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Настроение сейчас - grey

weird...I worry about him.smth happened I guess cos he doesn't reply me.is he offended by me?but why?I feel like I hadn't done smth bad but seems like I did...it was so sunny today and so warm outside and I wanted to go to the cinema or whatever else, but he didn't want to.there were a lot of reasons as he said...but I guess he just didn't want to go.it's way better to sit near the PC and to play.and who cares that organism needs some oxygen...sigh.it offended me cos everytime I offer him to go for a walk he doesn't want to.why?!
and then he wrote me tat sms with the sense 'you-don't-care-need-or-whatever-else-about-me".and now he does't reply me.I dno what happened to him.just it wasn't the offensive thing by me, I mean my reply.but why then...?

Oh gosh, I hope he's okay over there and that noone have hurt him...the weirdest thing is that his cousine doesn't reply me as well...oh hell.I even can't concntrate on my studyings.but I guess if smth bad happened, his parents would call me.at least I hope so.so I hoipe he's okay...

yesterday i had anime day.maaaaan I'm in love with shonen-ai and yaoi...two days(or better to say 2 nights) in a line I was watching "Junjou romantica" and I'm in love with this anime.it's even better then Gakuen Heaven.
nam nam, I wanna be a guy in my next life lol...but I'm serious.and I don't promise I'll be hetero. wOOt.yep that's it

Oh one more thing.gotta put in my plan one more thing: to start dancing again.to find dance club or just tutorial vidseo and to dance.I realised that I can't live without dancing.moving-is my life.but on the other hand the trainings in the dance club is way expencive...gotta think about it!but I promise myself soon I'll start dancing again!

Настроение сейчас - indigo

как же я хочу вырваться из этой страны.
хочу уехать далеко, в Европу, в Америку, в Австралию...куда-нибудь, лишь бы не здесь.очень хочу в Австралию.там всегда так тепло, а я очень люблю тепло.
сейчас за окном снег лежит, а сегодня сияло солнышко.и так тепло было от его лучей.оно светило мне прямо в спину и я вспомнила лето...

внутри меня такое жуткое опустошение.наверное, из-за несданого модуля по биологии.я все-таки волнуюсь.хотя стараюсь не терять веры, что все будет хорошо.а как же еще?

не могу понять Валеру.он мне не звонит, не пишет, вчера был раздраженный...что с ним, я не знаю.почему все не может быть нормально, так, как у людей?вечно унас то раздражения, то выяснения отношений напустом месте...
почему-то мне кажется, что у него проблемы.и мне кажется, он мне подвирает.но не признается.что же происходит?как это узнать?

хочу уехать из этой страны...и я уеду.обещаю себе.отучусь, стану доктором и уеду.это я добавляю в свой план.

и еще.

НИКОГДА НИКОМУ НЕ ПОЗВОЛЯЙ УКРАСТЬ ТВОЮ МЕЧТУ И РАЗРУШИТЬ ТВОЮ ЦЕЛЬ! помни это...

[320x237]

[575x699]
Настроение сейчас - orange

crap I need more practice in English...decided to write smth just in this language.

I want already spring to come.I feel so freakin' tired...and I'm kinda upset cos I didn't pass that exam in biology.gotta redo it.I've never thought that I'll have problems with biology since it used to be one of the most favorite subjects.I'm disappointed with my own.
I decided that I need to change my treating to ppl.actually I started to notice that I became rude and angry and I don't contact with ppl like I used to...and I'm afraid that I'll stay like this the whole my further life.I don't want to, so here what I decided to do ( my plan...GOTTA do it!!!):

-stop arguing with my roommates.enemies make me stronger and that's why I gotta love them...sigh that's hard to love those girls but I'll try.I guess they were a lil bit shocked when they so me so friendly smiling right into their faces...wahaha!it was right decision!
-gotta be more communicative and to talk with ppl more.I seriously need more friends.dno why, but we don't chat with Megan and Jenna that much now.maybe cos of time...dno.I can't even write the letter to Meg, I dno what should I write about.but still I miss her and they both will stay in my heart forever..
-gotta do smth with this exam in biology.else gotta think positive: I will pass this fucking test and nothing will stop me!I feel lazy and that's it!gotta fight with my lazyness.

and that's it for now.
smn please turn on the Sun.I so need it...
sigh...

kisses and hugs <3