На самом деле это бородатые английские анекдоты, но если добавить к ним мораль...
1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps
herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there
stands Bob,the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, «I'll give
you $800 to drop that towel.» After thinking for a moment, the woman drops
her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands
her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes
back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, «Who was
that?» «It was Bob the next door neighbor,» she replies. «Great!» the
husband says, «Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?»
Moral of the story: If you share critical information perta
2
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all
day. A Rabbit asked him, «Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day
long?»
The crow answered: «Sure, why not.» So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow, and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,
you must be sitting very high up.
3
A turkey was chatting with a bull. «I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree» sighed the turkey, but I have not” got the energy.» «Well,
why dont you nibble on my droppings?» replied the bull. «They are packed
with nutrients.» The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave
him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a
fourth night, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he
was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of
the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullcrap might get you to the top,
but it wont keep you there.
4
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an
accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up
her leg. The nun said, «Father, remember Psalm 129?» The priest removed his
hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun
once again said, «Father, remember Psalm 129?» The priest apologized
«Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.»
Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, «Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.»
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.
5
Rohit woke up one fine morning with a huge hangover. He forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he saw is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sat down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.
Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. «Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!»
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, «Son, what happened last night?»
His son says, «Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hall
hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door».
Totally Confused, Rohit asks, «So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!»
His son replies, «Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said , «hey !!!!!!! leave me alone! I am married!»
MoralBreakfast Rs. 100.00
Self-induced hangover Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture Rs. 20,000.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk - PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6
A mother took her little boy to church.
While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee."
The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper'."
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his Father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper."
The Father looked at him and said, "Okay, just whisper in my ear."
Moral: if there are several manageres all shall be informed about agreements.
7
woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son - to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
She
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