В колонках играет - music for soul
Настроение сейчас - lost

28.02.2007
Sometimes life gives us a useless hope making us dream and wish it to become true, though we don’t want to understand that it won’t ever become true because we’re too weak and indecisive to make the first move… and time is running out…soon the moment that used to be so real will turn into another page of memories, may be even gloomy or painful…….. Who can help me??? Seems no one and that thing soon will make me cry. I can feel the depression filling me from day to day more and more, eating and burning me inside, that’s even worse than death………..

And everything’s because of
a creature with
bandy legs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

В колонках играет - music for soul
Настроение сейчас - depressed

27.02.2007
AND IN THE NIGHT IT WILL BE CREEPING AND YOU WILL FEEL HOW YOUR LOST SOUL IS LEAVING YOU, MAY BE FOREVER… SO WHY WON’T YOU STOP IT????????

В колонках играет - music for soul
Настроение сейчас - funny))

18.02.2007
Today my friend told me the funny truth about herself (i.e. Sveta is a piece if meat walking with Svetly)
I could convince myself and my friends that the World is close one more time.
And now who cares what height do you have, you can make yourself higher if you want to.
AND SOMEONE IS STILL TRYING TO PERSUADE ME THAT MY “DESTINY” IS THAT KIND OF A SHORTY!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP BLAMING ME! I’M NOT YOUR TOY ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

В колонках играет - Bullet for my Valentine
Настроение сейчас - thoughtless.......

17.02.2007
At last I’ve downloaded the full song)))))))
That means that I have only 5 more left
Today I could see how foolish these mortals may be, how helpless and useless…. They are trying to prove that they are worthy you but they can’t even imagine how weak and miserable they really are….
But I know and You know it as well….
I hate when people are trying to predict my future the way I’m even afraid to imagine, they sometimes seem unstoppable in that way and don’t know what they are saying

В колонках играет - ThreeDays Grace
Настроение сейчас - thoughtless.......

16.02.2007
The One who is dreamless, Breathless and Fearless……

В колонках играет - Soundtrack to the" Queen Of The Damned"
Настроение сейчас - indecisive

15.02.2007
Sometimes it’s funny to see that people need you and when you need people it’s not like a part of a regular routine but still that pisses off cause the result you’ve been waiting of them hasn’t been accomplished or hasn’t come up to their mind yet…..

В колонках играет - Mudvayne
Настроение сейчас - a bit depressed

29.01.2007
“It took so long to say…..
You walked away from me when I need you!!!!!!!”
Now it seems I’m fading, but that’s just the beginning of the future nightmare…
I will get over it somehow, my happy ending’s closer now…
So predictable…. But what else you can wait from a human))))

В колонках играет - Noir
Настроение сейчас - relaxed

28.01.2007
“Bon Appetite” was said and the phone was hung up. Sometimes it’s even pleasant to do nothing, especially after the exhausting time when you were studying something in the university. That may sound selfish but I deserved it))) and I don’t care if someone thinks different!!! Though my holidays cause some trouble. The very first is that I’m sitting at my computer all day long and it seems to me that I’m becoming a computer addict. That makes me nervous a little bit, but I think when I’ll get back to my studies everything will be fine as usual)))

В колонках играет - Apocalyptica
Настроение сейчас - peacefull

27.01.2007
“Suddenly I felt so alone......” that was written on one of the pictures which my friends used to adore.
The day seemed not bad, though it was cold outside you could always stay at your sweet and cozy house. ”This house is not my home, I think I’m better off alone”, that’s one of the quotes that ADAM used in his songs, in this very case I guess he could mean something else as concerns my house I have no person to come to, so maybe that’s why I may sometimes or most of the times be irritated with the things that are happening in here. I don’t feel happiness and that pisses me off((((

В колонках играет - Cematory
Настроение сейчас - can't really define.....but guess more good emotions that negative))

26.01.2007
I wasn’t able to know what I was feeling back then.
“This is gonna be our dream, mine and yours”, you used to say.
But there’s no way to make everyone happy. It won’t ever be, cause someone will always feel sadness in his heart…….
Even though they will keep on hoping, because that’s the nature of a human being.
They can’t live if there’s nothing to gain , no one to rely on, no path to move on and no HoPe.

В колонках играет - Soilwork
Настроение сейчас - can't really define.....

25.01.2007
Why have you decided life’s unfair??
I also can’t bare this path anymore
But that doesn’t give me an opportunity to lose everything and leave this world….
I didn’t wanna breathe though I got over IT somehow))))
Time is mine
YOU can also own it if you’re strong enough.
But still, you’re too short tempered and blind, (absolutely) and not ready to change anything. I’m not even mentioning something like changing EvErYtHiNg.
It’ll take you eternity
AND you don’t have such a treasure……
That’s why you are destroying everything on your way…….

