My life is a zero-sum game. Anything I do has an opportunity cost of something I could’ve done instead. Whatever I am doing I'm loosing on something else, no matter how hard I'm trying.

So, I just stop frustrating myself with this notion of my incompleteness, of my imperfections and adopt God's perception of myself. He loves me for nothing, so I'd try to do the same. I also adopt His perception of others. He loves them for nothing, so I want to learn to do the same. Yes, all my comfort comes from belonging to Christ, from his love.

 It just came up to me so suddenly, that it's all right that there is something wrong with me. I don't really have to try to fix it. I just have to learn how to live with it. For so long, I've been desperately trying to figure out what's wrong with me and how to fix it, but not any more. It doesn't mean that I've stopped to work on myself, it means that I've stopped to get frustrated that my expectations about myself aren't coming true.

Really, there's nothing new in how it all sound, but it feels totally different. It seems to be common sence when someone's saying it, but it took the most unpredictable/unforeseeable life situations, people, time to get to experience it.

Jesus, your name is good, your love is comforting even if I can't get how it works, even if don’t' think about you, even if my love is not. So I praise you and bless your name.