..no matter what I do, all I think about is you.......

V MoskBy hochetsya, osobenno posle bessonniyh nochey, ....
Segodnya na rabote ob'yavil, chto do novogo goda pit' ne budu, dazhe piva.
Vse ponimyusche kivali, a potom s ironiyey govorili , chto russkiye pit' vsegda budut,.. Nadeyus' v etom godu ya svoyu godovoy plan pererabotki etilovogo spirta vyipolnil, i mne kazhetsya dazhe slihvoy. Ob'yavil, a potom vspomnil , chto v Faces&Names v ponedel'nik budet party, greh ne idti, ... ne znayu, mozhet i ne poydu... u menya midtown uzhe assotsiiryuyetsya s barami i tol'ko s nimi.
13 dney do NG..... Chto delat'...
ladno poydu ya spat' , zavtra final in my marketing class, I'll wake at 4am, to study,
hopefully.

Segodnya, posle schkolyi, s odnokurnitsey, poshli pit' pivo. Nu konechno eto delo odnim pivom ne ogranichelos', mne teper' tak styidno, tak kak ya bastard nechayano(chestno-prichestno) spoil bednuyu devushku, ne znayu kak ya teper' budu v glaza smotret'. Navernoye zavtra pozvonyu "polechitsya" predlozhu. I've had a lot of fun. For a long I went a strange bar, usually I go to one or two places, but often. Girlfriend wrote me a letter, asked me if I'm shocked, a wrote the only one word "yes", trying not to be cocksucker anymore.ha-ha. Pozavchera hodil v Madison Square Garden, na Rangers, byilo nemnogo skuchno, no tak kak biletyi byili dorogimi, sidel blilzko, nu a tak skukota dazhe Maker's&Coke ne podnyali moye nastroyeniye.
Chto delat' na noviy god?
Posovetuyte!!!!!! Ya pravda budu rabotat' do 3 utra, i oprasitsya nikak nel'zya.

So later on, I left for NYC, and we decided to break up, but I started to call her from here, and she said that she would wait for me.. So I'm here she is there, for the last couple months she e-mails me only if she needs money, doesn't thank me at all, I understand that it's been over 1.5 years I we havn't meet, and only now, I feel like giving her up, and really feel bad about it, because she pretty, smart, kind, and most of all she has red hair and green eyes , si miss her, and hope that we'll meet somday to reunite.
saaaaaaaaad, very sad.

We met (my girl and I), three and a half years ago. We liked each other when we at the very first look, . We went to the same college, the department, we lived in the same dorms, on the same floor, and I lived with her boyfriend in the same room. Sad:( But,, he was an asshole, looser, and he was really scared of me(eventually he dropped out of school). It all started when I came back to Russia from US. She had a boyfriend at that time( rich one, Audi A4, and all that bullshit). So nobody showed up for her birthadate except my friend and I,.. first kiss... Next day we had been thinking whether we needed that.. Both said YES, and after that moment I was the happiest man on this planet. to be continued( gotta go to sleep, I have class, in 4 hours, will do the rest tommorow) .

Poluchil, Nakoets-to, ya pis'mo ot nevesttyi, hotya uzhe podumyival, o yeyo otsrtanenii s etoy dolzhnosti. No ot etogo mne legche ne stalo. Pishet , chto shodit s uma, i bez deneg ostat'sya vmenyayemoy u neyo ne poluchitsya. Guess who must be her "sugar daddy"? Vobschem vsyo kak-to nesladko. Hotya mozhet kogda ya na ney zhenyus' ona uspokoitsya, Margaruta ved' tozhe s uma shodila... navernoye v moyey zhizni Annushka uzhe davnyim-davnom razlila maslo...
PS: Gde byi nayti M&M na english?

Segodnya ya ustal, vryu noch' ne spal..... zhdal pis'ma. Ne dozhdalsya. Razmechtalsya! No "pohoronku" ya poka otpravlyat' ne budu. Zavtra vstavat' v shest' utra, neohota, no nado. Segodnya zvonila matushka, govorit , chto byila nedelyu v Parise, govorit klyovo. Zavtra u otchima den' varen'ya i fruktov, nuzhno yemu pozvonit', obyazatel'no, yesli ne zabudu. Marinke segodnya zvonil, ona dumala , chto ya umer, a ya prosto v I-nete zabludilsya...Vot tak, pora bayun'ki..

Pochemu zhe ona mne ne pishet? Mozhet ne mozhet, mozhet ne hochet. A mne zdes' stradat' i perezhivat'?! Vot obizhus', naidu sebe znoynuyu Puerto-Ricanochku i pereyedu zhit' ne v MOskvu, a v Bronx. Budu bolet' za Yankees, nosit' Sean John i Timberland, vmesto lyubimyih Grindersov i potyortyih dzhins. Zavtra yesli ne napishet, poshlyu yey soboleznovaniya po povodu prezhdevremennoy konchine lyubimogo i pushistogo. ...
...Nu vsyo ravno mne ne spitsya(sleep, i mean)

dumayu, chto zavtra nuzhno budet podsrtichsya, a to menya dlinnyiye volosyi menya uzhe dostali. Ves' vecher, pryamo kak zhenschina, dumal, chto zavtra odet'. Vyibor pal na dzhinsah, futbolke "sbornya rossia", krossovkah,. Utrom i vecherom nuzhno budet uchit'sya, a dnyom ubivat' vremya, sigaretami, chteniyem, i proslushivaniyem staryih diskov. Vot tak vot, vremya letit, a posle menya ostayotsya pepel, pustiye batareyki, i kucha makulaturyi. Popyitka brosit' pit' v ocherednoy raz uvenchalas' polnoy i bezogovorochnoy pobedoy Guinessa, pechen' sdalas' bez boya. Pora spat'...

Opyat' ne spitsya, smotryu Coldplay na MTV, pro lyubov', blin. Hochetsya . ..
Zhit' gde-nibud' v Village, Chelsea, Tribeca. Hochetsya... noviye chasyi, telephon, ... hochetsya popast' v Columbia University, hochetsya izuchat' isskustvo, kogda nado uchit' marketing. Hochetsya novoy zhizni. A chto togda delat' so staroy? Ne vyikidyivat' zhe yeyo na svalku?

Nikuda segodnya ne hodil, tol'ko spal... Hochetsya lyubvi, svetloy prisvetloy,
i vesyoloy vesyoloy. A v New yorke holoda...

Inogda, hochetsya shto-nibud' napisat', . Prosto tak- v nikuda. Kogda grust'-toska uzhe oblgladala vse kosti. teper' budu, .....k tomu zhe ya segodnya pit' brosil,.. Tak styidno za vcherashneye....