so...
Never let go
Cause she's 2000 light years away

===================from the other side :)

I wanna be your dominated love slave
I wanna be the one that takes the pain
You can spank me when I do not behave
Mack me in the forehead with a chain

Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive them staples deep

I want you to slap me and call me naughty
Put a beltsander against my skin
I want to feel pain all over my body
Can't wait to be punished for my sins.

Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive them staples deep

Yee-hah!

Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drrrriiiveeee.....Staples?

Born in a mining town in '58.
When black and white TV was up to date.
And men were still around.
Who fought for freedom. Stood their ground and died.

That I could be alive and see the damage,
that we've managed since.
In this septred isle. Is nothing sacred.
Just a one square mile.

переехал... Даже железного коника мавра на траке доставила. Ну чего я
могу сказать? I fucking hate the way they drive!!! Speed limit 55 - не Калифорнийщина однако. но эти гниды как-то обучились ездить по
дорогое в рядок, в каждой полосе по скотине, и скорость поддерживают миль 50 в час. И ни объедешь... У всех, что характерно, престижные автомобили
иномарки, но как же они стартуют... В Москве б точно пристрелили..

что еще... Дождей за последние 10 дней было больше\чаще, чем в Калифорнии
за последние 10 месяцев. Зато небо не настолько отвратительно синее, слайды
можно просто сканировать, не убирая синий. Ну и фотографировать без UF/парализатора.

Бензин дешевше - вчера заливал по $1.629 / gal за premium, у которого
на east coast октановое число 93 супротив 91 на west coast. папироски
дешевше - блок marlboro medium - $22, на десятку меньше. а вот торговля
алкоголем национализирована, со всеми тремя вытекающими из оного
прискорбного факта недостатками - работают до 9pm, цены рваческие (хотя
один хрен меньше чем в городе-герое Москве. раза эдак в 2 с половиною).
И - самое противное - выбор беден. Ну не продает эта $$$ская оргпнизация
lagavulin. Да и ничего вкусного не продает. Общевойсковое пойло... Обидно...
Надо в MD на выходных смотаться. Вдруг повезет :)

Tribute:


This is the greatest and best song in the world... Tribute.

Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here,
we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon... in the middle... of the road.
And he said:

"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your soul." (soul)

Well me and Kyle, we looked at each other,
and we each said... "Okay."

And we played the first thing that came to our heads,
Just so happened to be,
The Best Song in the World, it was The Best Song in the World.

Look into my eyes and it's easy to see
One and one make two, two and one make three,
It was destiny.
Once every hundred-thousand years or so,
When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow
And the grass doth grow...

Needless to say, the beast was stunned.
Whip-crack went his schwumpy tail,
And the beast was done.
He asked us: "(snort) Be you angels?"
And we said, "Nay. We are but men."
Rock!
Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah,
Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!

This is not The Greatest Song in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn't remember The Greatest Song in the World, no, no.
This is a tribute, oh, to The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Song in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafuckin' song the greatest song in the world.

gee, ooh de flliga goo gee ooga fligoo giggoo ooh fligoo giggoo ge gee oogah
goo gee oogah geegoogegegee, fligoo giggoo,oh flig, oh mama Lucifer

And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
the song we sang on that fateful night it didn't actually sound
anything like this song.

This is just a tribute! You gotta believe me!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, fuck! Good God, God lovin',
So surprised to find you can't stop it.

All right! All right!

----

Fuck her gently

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fuckin give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey

I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly

And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute Sally
I think I got somethin in my teeth
Could you get it out for me?
That's fuckin teamwork!
Whats your favorite posish?
That's cool with me - that's not my favorite
But I'll do it for you
Whats your favorite dish?
Im not gonna cook it, but ill order it from Zanzibar

And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fuck you hard

Hard

Still can't fuckin' understand why 'martini' in the 'land of the free' means
not gin+vermouth but stupid booze with label 'martini' on it??? What about
'xtra-xtra-dry-martini', lass and lads???

Покойный ноне товарищ говорил - "Слушает Manowar - дык
душою молод поли..."