В колонках играет - Sentenced
Настроение сейчас - ))))

13.12.2007
I don’t understand why things are happening that way. I used to do everything in a right way and it turned out to be sh**t. the feeling of depression doesn’t leave my soul even for a minute. WHY IS IT HAPPENING TO ME, I HATE THIS AGONY, I DESPISE, I CANT BARE, I LOATHE AND ABHORE, BUT STILL I CANT GET YOU OUT , YOU’VE STUCK THERE DON’T KNOW WHAT FOR, I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE……….
AND WHO WOULD TELL ME NOW WHAT SHOULD I DO TO GET RID OF YOU, so that it won’t be painful anymore????????? Help me to have a try, I need it you know why cause you’ve felt the same way and managed to get along with it or even get rid of it even with the price of your own reputation or inner feelings you never told me till the end, you know I need your defend. And after that I hope ill manage to become stronger and smarter and won’t be treated like that, I won’t regret, but without your help I feel mislead……..RIGHT NOW I FEEL SO DEAD INSIDE… I HOPE THAT’S NOT MY END CAUSE I STILL HAVENT DONE ONE THING – I HAVENT FOUND YOU TO TELL EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

В колонках играет - Sentenced...
Настроение сейчас - )))

13.12.2007
I don’t understand why things are happening that way. I used to do everything in a right way and it turned out to be sh**t. the feeling of depression doesn’t leave my soul even for a minute. WHY IS IT HAPPENING TO ME, I HATE THIS AGONY, I DESPISE, I CANT BARE, I LOATHE AND ABHORE, BUT STILL I CANT GET YOU OUT , YOU’VE STUCK THERE DON’T KNOW WHAT FOR, I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE……….
AND WHO WOULD TELL ME NOW WHAT SHOULD I DO TO GET RID OF YOU, so that it won’t be painful anymore????????? Help me to have a try, I need it you know why cause you’ve felt the same way and managed to get along with it or even get rid of it even with the price of your own reputation or inner feelings you never told me till the end, you know I need your defend. And after that I hope ill manage to become stronger and smarter and won’t be treated like that, I won’t regret, but without your help I feel mislead……..RIGHT NOW I FEEL SO DEAD INSIDE… I HOPE THAT’S NOT MY END CAUSE I STILL HAVENT DONE ONE THING – I HAVENT FOUND YOU TO TELL EVERYTHING!!!!!!!

В колонках играет - Lacuna Coil
Настроение сейчас - Could be better........

09.12.2007
Things are sometimes happening not the way we want them to be, but, unfortunately we can seldom guess where our destiny is going to take us on her wings. The decision is always unknown and tempting, though things may turn out the way we couldn’t even imagine. And if we could only (slightly open the curtain of something secret and novel) we could become a little bit wiser and more careful about our deeds and wishes. We often can’t distinguish the real thing we want; only when time passes we may see, though not always, the genuine reason of the wished one.

I don’t know why I have chosen you. Maybe I was taken into by you pretty smile, maybe you came across as a very reliable & optimistic person (exactly what I need), or something inside me has just blown off the rest of my sound mind???)) Everything is possible… But still… WHY CANT I SLEEP CALM WHEN I FEEL YOUR BREATH BEHIND MY BACK???


It had happened long ago, I even didn’t know what was the real world like back then. Everything seemed so simple and clear, no one even could imagine that lies may filter in(to) our little paradise. But as ADAM says “shit happens”, so it didn’t make us wait for too long. Nothing remains the same after the hurricane, and only in the eye of the storm you may still feel safe and strong enough to go on living, though you can’t really call this life, more looks like surviving. An endless nightmare that would be filling your soul until finally you won’t give up and become its slave. Not everyone can bare it. If I didn’t have you I don’t know how I could manage to get out of this hell. Seemed like I was drowning though I was still able to make a gulp of air, I couldn’t feel anything, everything was like in the mist, its like I’ve become blind not only in this reality but also my inner world could no more identify right from wrong, top from bottom, nothing, just darkness…. Endless darkness. It was creeping inside of me, in the night I could feel its cold breath, I had no idea what did I have to do with this, (I couldn’t look help from nowhere, so I just kept on wasting all the time doing nothing… the reason is that I’m not used to asking for help, it makes me feel so helpless that I start to hate myself.) the decision couldn’t come from nowhere, but you keep on waiting and hope that everything will be solved somehow. Time is passing by, it ruins you, and tries to subdue and if you won’t it would be slaying you slowly, watching your helplessness cause there won’t be way out back then.
You were the only one I could trust, whom could rely on, who could explain me everything, cause it used to be your hell.


Blind me with your shine!!!!
Show me the way out!!!
Help me! Give me sign!
I am screaming loud!!!!
Free me from the lies
That is shrouding me!!!
Help me with advice!
Help me to foresee!!!
I thought it was curtains for me…..
I couldn’t my real way see…. (I couldn’t see my reality)
I thought that way it wouldn’t be……
Somebody help me to set myself free…………….

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