He said that he more than just likes me. And he says that after I ran away from him, broke his heart and hurt his feelings. He said I hurt him and he still likes me. For what? May be people need to be hurt in relationships. Why didn't he just forgot me. 6 months is a long time. And he says he likes me, no matter what. The problem is that he is serious about it and i don't appreciate it.
He talked to me yesterday - grown up broken hearted guy and he made me feel like a child, he explained me what i am doing to my life. I knew that without him - i fuck up my life just for fun. And it was ok while he didn't point on it, on my mistakes and my weird behaviour.
I liked Kemal, because he was as much a child as i am. He used to fuck with life as i do right now. I don't like Roman, cuz he is like my mother - trying to protect me taking away all dangerous staff from my hands. Do i need that?
I realy don't know anything anymore, this time it's for real. I know that I have to grow up one day, but i need more time, more fun, more irresponsibility. I am scared of plans and responsibility.
After yesterdays talk I feel like a gun without bullets - used to fight, but hollow right now. It kills me as a person. I don't need anybody saying that i am wrong and mistaken. I need inspiration, understanding, some help. Just some warm words.