I hear the sound
In a metal way
I feel the power
Rolling off the stage
Cause only one thing
Really sets me free
Heavy Metal
Loud as it can be
Baby I was born to play music
I'm a man with a screamin guitar
There's a light in the middle of the stage
In a minute I'll be wearing it all
I don't know another way of living
Baby I don't really care
Give me a pair of jeans
And a riff that's mean
And girls that love to share
[Chorus:]
Heavy metal, metal daze
Heavy metal, heavy metal daze
Heavy metal, heavy metal daze
Living like there's no tomorrow
Yeah Currie says we're on the edge
He says man you're really graffic
This band a social wedge
Yeah we all got hearts made of metal
and our blood is hot molten rock
And if I don't hear the sound of metal
I go into shock
[Chorus:]
Heavy metal, metal daze
Heavy metal, heavy metal daze
Heavy metal, heavy metal daze
Heavy metal, heavy metal daze
Heavy metal
So mister D. J.
Play just one for me
You know the one
With the crushin' and the screams
'Cause only one thing
Really sets me free
Heavy metal
Loud as it can be
[Chorus:]
Heavy metal, metal daze
Heavy metal, heavy metal daze
Heavy metal, heavy metal daze
heavy metal, heavy metal daze
Heavy metal
Loud as it can be

===================

I don't know
Well, there's no charge for the haircut
And the bullets come free
My Uncle Sam send a letter, said:
He's got a mission for me
Now I'm a ranger, not a stranger
And I live in Saigon
We've got a team of special forces
And we deliver napalm
But if they tell you that I've lost my mind
Baby it's not gone just a little hard to find
About the time this letter gets home
I'd be gone, gone, yeah gone
And if they tell you that I'm F.I.A.
Think a little less about me each day
'Cause if I ever get back
I'll be shell shocked, whoa
Shell shocked, yeah
Feels funny riding in my car
Used to drive a tank and shoot a B.A.R.
I know I'm home
But I feel gone,gone, yeah gone
Now it's over and the homeland's safe
Got a purple heart to show the world I'm brave
The businessmen sat home
Well I got shell shocked, whoa
Shell shocked, whoa
Shell shock
Shell shock
Shell shock

===============================

He broke the laws of the elders
So they blocked out his eye,
Took his land and fortune,
Left him to die
Bound on the shoreline,
Left for the tide,
Seizes life, blood leaving...
Circling lower, the vultures fly
His bones may be broken
But the spirit can't die
And the Gods see his anguish
And give him a sign
From the floor of the ocean
The ship of the lost souls rise
And they take him where no one sleeps while the undead cry,
Where no one sleeps while the undead cry...
And in the world above
The elders sing,
On his land they live...
Let death bell ring
Narration:
He was met at the gate of Hades
By the Guardian of the Lost Souls,
The Keeper of the Unavenged
And He did say to him:
"Let you not pass
Abandon
Return to the world
From once you came
And seek payment
Not only for thy known anguish
But vindicate the souls
Of the Unavenged"
And they placed in his hands
A sword
Made for him
Called: Vengeance
Forged in brimstone
And tempered
By the Wolf in tears of the Unavenged
And to carry him up on his journey
Back to the upper world
They brought forth
Their Demon horse
Called: Black Death
A grim steed
So fiercely might
And black in colour
That he could stand as one: Darkness...
Save from his burning eyes
of grims and fire
And on that night
They rode up from Hell
The pounding of his hooves
Did clap like thunder !
[Chorus:]
Burning, death, destruction
Raping the daughters and wives
In blood I take my payment
In foul with their lives
No one can escape me
On Black Death I ride
When kissed by the sword of Vengeance
Your head lays there by your side
I take the lives of all that I once knew
The torn flesh of a slow death waits for you
[Chorus:]
Burning, death, destruction
Raping the daughters and wives
In blood I take my payment
In foul with their lives
I spare that land of servants
My wake is slow dead there
I take their wives and daughters
They stand there watching, watching
Hoping to get my life
But when I'm through they know they must pay
[Chorus:]
Burning, death, destruction
Raping the daughters and wives
In blood I take my payment
In foul with they lives
With they lives
With they lives
With they lives

==========================

By moonlight we ride
Ten thousands side by side
With swords drawn held high
Our whips and armours shine
Hail to thee our infantry
Still brave beyond the grave
All sworn the eternal vow
The time to strike is now
[Chorus:]
Kill, kill, Oh !
Kill, kill, Oh !
Kill, kill, Oh !
Kill, kill, Oh !
Gone are the days when freedom shone
Now blood and steel meet bone
In the light of the battle's way
The sands of time will shade
How proud our Читать далее...

