ok im back! after a year! so much shit happened! LIKE A LOT! i know what happened so i wont write it here. i'just wanna share the most important things..i wanna share my thoughts and feelings.
so, i decided to go back to moscow, especially after this summer. it was one of the best summers filled with so many fucking emotions! u were driving me crazy! crazy from emotions, not always good emotions. thank u, u showed me what is really crazy and kinda fucked up relationship is. but now it's all gone. i left again, but i miss u. a lot. BUT not enough. not enough.
another thing is other You. back to nm. with you i always feel calm and i just know that u would understand everything. i told u that i plan to go to moscow after i graduate this fucking FIT, u said that i should follow my heart no matter what. it will lead me very far in life, just like it led u to the point where u r now. honestly i love it that u are the way u r and that u still treat me as someone who is perfect. thank u for support. i still care about u, but again not enough.
is it possible to care for both people at the same time? very much?
oh and i should quit drinking. these last friday with Dana Brandon Jew was the worst EVAAAHHHH thank Gd i'm alive.
ok so i still have 2 things to decide: 1. which u i really need, or i dont need u guys at all. i just feel im not ready to loose any of u yet. 2. do i really wanna go back to moscow.
well there is a dilemma happening here....i'm sick of this feeling!
oh and we are moving to this lady with the dog, but i fucking want my own place!
ok. i will share more soon! xoxoxoxo