Such is life. words...they can't be pain releavers.. but trying to help each other we talk... Why don't we ever have the things and people we really need> Why do we always understand that we needed and cared about someone when it's late? Why do we have to make choices? Why is it SO hard?

Anger is a step in the wrong direction! I know, that humans will put-up with alot of pain and suffering if they have a reason or an author of it, they will then block the pain with an overlay of anger... To hell with that!!! Just let go... Understanding is a much better painkiller! The fact that it ended earlier rather then later is something you should feel good about! It was not love... It was just passion...
"If you love something - let it go... If it comes back - it's yours, If it does not - it never was!!!"

Making the choices is easy, it's the living with what follows that's hard...

Unfortunately I know that. And I don't make easy choices cuz I am not used to follow the stream.
Let it go...
I let it go and felt absolutely free and happy after. 4 days later i got the news about his death. And I feel bad not for any fucking feelings and passions, but for his young and hopeless fucking life.
If only I could split my life for 2, no matter how much i have left, i would give him a half of my life without inturrapting him. I always wanted him to be happy, just happy

Sorry, I did not mean to sound insensitive, I did not realize, that he died...

It sometimes takes considerable strength just to "Follow The Stream", why do we not believe in ourselves enough to use it for something constructive...

There are people who are the stream (the crowd), people who use that stream, people who want to change the direction of the stream for better. As for me personally I just don't want to have anything to do with that stream for now. May be later i'll figure my way