What does it take to open my eyes?
What does it take to register surprise?
What does it take to feel joy?
What does it take to feel pain?
Floors creak but doors are still
I’ve read all the books about being ill
I know the truth and truth knows I’m right
One day you’ll fear me in the night

nothing lasts forever but the certainty of change

Replace <name> with company name...
======

Oh Lord...
Who art on high...
Who has made...the blades of grass,
And the little tiny things that creep therein...
That hath made the cricket bats,
Who has made hankies, who has made...

All things...

Bless thou.....these people from <name>...
That they may so verily endow the people of this planet with pleasure and enjoyment,
That yea, they may verily increase four fold...
Their already-large sums of loot,
And enable them,
Here in this life to purchase maybe one other pair of trousers, each.

Oh Lord, thou who hast seen the trouser-less and hath compassion...
Look down upon them.

Thank you.

original : http://www.ibiblio.org/harris/500milemail.html

===
The case of the 500-mile email


Read the FAQ about the story.


The following is the 500-mile email story in the form it originally appeared, in a post to sage-members on Sun, 24 Nov 2002.:


From trey@sage.org Fri Nov 29 18:00:49 2002
Date: Sun, 24 Nov 2002 21:03:02 -0500 (EST)
From: Trey Harris <trey@sage.org>
To: sage-members@sage.org
Subject: The case of the 500-mile email (was RE: [SAGE] Favorite impossible
task?)

Here's a problem that *sounded* impossible... I almost regret posting the
story to a wide audience, because it makes a great tale over drinks at a
conference. :-) The story is slightly altered in order to protect the
guilty, elide over irrelevant and boring details, and generally make the
whole thing more entertaining.

I was working in a job running the campus email system some years ago when
I got a call from the chairman of the statistics department.

"We're having a problem sending email out of the department."

"What's the problem?" I asked.

"We can't send mail more than 500 miles," the chairman explained.

I choked on my latte. "Come again?"

"We can't send mail farther than 500 miles from here," he repeated. "A
little bit more, actually. Call it 520 miles. But no farther."

"Um... Email really doesn't work that way, generally," I said, trying to
keep panic out of my voice. One doesn't display panic when speaking to a
department chairman, even of a relatively impoverished department like
statistics. "What makes you think you can't send mail more than 500
miles?"

"It's not what I *think*," the chairman replied testily. "You see, when
we first noticed this happening, a few days ago--"

"You waited a few DAYS?" I interrupted, a tremor tinging my voice. "And
you couldn't send email this whole time?"

"We could send email. Just not more than--"

"--500 miles, yes," I finished for him, "I got that. But why didn't you
call earlier?"

"Well, we hadn't collected enough data to be sure of what was going on
until just now." Right. This is the chairman of *statistics*. "Anyway, I
asked one of the geostatisticians to look into it--"

"Geostatisticians..."

"--yes, and she's produced a map showing the radius within which we can
send email to be slightly more than 500 miles. There are a number of
destinations within that radius that we can't reach, either, or reach
sporadically, but we can never email farther than this radius."

"I see," I said, and put my head in my hands. "When did this start? A
few days ago, you said, but did anything change in your systems at that
time?"

"Well, the consultant came in and patched our server and rebooted it.
But I called him, and he said he didn't touch the mail system."

"Okay, let me take a look, and I'll call you back," I said, scarcely
believing that I was playing along. It wasn't April Fool's Day. I tried
to remember if someone owed me a practical joke.

I logged into their department's server, and sent a few test mails. This
was in the Research Triangle of North Carolina, and a test mail to my own
account was delivered without a hitch. Ditto for one sent to Richmond,
and Atlanta, and Washington. Another to Princeton (400 miles) worked.

But then I tried to send an email to Memphis (600 miles). It failed.
Boston, failed. Detroit, failed. I got out my address book and started
trying to narrow this down. New York (420 miles) worked, but Providence
(580 miles) failed.

I was beginning to wonder if I had lost my sanity. I tried emailing a
friend who lived in North Carolina, but whose ISP was in Seattle.
Thankfully, it failed. If the problem had had to do with the geography of
the human recipient and not his mail server, I think I would have broken
down in tears.

Having established that--unbelievably--the problem as reported was true,
and repeatable, I took a look at the sendmail.cf file. It looked fairly
normal. In fact, it looked familiar.

