my mom and l were talking about how cute people look when they sleep and the 1st face that came on my mind belongs to this sweet iranian guy,,,Meysam opens his eyes just like a kid trying to figure out what's going on...not willing to wake up and just smiling and then getting horny and playful and l dunno,,,he is amazing,,,is he the one? no, definetely not,,,altho it was such a magic and wonderful night that we should really get together again...

l met Seva at da dreak,,,noticed him right away when l was gettin my drink...and then on the dance floor ...he looked so cute and funny..we talked a bit and exchanged our numbers when he left...yesterday he called and we went to il patio,,,not that l like the place but i did not really care,,anyway,,, the glamorous high class guy turned out to be very nice and friendly and whats the most important---he's a very ambitious and independent person...and he just turned 19!!!! very mature for his age(:
l really enjoyed the time we spent together and it is a pity he has to work so much and l have to leave soon...anyway l am so happy to have met him
....it happens all the time that l meet cute and sweet guys when l have to leave the country,,,why? just another rethorical question....
Meysam called me today coz he had not heard from me for a good while and wanted to know why in the world my ass was still in kz(like this is not the most important question lately):
l dunno what exactly is going on between him and l but he does freak me out sometimes,,,or may be it is just my paranoya affecting me,,,anyhow,,,gotta leave this place

emu uzhe ne 32 goda...i on uzhe ne tot, kogo ya vstretila tem yarkim letom,,,i my uzhe ne peresekaemsya gdeto v evrope,,,i on uzhe ne edet v kz igrat trance,,,a vse pochemu?
potomu chto s techeniem vremeni nektr lyudi proyavlyayut tendentsiyu k zaprygivaniyu v ser'eznye otnosheniya s letalnym ishodom---brakom....


zhest' kakayato,,,nado pomenshe lazit po netu i uznavat duratskie novosti

zato smotrela sednya rubalku na utok v luisiane...mega veselo bylo
utki simpotichnye ochen (:
padayut smeshno mahaya kryl'yami,,,do isterik prosto (:

tyazhko bez bratki...prihozhu v mm vse sprashivayut pro nego i v dafe skuchno nemnogo bez ego tantsev,,,rugani i vysmeivaniya vseh,,,ya davno tak ne napivalas',,,nachalos vse doma u Yury vmeste s ego roditelyami po sluchayu ego 22uhletiya,,,potom vstretila kuchu znakomyh i poneslos',,,dalshe ya pomnyu vse vspyshkami,,,kakieto malchiki vezde,,,alcool,,,dymyashaysya sigareta,,ya ponyala chto nado ostnovitsya, kogda uvidela na tantspole Marco...eto uzhe sovsem po tyazheloi...
ah da eshe pristavala v mm k 17tiletnemu malchiku...tozhe veselo bylo....
pogovorila sednya s Olezhei,,,klevo chto ktoto podderzhal na temy S.
i ponyal menya,,,,a ot malysha ya i pravda ne ozhidala takogo,,.no navernoe vse k luchshemy sluchaetsya,,,,
ladno, nado dvigatsya dal'she
zhdu zvonka ot Ali,,,neuzheli ya skuchayu? dumayu chto net,,i po Pierre ne skuchayu,,,mozhet nemnozhechko po Jacob...
vse..pora

В колонках играет - belye korabliki
Настроение сейчас - drum'n'bass

poslednie dni v uae...ya starayus podolshe provodit vremeni v svoem lyubimom "manhattan" i moe,,,nu i konechno zhe ryadom s dorogimi mne lyud'mi,,,vchera za mnoi zaehal Ali v burjuman i poehali v moe...tam vstretilas s frantsuzami,,,Pierre vstretil menya, chtoby provesti v bar...
---vy snova vchetverom
--nu da, my kak paltsy odnoi ruki(rastopyrivaet paltsy)
--prikolno
---a ty nash mizinchik, ty zhe u nas malenkaya-tebe dazhe pit' nel'zya....
....
--ya ne hochu uezgat
--ya znayu...no ty zhe skoro vernyashsya
--da,,navernoe
--i togda ya pokazhu tebe svoyu novuyu kvratiru (glaza zagorayutsya)
--nadeyus' ona budet uzhe zastavlena...

