Another sleepless night, another dark blue sky, light with thousands of starts, which are becoming so well known to Sabriel…
Once again she's sitting besides her window and wondrously staring at the patterns of those mysterious lights. The wounds on her wrist are still fresh; she gently rubbed her hand and drowned in the deep sorrow of her what seemed like a never-ending misery, which happens to be her life.

How many times she was close to leaving this torturous life, how many times did she wrestle with the though of ending her heart beat and pulled herself from the depth of death.
'What will I gain by doing so…' she though. 'Revenge...?' maybe… relief? yesssss
She took a deep breath and wondered the sky with her gaze. The only thing that stopped her, were 2 people in her life, for whom she lived for who she carried on breathing. 'Should… or shouldn't I …' the question never left her mind.
After few more moments of the painful subject, she went into her own world, which was the only way she escaped her life…

The feeling of emptiness left a deep scar in her heart, why did he leave, why did he leave me? 'I need him; I need his strength, his company…' This pain was from a loss of a friend not that long ago, the loss of one person, to whom she could talk to and say exactly how she felt, without being judged, that one person who she could listen to, just listen not say a single word, but just listen and be there… '
It was like they helped each other, to survive, but a call, this stupid damn fucking call!! Why didn't I make the call why!? I lost him now and there is no way back.'
This thought of self hatred, gilt and emptiness was one of things which drove her to such a need of death.

She dreamed of that one person who would love her, for who she was, who would be there when she opens her eyes in the morning, who would hold her when she was down. She never saw his face just a figure… a figure of her imagination. A figure that she felt was the closest being in her life. Who truly understood her and loved her. But if he was her imagination would that mean that he was just a part of her, did that mean she loved herself? But if she did love herself why would she do all those things, why would she try to avoid the mirror, constantly try to change herself…try to end herself… The philosophic conversation with her own mind lasted about an hour… then she felt a bit drowsy and went to lie down.

Sabriel lay in her bed staring at the ceiling which seemed pitch black and only the light from the moon and the stars reflected the poster of her favourite art work which was barely visible. Couple of moments later, she fell into the deep hole of sleep.

The darkness slowly absorbed her, bit by bit, until she was once again in another world, a world of dreams.
A road, she was standing at the top of hill… the scenery was beautiful. Bright blue skies, the sun is gently brushing over her skin, few clouds are flowing above her, like angels watching her every move. She stood there, motionless, taking long deep breaths. 'Free, I am free…' she quietly said to herself. Admiring the beauty around her, every hill, every tree and every mountain, was full of life, of energy that surrounded her. The wind was lifting some of leaves from the ground and carrying them, playing with their weightless form, lifting them up and directing them at his will. Sapphire watched them for a while, how they were at the mercy of winds will, wondering where he would take them, then she turned around and looked ahead.
The road in front of her was long, she knew it, and she felt it. It was hard; it was painful, but somehow she knew, she has to go…
The first step is never easy, especially when you have to make it alone. Slowly she started walking; step by step she felt the heaven dissolving around her, her journey has began.

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