I diffed it against the sendmail.cf in my home directory. It hadn't been
altered--it was a sendmail.cf I had written. And I was fairly certain I
hadn't enabled the "FAIL_MAIL_OVER_500_MILES" option. At a loss, I
telnetted into the SMTP port. The server happily responded with a SunOS
sendmail banner.

Wait a minute... a SunOS sendmail banner? At the time, Sun was still
shipping Sendmail 5 with its operating system, even though Sendmail 8 was
fairly mature. Being a good system administrator, I had standardized on
Sendmail 8. And also being a good system administrator, I had written a
sendmail.cf that used the nice long self-documenting option and variable
names available in Sendmail 8 rather than the cryptic punctuation-mark
codes that had been used in Sendmail 5.

The pieces fell into place, all at once, and I again choked on the dregs
of my now-cold latte. When Читать далее...

качественная фильма...
---
Fuck me? Fuck you! Fuck you and this whole city and everyone in it. Fuck the panhandlers, grubbing for money, and smiling at me behind my back. Fuck squeegee men dirtying up the clean windshield of my car. Get a fucking job! Fuck the Sikhs and the Pakistanis bombing down the avenues in decrepit cabs, curry steaming out their pores and stinking up my day. Terrorists in fucking training. Slow the fuck down! Fuck the Chelsea boys with their waxed chests and pumped up biceps. Going down on each other in my parks and on my piers, jingling their dicks on my Channel 35. Fuck the Korean grocers with their pyramids of overpriced fruit and their tulips and roses wrapped in plastic. Ten years in the country, still no speaky English? Fuck the Russians in Brighton Beach. Mobster thugs sitting in cafés, sipping tea in little glasses, sugar cubes between their teeth. Wheelin' and dealin' and schemin'. Go back where you fucking came from! Fuck the black-hatted Chassidim, strolling up and down 47th street in their dirty gabardine with their dandruff. Selling South African apartheid diamonds! Fuck the Wall Street brokers. Self-styled masters of the universe. Michael Douglas, Gordon Gecko wannabe motherfuckers, figuring out new ways to rob hard working people blind. Send those Enron assholes to jail for fucking life! You think Bush and Cheney didn't know about that shit? Give me a fucking break! Tyco! Inclone! Adelphia! Worldcom! Fuck the Puerto Ricans. 20 to a car, swelling up the welfare rolls, worst fuckin' parade in the city. And don't even get me started on the Dom-in-i-cans, because they make the Puerto Ricans look good. Fuck the Bensonhurst Italians with their palmaded hair, their nylon warm-up suits, and their St. Anthony medallions. Swinging their, Jason Giambi, Louisville slugger, baseball bats, trying to audition for the Sopranos. Fuck the Upper East Side wives with their Armani scarves and their fifty-dollar Balducci artichokes. Overfed faces getting pulled and lifted and stretched, all taut and shiny. You're not fooling anybody, sweetheart! Fuck the uptown brothers. They never pass the ball, they don't want to play defense, they take fives steps on every lay-up to the hoop. And then they want to turn around and blame everything on the white man. Slavery ended one hundred and thirty seven years ago. Move the fuck on! Fuck the corrupt cops with their anus violating plungers and their 41 shots, standing behind a blue wall of silence. You betray our trust! Fuck the priests who put their hands down some innocent child's pants. Fuck the church that protects them, delivering us into evil. And while you're at it, fuck JC! He got off easy! A day on the cross, a weekend in hell, and all the hallelujahs of the legioned angels for eternity! Try seven years in fuckin' Otisville, Jay! Fuck Osama Bin Laden, Alqueda, and backward-ass, cave-dwelling, fundamentalist assholes everywhere. On the names of innocent thousands murdered, I pray you spend the rest of eternity with your seventy-two whores roasting in a jet-fueled fire in hell. You towel headed camel jockeys can kiss my royal, Irish ass!

South park, впрочем, тоже сильная фильма...
G. Bush: Questions?
some UN member/representative: Mr. President, are you just high or extremely stupid?
G. Bush: I assure ya, I'm not high!!!