kstati, on kupil divan ktr my vmeste prismotreli,,,

voobshem ya myslenno uzhe s'ezdila domoi i vernulas obratno(:

my vstretilis' v tom zhe meste gde i poznakomilis...kupili mne tel.
posmotreli emu mebel' v ego novuyu kvartiru...potom poshli v lounge bar Apres i menya pervyi raz ne ostanovili---vse izza ego bezuprechno stilnogo bizzness kostyuma i povedeniya... (:
neponyatno kak my napilis vsyakoi glamurnoi gadost'yu v vide fruktovyh kokteilei...s nim tak prikolno,,,vse krugom tverdyat chto ne mozhet byt paren' uspeshnym na rabote, krasivym i pri etom derzkim...a Pierre takoi...mozhno prosto beskonechno dolgo smotret drug na druga...ili obsuzhdat Sartra, RHCP, otnosheniya lyudei ili otnoshenie lyudei k zhizni...ochen' priyatno sidet' v bare i videt' chto on samyi samyi iz vseh etih loshenyh manov...samoe glavnoe chto ryadom s nim ya mogu spokoino byt soboi, ne sderzhivaya temperament i prochee i emu eto nravitsya....kogda my vyvalilis iz bara, sprava ot vhoda stoyala telezhka gruzhennaya svezhei petrushkoi---nastolko sochnogo yarkogo tsveta chto ya ne uderzhalas i otorvala malen'kuyu vetochku.. kontrastno derzko

menya zabral Jacob
my poehali na more
kupalnika u menya estestvenno ne bylo chto ne ostanovilo menya ot nebolshogo zaplyva (:
usnula v mashine po doroge domoi...prosnuvshis v 3 utra zahotela french fries i emu prishlos iskat 24 7 fast food...utrom menya chut li ne na pinah pognali na rabotu (:

smeshno kak inye lyudi dumayut chto mogut chtoto zabrat u tebya...tvoi sekrety, tainy---vozmozhno, esli u tebya oni est',,,tvoi pisma?-da, no eto zhe tolko sledstvie chegoto nastoyahego...no tvoei zhizni oni zabrat ne mogut,,,tak zhe kak i chuvstv opredelennyh lyudei,,,i esli i pytayutsya chtoto sdelat' nizkoe, to delayut huzhe sebe i tol'ko sebe...i neuzheli do sih por neponyatno chto nuzhno zhit' svoei zhizn'yu a ne pytatsya razrushit' chuzhuyu? miserable pathetic people who l really feel sorry for
wake up!!!!!!!!!

samoe prekrasnoe v etom chto eshe luchshe stanovyatsya otnosheniya s temi nemnogimi lyud'mi ktr okazyvayutsya ryadom i podderzhivayut...mir prekrasen..i eto chernoe pyatno eshe yarche ottenyaet i vysvechivaet vse yarkoe chto est' v moei zhizni
otdelnoe spasibo moei Lene...

segodnya bylo sobranie na rabote a eshe vydavali zarplatu (:
skoro edu pokupat novuyu sotku
Pierre pomozhet vybrat'
wohooo!!! my vstrechaemsya v restoranchike gde poznakomilis a ottuda---pokaryat' MOE, samyi bolshoi mall v mire (:
do sih por ne znayu kakuyu sotku ya hochu
dumayu s kameroi i walkman,,,sony ericsson vsetaki,,hz hotya
eshe nado kakto na more zaskochit
hotya cheto sil uzhe malo
mozhet na lyzhah pokatatsya? sdaetsya mne u etogo chela ne slishkom s golovoi vporyade
blin dazhe domoi ne zaedu pereodetsya
horosho chto u nas rabochaya forma---dzhinsy i raspizdyaiskie maiki...
vcheta eshe raz posmotrela krasotu po amerikanski,,,eto navernoe odin iz filmov gde kazhdyi raz otkryvaesh chtoto novoe dlya sebya,,,
potom posmotrela svoi shtatovskie i moskovskie foto i stalo nemnogo grustno,,,
ladno
nado prodolzhat rabotat...cherez chasik uzhe na vstrechu

v pyatnitsu my gulyali utrom po moe,,,posmotreli garry potter s Jacob-om
zasypala ves film
to li ya vyrosla nakonets to li noch'yu spat' nado bylo (:
dnem pospala doma na ville a vecherom poehali v batuta mall i snova v moe
tam ya vstretila Pierre,,,byla prosto v shoke---okazyvaetsya lyagushatniki mogut byt takimi milymi (:
a eshe na vopros o myzyke on skazal: RHCP---5 ballov malchegu
nas ne mogli otorvat drug ot druga kogda my obsuzhdali smenu gitaristov v gruppe i voobshe istoriyu v obshem...
vchera ya pozvonila emu uznat kak dela...v itoge v chetverg snova vstrechaemsya (:
wohoo

