Something I should say to you? Something I wanted to tell you before you went?

Scared to be shamed by own tears? But the most of all I wanted to turn to you again, run to you, call out your name, catch, hold, feel and don't let you go away.

Maybe you want me to do something more for you, maybe I just blind and I see through these things...? Do I?

But you have to know... never in my life I have loved somebody so high like I love you, Steffen. I never felt the same for somebody else. You are the only one for me.

And I never ment to hurt you, honey...and never will, I promise. And I will be here for you so long you wish. And I feel me happy and lucky just when I look at you. When I look into your deep beautiful eyes, at your nice face...at you... Maybe I'm not saying it too often, but I mean it.. I do mean you are the wonderfulest guy I've ever seen.

I love your voice, your lips, your warm..And I love everything about you.

I'll be anything for you, I'll do all just for you...Just to see your sweet smile and know, that you're happy too.

You are the only one who can understand me, make me happy like a child...and I'm yours...forever...so long you wish. I will be yours, darling.

Can't you feel my heart beating? It's doing it just for you. It belongs only to you, dear.

And every my breath, my smile, my second of life belongs only to you.

I'm so afraid to be left alone... Please, don't close your heart for me...

You're all that I'm living for... <3

P.S. Can I have a kiss? :D

Can I steal you next night?

Can I be your cookie? ^^,

He's mine, suckers! xD <3

Brain takes a holydayz!

Me too.

I just tired of back-kissing to everybody at school I hate to take a good grades.

It's a politic to every organisation.

They tell us to be honest, just good nice word, but they ment us to be hypocrisy.

And every day I have to go at this freakshow, look at their eyes, which ment to be "honest",

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Forgotten.

Sometimes, I think , that I bring much more pain than everybody, like "normal people".

I feel empty.

The most of all I want to hug you now and don't let you go away.

I wish I could show you how strong and high my love is. But I just can't.

'Cause the words just don't bring the understanding.

Everybody can talk about feelings and about love. Just nice words without emotions and feeling inside it. Empty just like me.

But nobody knows how much I need you. And how much I care.

I can't show it with words. Maybe I hurt you sometimes and you think I don't care. But I do. I really care, honey.

And I'm so afraid to miss you.

I need you. Really.

You're all that I am.

Every dream I hear you're screaming. And I have to wake up to stop it.

Please, go away, please, let it be, left me ...forever.

Every memory about you is like a thousand knives in my neck.

Summer, red sky. Emptiness inside. Forget.

I've got myself to be stronger, stronger than I was before. And than you for it, thanks for the momories.

I didn't broke my promise, you know.

You teached me to be stroger than my emotions, my feeling, than you.

All days I changed myself...with you, without you.

I didn't can, you didn't care.

You brought more, much more evil than glad in my life.

I took the mask on your face by myself, but it was just cold smile you could show me. You're empty.

You have no reasons or rules in your life. You're cold, with all your childish fears in your broken heart.

Please, don't be the reason of my posts. And I think, while post I'm wasting of you kills me, drinks up my soul.

I don't want. It's over, enough.

Thank you for the help I used to change my self and understand what I am.

Perfect lesson.

Go-Away-From-My-Head.

Never forget,never fogive

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Every piece of my heart belongs to you, Steffen <3

I miss your laugh, I miss your smile,
I miss everything about you...
Every second's like a minute,
Every minute's like a day
When you're far away...
The snow is getting colder, darling,
And I Wish You Were Here...
A battlefield of love and fear,
And I Wish You Were Here...
I've got feelings for you,
From the first time I laid my eyes on you...

<3

I can wrie "I LOVE YOU" on every page of my dairy, but it will be not enough, not better than my tauch on your skin, honey.

And every day with you like a God's present for me.

I trust you, I want you, I feel you, I miss you, I love you...

When feeling are too strong, I can't say anything more.

I do everything for you, dear.

You're the only mine <3

The only one for me <3 =***

This night is funny brutal.

When I phoned my best friend, I tried to open the door of my bathroom.

And I kept my trying until my door broke up 0:-)

I remember, that some years ago I tried to open the door of the bathroom in my sister's apartmant and I've broken a metall loss.

So you can call me doorbreaker now..thihi

Good night everyone.

Have a nice dreams

=***

Bathroom Fun :D

I have a best freak friendess ever! XD
 Do you remember? Chokochokochoko XD hahaha
I can't just stop my laught, it's comming out every second I look at our madness.
 I love you babe ^^,

By the way....

Tomorrow I will meet you, honey ^^

My boyfrind is also best ever :)

***

Happy just to feel that I have these people.

Light in my life.

 The holidays have begun! The last friday it was a little bit cold, but who cares. All the thoughts were abot spring. It's smells spring. and you feel it. Anywhere. You can find this spring in the smiles of people, laught of children, colour of spring flowers, new rainy days. And so on. But no one seems just to try to look at this. Sadly :/

What about me? This weekend was amazing! Yeah. Me and my boyfriend ate pizza last night. We just wanted to go for a walk, but it was a freezing cold wind and snow. We went to La Perla just to hide ourselves from this nightmare weather. I looked terrible out. With a hot red skin and black cirkles under my eyes. Steffen looked like a snowman. But the day was perfect! Yes, it was.

Everything was perfect, just NOT the morning.

Yesterday I understood that I can bring so much pain to my mother. Enemies? Not. But I said much more I shouldn't say. Anyways. I lost myself. I feel empty. Empty inside. I never thought I can scream at her, say these words she never will forget. Not me.

I should wish I would be her dream's daughter. But I'm not. All I can do is just pain.

Rain..rain outside...and inside.

Sorry... I will be better. I promise

Jane Lane