I was born on the cemetery
Under the sign of the moon
Raised from my grave by the dead
I was made a mercenary
In the legions of hell
Now I'm king of pain, I'm insane

You know my only pleasure
Is to hear you cry
I'd love to hear you cry
I'd love to feel you die
And I'll be the first
To watch your funeral
And I'll be the last to leave
I'd love to hear you cry

как здесь принято писать - в наушниках именно оно...
Merciful Fate, "Melissa".

Оригинал - http://www.fleetmack.com/rants/trees.htm

Творения в My Mind довольно забавные...


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Save the trees, kill the animals

by Bryan Mack

10-22-02

Hippies really suck. Aspects of hippies are cool, don't get me wrong. TieDye shirts, Pink Floyd, Volkswagon vans - sure, these are cool. But man, they reek and say we need to "save the trees". They are partially right, we do need to save the trees - but not using wood as a resource is not the answer. We need buildings, we need furniture, we need paper - all of these are derived from trees. So yes - we need to cut down the trees and use them, but you know how we can save the trees? Kill the animals!

That's right - we need to start killing more animals in an effort to save the trees. There is nothing wrong with a bulldozer going out and plowing down an acre of trees if the result is lumber for my home, paper for my office to use, and furniture to make my house livable. Now why do you hippies think that is so wrong? In fact - the place where I bought all my furniture from is Oak Express. Do you realize that they actually plant trees? They aren't going out just selling wood they chop down - they sell it then re-plant it. So while they are using resources, they are replenishing them as well. Hell, I have even planted trees before - so I help the environment.

Now let's look at it this way - a beaver is walking through the forest and sees a tree. "Hmmm", says the Beaver, "I think i'll knaw on this beast until it falls down." Sure enough, within a matter of minutes - TIMBER!!! Down comes the tree. Not only has the beaver just knocked down a tree, but he now drags it into the water to build a home out of. Now - don't get me wrong, I did say earlier it is ok to build a home out of wood - but explain this to me. How come he gets a home in the middle of the river and moves every year - actually, several times each year. He just knaws down trees, drags them into the river - which as a result messes up the water flow - lives there awhile, then moves and cuts down more trees. Does he plant any trees after he knocks them down? No - he just chops them down, floods the area with his dam, leaves, and plants nothing. What a selfish little prick. I hate beavers, they suck. We should kill them all - they are depleting our forrests.

You animal rights activists need to make a choice here - as the Murderdolls say .... "In 197-6-6-6 I killed an animal rights activist, because animals - THEY AIN'T GOT NO RIGHTS!!!" And as maddox says on his page - "animals are only good for eating." damn right they are. animals suck. Now if you can tell me one GOOD reason we need beavers in this world (and i mean the animal you perverted fuck) and maybe i'll reconsider this thought. But seriously - is anyone going to have a conniption if we rid the world of beavers? I think not. What has a beaver ever done for you??? We need year-round beaver hunting worldwide - nukes are allowed.

Woodpeckers really fucking suck. They drill holes in all our trees causing imperfections in the wood that might otherwise be used for my new entertainment center. Why does a woodpecker do this? I don't get it - they drill holes in wood to catch bugs and insects to eat. Hey woody woodpecker - i have news for you - it turn's out that all insects don't reside in trees. you're damn beak is making too much noise. do you see me go ruin perfectly good trees whenever i'm hungry? no - because i'm concerned for our foilage in this beautiful world. you show no respect, woodpecker. you just peck and peck and peck holes in all our trees becuase you're hungry. I think we need to starve all the woodpeckers in the world - or just shoot them, either way is fine with me. Seriously - will you miss woodpeckers? If you think they're pretty to look at, I can assure you that somebody, somewhere has a picture of one. You can look at that. Screw woodpeckers. Even cartoon woodpeckers suck. woody laughs like a jackass. man he sucks.

Does this make sense? I honestly think it does. here are some figures for you that i completely made up, but consider them facts so this may seem more convincing...

average amount of trees used by a beaver in its lifetime: 50
average amount of trees ruined by a woodpecker : 1000
average amount of trees uesd by a human in a livetime: 150
average amount of trees EVER planted by a beaver or woodpecker: 0
amount of trees I have planted in my life: 3
amount of trees planted by environmentalists yearly: countless

as you can see - the "countless" number planted by environmentalists more than makes up for my personal lack of tree planting. On the other hand - the animals just destroy destroy destroy and never give back to the environment. Fuck them and they need to die. Keep knocking down the trees - just kill the animals who think they have a right to Читать далее...