prishla domoi v 6 utra
pospala 3 chasa i na rabotu
snova vihr del i prochee
govorila s bratom...
on gorditsya mnoi!!
a eshe on skoro peredet v Afganistan
vot,,,
ya nakonets skazala emu spasibo...
za to chto bylo i za to chto est'
ladno, prodolzhayu chitat Bradberry

segodnya uzhe vtornik, chetverg po almatinskim ponyatiyam---ostalos eshe 2 dnya raboty i dolgozhdannaya pyatnitsa
my uzhe zaranee stroim plany potomu chto glupo vpustuyu tratit svoi edinstvennyi vyhodnoi...
lichno ya hochu pokatatsya po pustyne,,,devchonki zhelayut poiti po magazinam, a malchiki vrode hotyat na more...tak chto hz kak ono vyidet
no ya uzhe znayu, s kem by ya hotela provesti etot den---s Jacob-om
s nim tak veselo govorit o vsyakoi erunde, lazit po palmam i kidatsya finikami/rakushkami, valyatsya na peske i smotret na nebo ili ezdit po nashei glushi pod nazvaniem Mirdiff i ne nahodit nichego krome bezhevo-korichnevyh pohozhih drug na druga vill i palmovyh derev'ev...
cherez paru nedel on uedet v the usa a ya v kz a potom chertz znaet kogda eshe uvidimsya
vchera prosto boltali po sotovomu, ya lezhala na vnutrennem dvorike nashei villy na travke, smotrele na zvezdnoe nebo i proletayushie samolety...takoi teplyi tihii vecher...
seichas tolko govorili po tel..mozhet segodnya vstretimsya
posmotrim (:

shas edu na ob'ekt
sledit za uborkoi indusov
ato oni mogut realno nakosyachit (:

eshe poluchila pisma ot Nate i Marco, bez pisem ot moih moryakov bylo by namnogo skuchnee...

u menya v golove kasha...grebanyi lapot gonit a na rabote zaebali vse prosto
hochu spat
2 chasa vse taki malo...
obidila Marco zachemto...
a Nate
i voobshe zachem my tak mnogo motaemsya po miru? ved kogda nahodish blizkogo chelovechka tebya vse ravno unosit kudato kakayato sila...vidimo inertsiya
tak vot
zato ostalis rakushki ktr my vmeste sobirali

izza pereleta vstrecha byla perenesena...ya dumala vstretitsya segodnya on reshil chto luchshe vchera...v itoge ya priehala k nemu v ofis...posledoval jack daniels...progulka po zalivu....dush pri svechah....i.......(:
davno tak krepko i horosho ne spala i rabotaetsya namnogo legche segodnya(:
segodnya snova vstrechaemsya po idee, mozhet po klubam poidem
ne znayu provesti vecher s nim ili s V. na ohotu...
tak vot....

vizu dali pozge izza etogo perenesli perelet na vecher vtornika, to est na segodnya
vsledstvie togo vstrecha s Meysamom perenesena na etot vecher...vchera napisal "wish u were here"...potom pozvonil,,,tak klevo bylo ego uslyshat'...u nego takoi nezhnyi vkradchivyi golos...sprosil vo skolko ya vernus', mozhno li budet vstretitsya...gde ya zhivu---zaedet za mnoi,,,voobshem, ya dolzhna budu pozvonit emu kak doberus do ofisa i dovezu svoih kolleg,,,nadeyus' on otvezet menya na more...ya ochen' po nemu soskuchilas',,,takzhe kak i po horoshei solnechnoi pogodke, nochnomu gorodu i 50 gradusnoi zhare (:
priyatno dumat' chto uzhe vecherom ya budu v Dubai, ryadom budet ochen' milyi temnenkiy' mal'chik...potm 2 dnya raboty i vyhodnoi...prosto super!!!

