The unanimous Declaration of the students of Montville High
When in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one Group to dissolve the Ties which have connected them to an educational Institution, and to assume the separate Station to which the Laws of Nature entitle them, a decent Respect for the Organization of Bureaucracy requires that they should declare the Causes which impel them to the Separation.
We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all People are created by the same Design, that by Virtue of the Fact of their Humanness they are endowed with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Sleep, Health, and the Pursuit of Happiness.—That no Institution of Education is justified in taking away these the Rights of the Educated.—That whenever any Institution of Education becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right of the Educated, and the Educating, to alter or abolish it, and to institute a new System, laying its Foundations on such principles as will in no way violate the aforementioned Rights. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Institutions long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience has shewn, that Teenagers nad Educators are more disposed to follow the Rule of common yet inhumane Law, while the Evil is sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Form to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a Design to collect them under the same absolutely unbearable System, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to disestablish such an Institution, and to provide new Guards for their future Education. –Such has been the patient Sufferance of these Students; and such is now the Necessity which forces them to alter their former System of Education. The History of the present Board of Education is one of repeated Injuries, all having in direct Object the Establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these Teenagers and Educators. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid World.
They do not allow for sufficient Sleep, the most elementary of human Necessities, especially in the time of such dramatic Growth as are the teenage Years.
They install extreme and unachievable time Constraints between Classes, disallow Running in the Hallways, and severely punish us as we walk through the Door even a Second too late, even though it is almost impossible to be punctual under the aforementioned Constraints.
They purchase Books which are too heavy for us to carry and expect us to feel Gratitude that we are given these Books.
They appoint Persons for the Execution of these torturous Studies, and fail to provide them with sufficient Pay.
The Persons appointed for the Execution of these Studies are oftentimes presented with Curriculum alien to their own personal Styles and Beliefs, and are expected to follow these Rules, even while provided with insufficient Pay to entice them into doing so, while Failure to comply results in cruel Punishment.
The Curriculum which they present to the Persons appointed for the Execution of these Studies is disorganized, unplanned, and irrelevant to our Education, Future, and Well-being, yet we are expected to waste away our Lives memorizing the unnecessary Facts therein, instead of fulfilling the crucial Sleep they deny us.
They encourage the Persons appointed for the Execution of these Studies to force upon us a superabundant Workload, Failure to complete which results in disproportionately extreme Ramifications, and do not consider that we are too fatigued to complete the Work because they themselves deprive us of our Sleep.
They overemphasize Attendance and Marks, and pay no Heed to our physical and mental Needs, among which are Sleep, Recess between Classes, and a constant Change of Scenery from Classrooms to other learning Environments, which they know would undoubtedly be beneficial to our Health, Happiness, and Education.
Though they so inhumanely deprive us of our Sleep, the Causes for this Torture are scandalous and sordid—the Encouragement of Sport among us, particularly American Football (as if they are concerned for our Health and physical Well-being) and Conservation of transportation Funds.
Though they knowingly deprive us of our Sleep and our other Necessities for their own acquisitive Causes, they, when presented with Opportunity to show Mercy and award us with well-deserved Days of Rest, cruelly ignore our Needs and force us to wake and go to School anyway, lowering our Morale and adding to our already immense Fatigue.
They boast of their shrewd Management as the Key to this Institution’s Attainment of its excellent Reputation, though the present good Name of Montville was achieved by the Efforts of its Pupils and Teachers alone, whom they brutally torture with sleep Deprivation and other Practices.
Though Montville is one of the wealthiest Districts in the Nation and even
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