my govorili okolo polu chasa,,,a potom perepisyvalis' neskolko nedel',,,my oba v dubai no zanyaty
potom ya v dubai a on v irane
on priezgaet v uae-ya uezgayu v kz
ne mogu otpravit emu sms
kakto v itoge samoe korotkoe soobshenie("how r u?") uhodit
on sprashivaet, kogda vernus'
ya ne otvechayu...prosto net deneg na kartochku,,,on zvonit mne no ya ne slyshu zvonka,,,
vot takaya stranaya istoriya poluchilas u nas s zamechatelnym (tak i hochetsya vstavit' "zagorelym kareglazym milym i ochen' ochen' sladkim") mal'chikom po imeni Meysam....
ya hochu pozvonit emu zavtra
skazat chtoby on nichego ne planiroval na ponedelnik...a mozhet priehat i srazu pozvonit',,,poiti kushat' morozhenoe v BR ili mozhet DQ, nevazhno...potom poehat' na more...chert, ya skuchayu po moryu...ili prosto pokatatsya po nochnomu gorodu...i pofig vo skolko zakonchitsya rabota...ya ochen' hochu provesti etot vecher s nim...i nadeyus nashi zhelaniya sovpadut...
ya dumayu posle pochti goda holodnyh polzovatelskih otnosheniy ya vsetaki hochu chgoto svetlogo i horoshego,,,i mozhet ya stroyu illyuzii, no on tak pohozh na cheloveka s ktr eto svetloe mozhno postroit',,,

vsetaki pozvonyu zavtra---prosto hochu uslyshat ego golos,,,eto tak klassno chto vsetaki ktoto eshe mozhet vyzvat vo mne takoe glupoe detskoe zhelanie (:

2 b continued

strannyi segodnya den'..no s horoshei storony
navernoe samyi znachimyi den za vse vremya poka ya v almate posle dubai
vstretilas s Olezhei, s nim vsegda tak horosho pogovorit'...potom poehala k tete
uvudela nakonets svoyu sestrenku v polnom zdravii
ona prosto molodets posle svoei avarii
umnitsa prosto
ona schitaet silnoi menya i gorditsya mnoi, no ya schitayu chto imenno ona--sil'naya, ved' ne sdalas' posle takogo...a eshe stala blizhe so svoim lyubimym chelovechkom, s ktr popala vmeste v avariyu...dai Bog vse horosho budet u nih...

i eshe ona ne obizhaetsya na to chto ya ischezayu...pochti vsem lyudyam ktr lyubyat menya prihoditsya prinimat etot fakt...chto ya prosto mogu vzyat i ischeznut....ne pozvonit', ne predupredit'...i eto ne znachit chto ya ne lyublyu kogoto,,,ya do sih por ne znayu chto eto znachit,,tak sluchaetsya, i dazhe delaya usilie nad soboi ya vse ravno delayu tozhe samoe,,,prosto mne kazhetsya ya ischezayu dlya togo chtoby horosho podgotovitsya k momentu vstrechi, chtob mne bylo chto skazat...ya ne znayu dazhe...slozhno eto,,,ya dumayu o mnogih lyudyah postoyanno i nesmotrya na moyu nezavisimost' mne bylo by ochen' i ochen' tyazhelo bez nih,,,ya ne dumayu chto ya mogla by lyubit takogo cheloveka kak ya sama...potomu chto polagatsya na menya dokontsa nikogda nel'zya,,,ya mogu prosto sobrat' veshi i uehat'...pochemu? potomu chto mogu,,,ya do sih por ne znayu eto beg OT sebya ili zhe K sebe...i eto navernoe samyi vazhnyi vopros ktr volnuet menya na segodnyahniy den...i reshenie ego ochne mnogo znachit,,,potomu chto ya ne hochu delat' bol'no tem kogo ya lyublyu i kto po kakimto neponyatnym prichinam lyubyat menya,,,

priehala domoi s tau spa
kakto vse zdes mne zhuzhdo esli skazat myagko
v sem'e kak na voine...ili mne kazhetsya???
otkryvayu yashik---tam ego pis'ma, ktr menya tak raduyut...
izza togo chto on mne dolgo pisal predposlednee pismo ego nakazali i teper emu vsyu nedelyu pridetsya vstavat ranshe na chas i delat' osmotr etoi plavayushei shtukoviny (znayushie lyudi utverzhdayut chto eto avianosets)...eshe on tak smeshno opisyvaet shtorm, kak novichki ne mogut hodit i vrezayutsya v steny (:
ochen' i ochen' menya ulybnul (:
azh podnyalos' nastroenie i hochetsya ulybatsya v otvet na vsyu etu gadost'...
vot

ya vse delayu sama...prinimayu resheniya uehat', ostatsya, brosit' ili zhe naooborot-sohranit', no na samom dele ryadom vsegda est' ktoto...kogo ya ne proshu podderzhivat' menya, no on(eto vsegda pochemuto ON)vse ravno pomogaet, podskazyvaet, odobryaet ili naooborot stanovitsya v oppozitsiyu---voobshem delaet vse chtoby ya ne sbilas', ne poteryalas' i na zaputalas' v svoih iskaniyah...eto moi horoshie i blizkie druz'ya, kazhdogo iz kotoryh ya po svoemu lyublyu, kazhdyi iz kotoryh ostavil zametnyi otpechatok na mne kak na lichnosti...glavnoe, tak budet vsegda...na opredelennom urovne ponimaesh chto etot chelovechek tvoi rodnoi, i ne smotrya na nikakie ssory, vy vse ravno proshagaete vmeste kakoito otrezok zhiznei, razoidetes no obyazatelno vstretites snova...
i Bozhe, kak eto priyatno oshushat podderzhku etih zamechatelnyh lyudei...Sergei, ktr terpit vse moi slezy i vse ravno nahodit vo mne chtoto horoshee chto perevesit moi isteriki (:
Daniel, ktr nikogda ne skazhet chto skuchaet, no pri etom zadast kuchu voprosov o moei zhizni, pokazyvaya iskrennee uchastie; s nim Almata kazalos sovsem drugoi, seichas zhe etot gorod pust ot nego
a teper eshe poyavilsya Marco, ktr skrashivaet moi budni svoimi rasskazami o more, svoih priklyucheniyah i prosto s nim interesno govorit obo vsem...
eshe u menya est' zamechatel'naya podruga Lena... pri tom chto ya prakticheski ne veryu v zhenskuyu druzhbu....ona vsegda poimet, podderzhit esli ya prava a esli net to zadast mne horoshuyu trepku(imenno tem letom ya ponayala naskolko zhe vazhna nasha druzhba, 2 goda nazad), mnogie zaviduyut nashei druzhbe i ya dumayu est' chemu...druzhba bez ogranichenii, kazhdaya dvigaetsya v svoyu storonu no pri etom ostaemsya rodnymi drug drugu
seichas ya dumayu o vseh etih chelovechkah i mne stanovitsya ochen lekgo i radostno, ottogo chto oni est v moei zhizni,,,coz they are the few people who matter


PS vot on i Marco
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segodnya nemnogo strannyi den'...pogoda strannaya, silnyi veter, ozhidaetsya shtorm,,,vse kakieto vzvinchennye hodyat...ya chut ne grohnulas na lestnitse, zatsepivshis kablukom, i konechno zhe na glazah samogo simpotichnogo kollegi (:
posledovali moi 3ehetzhnye maty i ego ispugonnoe "r u ok?" ...v den' ya obychno hot raz no spotknus na etoi duratskoi lestnitse
Daniel mozhet sednya uedet v komandirovku na nedelyu,,,no vozmozhno otmenyat ego vylet(na chto ya konechno nadeyus) izza pogody
more segodnya otmenyaetsya po vysheukazannoi prichine i pridetsya zanyatsya chemnit drugim....
zato zavtra posledniy rabochiy den...

eshe my sednya zamutili okrosku na mestnom kislomolochnom napitke laban
ochen vkusno poluchilos
kstati dan nachalsya s priyatnogo---prochitala email Marco,,,sladkiy zelenpglazyi amerikaneys ispano-ital'yanskogo proishozhdeniya...sluzhit v US NAVY....a sam iz solnechnoi Californii
pozge obeshayu vykinut foto,,,
takie dela voobshem
uzhe pochti 4 i ochen hochetsya spat....
vot(:

a nahoditsya on sovsem ryadom...
solnechnye teplye dni(ili vsetaki goryachie?),,,prekrasnoe chistoe more...melkiy belyo pesochek polnyi zamyslovatyh rakushek i malenkih puglivyh krabikov....kucha interesnyh lyudei....a glavnoe malchegov s bolshimi zelenymi glazami i dlinyushshimi resnitsami, zagorelymi nakachennymi telami ktr ko vsemu prochemu rassekayut na dvudvernyh sportivkah....
samyi bolshoi v mire mall, v ktr est iskustvennaya ledyanaya gorka dlya kataniya na doske i lyzhah...svezhie soki i moreprodukty zdes daleko ne exotika...nesmotrya na to chto samo po sebe zdes nichego ne rastet, gorod utopaet v zeleni,,,raznoobraznye palmy i tsvety dikoi yarkosti eshe bolee delayu gorod pohozhim na skazku,,,
takoi vot eto gorod, zhivoi energichnyi i svobodnyi...gorod ktr stal eshe odnim moim domom i navernoe stanet odnim iz samyh lyubimyh mest,,,